crazybestie101 Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 Just saw a picture of my ex with a girl in halloween party with bunch of other people. Well i guess they aren't dating or anything. They just met last weekend. But i noticed my ex liking all of her pictures where as she doesn't pay that much attention to it. Another way to show me and world that " hey i am over and can girls i want." This is coming from guy who was very reserved and shy, was like thousand miles away from dating and asking girls out. What a drastic change. **** **** **** my life..
Simon Phoenix Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 Time to block the ex on social media. You should have done this already, but if you want to avoid these setbacks and move forward, it's a must. 2
Mario79 Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 I am keeping away from facebook specially these days. You may see or find things that will feel worse than cuts and set you back as well. Cautionary tale. 2
KatZee Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 Why do you continue to act this way?? First you borderline stalk him by driving 700 miles to force him to talk to you, and now you're stalking him on social media! Enough! You dated him for three months. I mean, come on. It's time to really get over this. Yes, it hurts, but essentially 3 months is just the "trial period." Think of it like a job. The first 3 months on a new job is when employers evaluate you to determine if you're good at what you're doing. If you are, they keep you. If you're not, they let you go. He dated you for 3 months, realized it wasn't working, he wasn't feeling things for you and he let you go. It's time to let HIM go. You keep saying you're NC but social media is a form of contact, and you looking at pictures is NOT being in NC. You need to block him, and then get off the computer and go do something with your friends. 2
reddragon588 Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 Another way to show me and world that " hey i am over and can girls i want." It's not to show you anything. He's not doing things thinking about how it will affect you. He's just out there living his life, as you should be doing too. 3
Simon Phoenix Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 Why do you continue to act this way?? First you borderline stalk him by driving 700 miles to force him to talk to you, and now you're stalking him on social media! Enough! You dated him for three months. I mean, come on. It's time to really get over this. Yes, it hurts, but essentially 3 months is just the "trial period." Think of it like a job. The first 3 months on a new job is when employers evaluate you to determine if you're good at what you're doing. If you are, they keep you. If you're not, they let you go. He dated you for 3 months, realized it wasn't working, he wasn't feeling things for you and he let you go. It's time to let HIM go. You keep saying you're NC but social media is a form of contact, and you looking at pictures is NOT being in NC. You need to block him, and then get off the computer and go do something with your friends. Sometimes the short ones can be pesky like that. I mean, I came here off a short relationship, shorter than the OP's, and it was easily the hardest breakup I've had emotionally, worse than relationships that lasted for much longer. I don't think the length of her relationship is terribly relevant -- it was long enough to where it was exclusive. Sometimes the heart latches on quickly and decisively. That being said, you are absolutely on the money about her needed to block and move forward and occupy her time. No matter the length of the relationship, this is necessary. 3
reddragon588 Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 Think about all the other things you could have done in the time it took you to find out this information about him. How long were you on there- 10-15 minutes? That's more than enough time to go on a walk, or Google yoga classes, or something productive! 3
JDPT Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 Exactly- you need to start being more productive with regards to your recovery. We often tend to drown on self pity or indulge in self inflicting pain by way of reminiscing or whatever suits you better. Think outside the box get creative. Once you pick up on some positive momentum you will take off like a private jet. 1
Author crazybestie101 Posted October 27, 2013 Author Posted October 27, 2013 You all right and i am about to do blocking. But it hurts as hell, tears won't stop. My life has turned so miserable. At this point no one else wants even listen to me except you people.. Being college student , i have so many exams , hw due and here i am crying , obsession over that picture. One more shock to finally threw me to move on.. 1
JDPT Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 I'm currently working on a Masters and of course I get dumped as I'm just starting. One thing I said to myself from the beginning was that I will not under any circumstances allow my emotional state to affect my performance in school. Yes it takes me much longer than usual as it is still difficult to focus but I do whatever it takes to not jeopardize school. I've been at the library for 6 hours today going over material. It beats staying at home crying or thinking about someone who I no longer have a clue about does it? Be strong, get up, get out and shake it off. We have all gone through, we are still going through it know that at the end with a lot of work you will come out of this victorious. My reward today will be a concert which I'm looking forward to. What I'm trying to say is, start planning ahead, look way ahead not just in front of you and you will see that you will only expand your horizons. 5
aybc123 Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 Sometimes the short ones can be pesky like that. I mean, I came here off a short relationship, shorter than the OP's, and it was easily the hardest breakup I've had emotionally, worse than relationships that lasted for much longer. I don't think the length of her relationship is terribly relevant -- it was long enough to where it was exclusive. Sometimes the heart latches on quickly and decisively. That being said, you are absolutely on the money about her needed to block and move forward and occupy her time. No matter the length of the relationship, this is necessary. Can second this, one of the worst periods i've felt is when a girl i'd been dating for just 6 weeks went cold on me out of the blue over a holiday period. I fell for her seriously hard, i mean, when i do it's usually quick but this was especially so and it was all the more shocking because it seemed so mutual. Luckily then i was in a pretty good place with the rest of my life and I actually handled it perfectly with regards to not letting her see how much i was suffering/ pushing her away and it worked out (obviously not permanently or i wouldnt be here but still!) But for the 2 weeks it wasn't i just slept the whole time wanted the world to implode and lost about a stone. I think the length of the relationship does dictate what is and is not appropriate for 'getting them back' though, after just a couple of months the truth is you don't know them that well and vice versa so grandiose acts such as the one OP pulled are probably never going to be seen in a positive light no matter what the kind of person you're dealing with, still you live and learn.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 Can second this, one of the worst periods i've felt is when a girl i'd been dating for just 6 weeks went cold on me out of the blue over a holiday period. I fell for her seriously hard, i mean, when i do it's usually quick but this was especially so and it was all the more shocking because it seemed so mutual. Luckily then i was in a pretty good place with the rest of my life and I actually handled it perfectly with regards to not letting her see how much i was suffering/ pushing her away and it worked out (obviously not permanently or i wouldnt be here but still!) But for the 2 weeks it wasn't i just slept the whole time wanted the world to implode and lost about a stone. I think the length of the relationship does dictate what is and is not appropriate for 'getting them back' though, after just a couple of months the truth is you don't know them that well and vice versa so grandiose acts such as the one OP pulled are probably never going to be seen in a positive light no matter what the kind of person you're dealing with, still you live and learn. That's true. Grand gestures usually are bad, but if there's more of a relationship foundation, it might not be looked at nearly as negatively by the other person because they have a better feel of who you are.
Chris715 Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 You all right and i am about to do blocking. But it hurts as hell, tears won't stop. My life has turned so miserable. At this point no one else wants even listen to me except you people.. Being college student , i have so many exams , hw due and here i am crying , obsession over that picture. One more shock to finally threw me to move on.. In the exact same situation as you. No one to really talk to about this stuff except the people on this forum. Also in college with insane amounts of hw, exams, labs, etc. and it's stressful as hell. Still pining over my ex and borderline obsessed with her at times... Hope things get better for the both of us.
ayudorama Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 You all right and i am about to do blocking. But it hurts as hell, tears won't stop. My life has turned so miserable. At this point no one else wants even listen to me except you people.. Being college student , i have so many exams , hw due and here i am crying , obsession over that picture. One more shock to finally threw me to move on.. Hey, try to be easier on yourself. I was in a somewhat similar situation not too long ago, was one week away from graduation, and was losing my mind over the thesis I was working on, along with my experiments in the lab that were failing, and having to deal with my ex breaking up with me all at the same time - for some miraculous reason, I survived it and aced my thesis, even graduated with a really good honors. I know nothing people say can take away that pain, but I'd like to share with you that things will get better. You need to trust that it will. I'm 7 months post-break up, and at the 5th month, when I had accidentally come across my ex's profile picture (although I've long removed him from my account, he's friends with my older and younger brother), I still cried quite a fair bit. It stings, that dull ache in your heart somehow intensifies for that few moments/hours/days. It's been a tough 7 months of NC, but I'm definitely at a better place than I was at the beginning of the break-up. Heaps, heaps better. Cry if it makes you feel better, but tell yourself that okay I'll let myself loose for x period of hours, and after that, oh heck it, I'll do something productive to take my mind off it for abit. It will get easier, you have to trust that our hearts are made hardy, and this life, our lives are greater than just this pain we're feeling now. Hang in there!
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