EobardAllen Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 So I posted here before detailing a friendship I had with a former best friend of mine. We had a falling out due to the fact that I had begun to develop feelings for her and she was asking too much of me at the time our friendship ended. Over the past couple of weeks, I've made attempts to reconcile with her (coming to terms with my own faults, and forgiving hers) although we never really talked in depth about everything that happened, we were able to at least talk to each other. She gave her cat to me about a year and a half ago, and asked to see him this past friday (We haven't seen each other in person in 5 months.) I agreed to it, much to the dismay of my family and my current friends, who are like brothers to me. So I make sure my schedule is open all of friday, she tells me that shell be down around 9 or 10. When 10:30 rolls around she tells me that she hasn't even left her campus yet, I told her that it wasn't a big deal, and that I wasn't planning on going to bed until 1am. She arrives at my house around 12am, and literally right before she pulls into my driveway, she calls me and tells me that she can't come inside of my home, that she's with someone (who turned out to be what I assumed to be her boyfriend), and that she can't stay long. Right off the bat the situation is awkward for me. I let her see the cat, but we didn't chat much, after around 7 minutes the situation is just too weird for me to be in. So I leave to go spend the night at a friends house, as i'm leaving i'm genuinely considerate and polite to her. On the way to my friends house she sends me a couple of messages telling me that she "didn't think it would be a big deal" and "you didn't even ask me if I wanted to see (****) The truth is all of my friends used to be her friends as well, but they don't want to be associated with her because of how she treated me during our falling out. I told her that it wasn't a big deal, and that I was just going to bed early. When I arrive at my friends house, while I'm using the bathroom, he reads the messages she sent (after I told him what happened) and then proceeds to call her and basically tells her how they aren't really friends anymore and everyone thinks shes a piece of ****. She ended up in tears and blamed me for everything that happened. I apologized profusely that night and into the morning, with no response from her. I call her twice and on the second call she picks up, angry, and tells me how my friend was right, and that she's wrong and is in the minority and that it was her fault, but she talks to me in a tone that is bothered and angry. For the past two days she has ignored me, I've made the mistake of blowing up her phone during this period trying to get her to talk to me about it. I feel like I've made a complete fool of myself. All I want is for everyone in the situation to be happy, but I cant force her to work through issues, and I've just ended up being the one who feels the worst about the situation. Should I just let go? Are these relationships even remotely salvageable?
lalit.singh Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 So I posted here before detailing a friendship I had with a former best friend of mine. We had a falling out due to the fact that I had begun to develop feelings for her and she was asking too much of me at the time our friendship ended. Over the past couple of weeks, I've made attempts to reconcile with her (coming to terms with my own faults, and forgiving hers) although we never really talked in depth about everything that happened, we were able to at least talk to each other. She gave her cat to me about a year and a half ago, and asked to see him this past friday (We haven't seen each other in person in 5 months.) I agreed to it, much to the dismay of my family and my current friends, who are like brothers to me. So I make sure my schedule is open all of friday, she tells me that shell be down around 9 or 10. When 10:30 rolls around she tells me that she hasn't even left her campus yet, I told her that it wasn't a big deal, and that I wasn't planning on going to bed until 1am. She arrives at my house around 12am, and literally right before she pulls into my driveway, she calls me and tells me that she can't come inside of my home, that she's with someone (who turned out to be what I assumed to be her boyfriend), and that she can't stay long. Right off the bat the situation is awkward for me. I let her see the cat, but we didn't chat much, after around 7 minutes the situation is just too weird for me to be in. So I leave to go spend the night at a friends house, as i'm leaving i'm genuinely considerate and polite to her. On the way to my friends house she sends me a couple of messages telling me that she "didn't think it would be a big deal" and "you didn't even ask me if I wanted to see (****) The truth is all of my friends used to be her friends as well, but they don't want to be associated with her because of how she treated me during our falling out. I told her that it wasn't a big deal, and that I was just going to bed early. When I arrive at my friends house, while I'm using the bathroom, he reads the messages she sent (after I told him what happened) and then proceeds to call her and basically tells her how they aren't really friends anymore and everyone thinks shes a piece of ****. She ended up in tears and blamed me for everything that happened. I apologized profusely that night and into the morning, with no response from her. I call her twice and on the second call she picks up, angry, and tells me how my friend was right, and that she's wrong and is in the minority and that it was her fault, but she talks to me in a tone that is bothered and angry. For the past two days she has ignored me, I've made the mistake of blowing up her phone during this period trying to get her to talk to me about it. I feel like I've made a complete fool of myself. All I want is for everyone in the situation to be happy, but I cant force her to work through issues, and I've just ended up being the one who feels the worst about the situation. Should I just let go? Are these relationships even remotely salvageable? I would rather prefer you to fight for it !!
Charlie Harper Posted October 30, 2013 Posted October 30, 2013 No its KAPUT ! forget it, let her go, erase her from everything and avoid her like the plague. Now, you made some big mistakes: Don't be Too available, go out with friends, have fun, but never accommodate too much, don't beg and don't CONTRADICT YOURSELF if challenged with a new request: So I make sure my schedule is open all of friday, she tells me that shell be down around 9 or 10. When 10:30 rolls around she tells me that she hasn't even left her campus yet, I told her that it wasn't a big deal, and that I wasn't planning on going to bed until 1am. you made yourself available on some time, then, she calls you to say she is way late, and then you very nicely tell her I am here for you 24/7... She arrives at my house around 12am, and literally right before she pulls into my driveway, she calls me and tells me that she can't come inside of my home, that she's with someone (who turned out to be what I assumed to be her boyfriend), and that she can't stay long. Right off the bat the situation is awkward for me. I let her see the cat, but we didn't chat much, after around 7 minutes the situation is just too weird for me to be in. So I leave to go spend the night at a friends house, as i'm leaving i'm genuinely considerate and polite to her. She arrives and has the nerve to act up some things that in my view and your situation are quite nasty and you are considerate and polite to her, does she deserve it? probably not , but you'll be the judge. Knowing myself I would just give the Cat and went my way, but then again I would have told her in the first place I was not available that late, that I had "some things to do", and leave it at that. And now you are blaming yourself because all their friends now can she she is really a controlling, and a drama Queen? Cant you see it yourself? My advice, learn and don't be too nice, be polite, be yourself and confortable. If a relationship makes you do things, you would not do for any other friend, you are making mistakes. My 2 dracmas
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