singlelife Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 One of my friends told me it's near impossible to date someone with racisit friends. He said the cultural differences are too great.
todreaminblue Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 One of my friends told me it's near impossible to date someone with racisit friends. He said the cultural differences are too great. i have friends who would not date who i have...i dont consider that a bad thing.....they accept who i date i accept who they date.....seems simple to me....deb
Chr15 Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 One of my friends told me it's near impossible to date someone with racisit friends. He said the cultural differences are too great. The problem isn't cultural differences, it's the racist friends! 6
Carenth Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 I was going to say this isn't an issue with interracial dating, this is a issue with having ignorant, racist friends. I'm in an interracial relationship (not my first) and I haven't had a huge amount of issues. Yes there is some cultural differences but most are not insurmountable. If they were I wouldn't be dating the people I date. Then again I've grown up in a very multicultural city and have friends from all different backgrounds and I just see them for what they are, they are people. Having racist friends would make it difficult. However I think a better question is. Why be friends with racists? 4
Gallaxia Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 I think it's only hard if the couple/person allows (the intolerant) outsiders to influence them with their limited views.
Real36 Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 The difficult part is when one of the pair is uncomfortable with dating outside of their race. This happened to me. My ex hurt my feelings by employing "white girl" stereotypes to describe me when he was mad at me. One side of his family was not too keen on interracial dating so I never met them at all. I was hidden from certain others in his group of friends too (not to mention all the girls he was cheating with). These things hurt me very much. The cultural differences are there but are easily over come if you really want to be with each other. And like Carenth said, Why be friends with racists?
lishabello Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 Interracial dating is hard because of the pressure from the people around you. If you are in an interracial relationship, you have to ignore the people who think that dating a person from a different race is wrong. 1
ls32ssibm Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 There is actual a biological stigma attached to it, so don't attribute all of the misgivings to ignorance. I once read that it was against the biological imperative that humans posses to DESIRE mixed race children. This dates back to the days of humans living in tribes and it goes hand-in-hand with how they identified people more like themselves (IE from the same tribe) to help ensure survival. So, it's up to you if it would be worth it or not. I truly believe a fly on the wall in any household would hear that mom and dad of the couple would prefer grandchildren of the same race over mixed race grandchildren, in spite of how tolerant they are.
todreaminblue Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 There is actual a biological stigma attached to it, so don't attribute all of the misgivings to ignorance. I once read that it was against the biological imperative that humans posses to DESIRE mixed race children. This dates back to the days of humans living in tribes and it goes hand-in-hand with how they identified people more like themselves (IE from the same tribe) to help ensure survival. So, it's up to you if it would be worth it or not. I truly believe a fly on the wall in any household would hear that mom and dad of the couple would prefer grandchildren of the same race over mixed race grandchildren, in spite of how tolerant they are. when god split up the tribes..confounded language and diversity..he promised one day we would all be one people again and gradually i believe that is happening......to me god doesnt see people as different we are all his children .......regardless...we will all coem together oen day...some of us dont care if it is sooner.....some do......over generation upon generation the caring who does what when where and will pale...as it has......women can vote now......years ago not so....people of color were not able to vote in america...or go to the same schools...now who is the president again in the us....who all americans can vote for????.....what one person voices doesnt matter, or a couple who stare at a multi racial couple in the street, when generations will amke the difference, change is happening cant stop it...who would want to ..debe
soccerrprp Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 Interracial dating hasn't been difficult for me in my life-time. I have dated mostly white women and as far as I can gauge, I don't believe race has ever been an issue. The key is to surround yourself with friends (and family) that are open-minded. My current gf who is white said to me that she doesn't regard me as a minority. It doesn't cross her mind b/c she sees me as, hold on to your hat....just another human being. Of course, when we walk down the street with our kids that range from dark skinned African to lily-pale, blue-eyed Caucasian, people notice and we love it! OP, it's difficult b/c you are greatly influenced by your so-called friends. They possess attitudes that are unhealthy and potentially dangerous, really. It's a shame that people lose sight of the importance of diversity that is humankind and how it exists for us all to enjoy and marvel. I have amazing friends AND family. Thank goodness that tolerance is a common theme in both. In the end, they just want me to be happy with whomever I fall in love with.
Shashasha Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 Interracial dating hasn't been difficult for me in my life-time. I have dated mostly white women and as far as I can gauge, I don't believe race has ever been an issue. The key is to surround yourself with friends (and family) that are open-minded. My current gf who is white said to me that she doesn't regard me as a minority. It doesn't cross her mind b/c she sees me as, hold on to your hat....just another human being. Of course, when we walk down the street with our kids that range from dark skinned African to lily-pale, blue-eyed Caucasian, people notice and we love it! OP, it's difficult b/c you are greatly influenced by your so-called friends. They possess attitudes that are unhealthy and potentially dangerous, really. It's a shame that people lose sight of the importance of diversity that is humankind and how it exists for us all to enjoy and marvel. I have amazing friends AND family. Thank goodness that tolerance is a common theme in both. In the end, they just want me to be happy with whomever I fall in love with. That's really nice
Emilia Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 There is actual a biological stigma attached to it, so don't attribute all of the misgivings to ignorance. I once read that it was against the biological imperative that humans posses to DESIRE mixed race children. This dates back to the days of humans living in tribes and it goes hand-in-hand with how they identified people more like themselves (IE from the same tribe) to help ensure survival. So, it's up to you if it would be worth it or not. I truly believe a fly on the wall in any household would hear that mom and dad of the couple would prefer grandchildren of the same race over mixed race grandchildren, in spite of how tolerant they are. Ignorance indeed. Tribes in the 'good old days' used to kidnap women from other tribes to ensure gene diversity. Last paragraph exposes your ignorance even further, complete and utter bull**** and highly offensive. I have had several interracial relationships. I cannot imagine being friends with people who had issues with that. How backward and really incredibly limited and limiting. 2
ls32ssibm Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 Ignorance indeed. Tribes in the 'good old days' used to kidnap women from other tribes to ensure gene diversity. Last paragraph exposes your ignorance even further, complete and utter bull**** and highly offensive. I have had several interracial relationships. I cannot imagine being friends with people who had issues with that. How backward and really incredibly limited and limiting. LOL, early man and by extension early civilizations had very little concept of genes or DNA, and certainly weren't breeding with the intent to "promote" diversity as you suggest. You can either be politically correct or you can be a realist. I presented a realistic scenario of why interracial dating is so difficult for many people to accept. It's a similar situation to parents who have a gay son. They may love him no matter what, but if parents could choose a kid be gay or straight what do you think most parents would choose? They would obviously choose what better coincides with society and biological norms. You can be "offended" as you want, but the poster asked why it was so hard, and I presented an answer beyond "omg everybody is ignorant and racist" like every other poster said.
Phantom888 Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 If you don't date outside your race, it doesn't mean you are racist. If you date outside your race it doesn't mean you are NOT racist. It's all about preference and what you are comfortable with. I think if you are black, you should not date a racist white person. Too complicated.
MrCastle Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 LOL, early man and by extension early civilizations had very little concept of genes or DNA, and certainly weren't breeding with the intent to "promote" diversity as you suggest. You can either be politically correct or you can be a realist. I presented a realistic scenario of why interracial dating is so difficult for many people to accept. It's a similar situation to parents who have a gay son. They may love him no matter what, but if parents could choose a kid be gay or straight what do you think most parents would choose? They would obviously choose what better coincides with society and biological norms. You can be "offended" as you want, but the poster asked why it was so hard, and I presented an answer beyond "omg everybody is ignorant and racist" like every other poster said. If I'm reading the thread right, this is more about the people of one culture making it hard for someone of another culture to date their friends. I.E. -- a black guy tries to date a white girl but her friends/family shame her for it in a variety of ways and make it harder for the couple to stay together. If that's the case, then that is racist and ignorant. I don't think this a conversation about whether or not we have racial preferences, and would prefer to date our own -- this is more about outsiders sabotaging relationships because they don't agree with x race dating y race.
Carenth Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 Maybe it's where I'm from but there is no real social stigma with interracial dating or at least it's not a prevalent social stigma. They are pretty much a dime a dozen here, especially within people in my generation. My parents/friends couldn't give a crap, they think my GF is beautiful and really like her. Maybe I'm just fortunate enough to have such accepting people around me? I see it as basically the people who have an issue with mixed raced couples is purely outdated social expectations. Who were raised in a time when this was considered a taboo, these days it really is not as much of an issue. If they give someone **** for being in that sort of relationship then that is ignorant and racist, there is no other way to describe it.
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