xpaperxcutx Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 I've been a long time member of this forum since 2007, and over the years I have had my ups and downs in terms of dating. I was one of those people who dated around but never really managed to settle down completely. Last year around August I met my ex and over time we began to date. I was not fully committed to him and my feelings were always iffy because of my uncertainties about relationships in general. Although he and I had similar interests, we had different beliefs. He believed in marriage, I did not. However, over time, my feelings grew for him that it evolved to us exchanging I love yous. Of course, our relationships were abound with problems. I was insecure and needy. And because of my issues, I would from time to time, lash out at him in anger. He took it. But even he had limits. We fought. I pushed him emotionally to a point, he retaliated physically. We tried to work out our issues, i tried. I made promises. I tried to change, but he never really fully went back to the guy I first fell in love with. And recently because of something i did, he took it upon himself to fully sever ties with me. It's been 2 weeks approximately, since i last heard from him. I have went NC per his wishes but I broke it this past Thursday by texting him. He didn't reply. The thing is , I really love him, and it's so hard for me to let him go. He has hurt me in the past but i was willing to overlook them. I know I was someone who was wrong also, and over time i have changed to accommodate his needs. But it was never enough. He told me he didn't love me anymore and all he wanted to do was meet other people. The worst part was that he had retroactive jealousy. I was, in his terms, his first, but because I had relationships before him, he blamed for being a whore and a slut. I'm emotionally distraught, and all I do is cry. I have responsibilities that includes finishing my studies and work, but my concentration has faltered so much I feel like I just want to stay in bed all day. I pray almost everyday asking for him back but it's hopeless. My friends all tell me to move on but it's hard. I genuinely fell for him and now its so hard to just say I want to move on. I know he has moved on already. What can I do? I want him back but I know he does not want me.
johan Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 It's painful to have even really bad relationships come to an end, xpaperxcutx. But it's always something you become thankful for later. You have to be patient with the feelings and also have faith that you will find a better relationship in the future. From how it sounds, it won't be hard to find a better one.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted October 27, 2013 Author Posted October 27, 2013 It's painful to have even really bad relationships come to an end, xpaperxcutx. But it's always something you become thankful for later. You have to be patient with the feelings and also have faith that you will find a better relationship in the future. From how it sounds, it won't be hard to find a better one. I don't want a new relationship. i certainly don't want to move. I understand the old relationship was bad, but there's always an opportunity for exes to get back together. I'm just waiting and trying to be patient and hope that he comes back to me.
lovelylilly Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 We tried to work out our issues, i tried. I made promises. I tried to change, but he never really fully went back to the guy I first fell in love with. And recently because of something i did, he took it upon himself to fully sever ties with me. Maybe take this time to let things cool down and that way when you two get in contact again, you'll be able to understand how to change things for the better. When your emotions kick in, it's hard to think straight. It's easy to let your emotions take over and end up saying things you regret later. Find something that takes your mind off things-talk to friends and family, go out, do a hobby. Anything, but don't talk to your ex anytime soon :/. I hope things get better soon!
Author xpaperxcutx Posted October 28, 2013 Author Posted October 28, 2013 Maybe take this time to let things cool down and that way when you two get in contact again, you'll be able to understand how to change things for the better. When your emotions kick in, it's hard to think straight. It's easy to let your emotions take over and end up saying things you regret later. Find something that takes your mind off things-talk to friends and family, go out, do a hobby. Anything, but don't talk to your ex anytime soon :/. I hope things get better soon! Thanks. That is what happened. I'm an impulsive person and unfortunately, because of this trait of mine, I let my emotions take over. I haven't contacted him, except to say I'm sorry, and he hasn't reached out to me. There is not much I can do. I'm doing the best I can in terms of taking care of my own needs first and i'm working out and trying to focus on my own stuff. It's really hard though, but I too, hope things will get better.
Els Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 Is this the same guy who hit you with a bottle but you got back together with, PC? I recall you posting about that, but don't recall whether it was before or after Aug 2012. If it is, I honestly think that him breaking up with you is the best thing that could have happened to you. Not being snarky, genuinely trying to put things into perspective. You are WAY better off without a loser who resorts to physical violence.
Zahara Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 I read your history. This guy hit you with a bottle and slapped you. Has used some choice words in belittling you. Yet, here you are wanting to get back with him. It's a blessing that he has broken up with you and is in no contact because you clearly have no strength or clarity to do it for yourself. It's pretty sad when you want to go back to abuse. Get some help. 1
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