Shosh Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 I am posting because I am hoping it will keep me from doing something I'll regret. 3 days ago I went on a first date with a guy I met online. Actually it was not a date but a friendly hangout. We had met online a month ago, but the day before we were supposed to meet he cancelled saying his ex came back into his life and he is confused and does not want to start anything new right now. But he thought I was really nice and would like to be friends if I am interested. I felt the same and agreed and for the last few weeks we have just been chatting as friends talking about all kinds of things and enjoying getting to know each other. Him and his ex did not work out, but we agreed to stay friends only, as this was working for us. We had not met before due to our busy schedules, but three days ago we finally arranged to meet for a friendly drink and chat. The minute I walked through the door of the pub and saw him it was like I was talking to someone I had known for a really long time. We kept talking and one drink turned into 2, then 3, then ... We just kept on talking and did not realize how late it was. We talked until the first pub closed so we went to another place and stayed until they kicked us out and then went to a club, but stayed mostly outside where we could talk. Finally around 4 every place closed down and he walked me home. We finally kissed at the last place and made out a little at my place before he left. To be honest this was probably the best first date I've ever been on. It was just so much fun and there is not one thing I don't like about him. He is smart, intelligent, kind, cute, funny, etc. Maybe it hit really me hard because I did not expect that at all, I did not see it as going on a date and did not even dress up for it, just had on a pair of jeans and a jumper. Since then we have texted a little bit, he has initiated communiation, but mostly just a 'hey, how's it going text'. He has said that he had a great time, but has not suggested that we do it again. I have no idea what he thinks! He said he also did not expect that turnout at all, as he thought he was just going to hang out with a friend who happens to be female. I've made it clear that I had a great time and told him at least twice that I think he is really awesome. I really want to see him again, but I'd rather not ask him out for 2 reasons: 1) I want to know if he is interested and one way to gauge that is whether he asks me out 2) I asked him out for our first 'date'. So it is not like I have a problem asking a guy out, but since I suggested the first date I think it is his turn now Well, this is where I am at. Thinking about him constantly and really appreciating what a wonderful time we had, but not sure how he feels and if he wants more than friendship. I am thinking it would be a good idea to just wait a few days and see if he asks me out. If he doesn't, that probably means he is not interested, right? Help! I feel like a teenager even though we are both in our 30ies. Anybody got any advice?
Shashasha Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 Hmmm... This must be tough for you. He seems like he just wants to be friends and yet he got carried away - It is not unfair that he kissed you since it is ibviously raising your hopes..i strongly suggest you keeping quiet for now and wait for him to initiate the next outing if there ever is going to be one. If he doesnt, you know his mind. You will have to move on - it will hurt fir a while but it will only get better.
Carenth Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 (edited) Indeed this sounds like teenagers and you guys are older than I am. If you like him enough then just ask him to hang out again. This isn't a battle of egos, if you are both having a good time who gives a **** who asks who out. Reminds me of two teenagers who really like each other but are too self conscious to get over themselves. Then they both sit around waiting for the other to contact them. Neither does anything so decide that the other party isn't interested, which isn't the case. In short. If you like him ask him out again. Playing games is for kids. Edited October 28, 2013 by Carenth 2
husker1989 Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 OP, I'd suggest waiting and let him chase you a bit. If he is interested he will chase trust me atleast that's how I do it (I'm a man btw). If you have made it clear that you are interested and you had a great time then I'd let him sit on that idea for a little while. Me being a guy, I'm very black and white and straight forward (I know kissing and making out just happens, but it can really confuse minds for women as well as us guys). 1
Leigh 87 Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 If he is as into you as you are into him, he will ask you out again. Men move mountains for girls they are truly into; even if he lived 3 hours away he'd set up a once a week date with you if he was that into you. Yes women need to step up and show their interest too! I sure do! However, I let the guy take the lead too, so I know it is not JUST me making the effort. 1
Author Shosh Posted October 28, 2013 Author Posted October 28, 2013 Hi guys, thanks a lot for your replies. Sounds to me like the consensus is for me to wait and see if he asks me to get together again. I fully agree, though it is rather difficult because I really like him. But I have made it clear that I like him and that I would like to see him again, so I do think the ball is in his corner. I think I'll give it a week and if he has not suggested by then that we go on a date but keeps checking in via text, I might just ask him about it. As in: 'Hey, I really like you and enjoyed our get-together, but I have the feeling you don't feel the same. Do you just want to be friends?' If he stops communicating before then I think I have my answer and there is no need to ask. What do you think? I'll keep you posted of any developments.
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