JOJOJO2 Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 Hey I am new to this kind of thing, I have a problem, don't think its that big but i guess it could be. I have been with this woman for 6 months now, we met on a dating website and we get on amazing, I am in love with this woman! The only problem is, 2 months into the relationship she told me some things about her past which I really wish she had not, She basically freely told me about the guy she was sleeping with before me having a very large ( manhood ) Which has really affected me in regards to feeling secure, I feel as if I am competing with her past relationships in everything she has told me. To top it off before any sexual activities happened between us I got checked for STD's to be sure now unfortunately she did not do the same and managed to pass chlamydia to me, this also affected us but all this seems to just affect me? she was not phased by giving me this infection she saw it has that we had been treated and life goes on and she was OK about it. All these things have added up and I can not get the little details out of my mind. she tries to assure me that she is happy with me and that her past is the past but nothing is working to get me out of this mindset. I am scared that she is going to leave me and I get nasty when we argue about things. I am reminded near enough every day of these things which in turn i get moody and we end up arguing. This woman is amazing, I could not wish to have a better girlfriend and I am so upset that I am going to ruin what we have because of my insecurities. All this has turned me needy and emotional, always wanting attention all the time and for another strange reason my sex drive is extreme I find myself wanting to have sex with her constantly which is causing problems because she no longer has an high sex drive. I over think everything! and find negatives in everything. Before this relationship I was single for 2 years to which i made the effort not to get into anything serious as the relationship before that was a failure. Thank you for reading my story and hope that someone out there will have an answer for me Thanks again.
AShogunNamedMarcus Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 (edited) Let me tell you a story... I was 15 and a beautiful 17 yr old senior fell into my lap. We fell madly in love and it was the same for both of us. Then I got needy. I wanted to know about her past sex life. Who, where, why, how? I felt threatened by all of it. Made her feel bad about it. I felt threatened by just about everything. Her getting attention from other guys. Her shorts were too short and other guys could look at her so I complained. She bought those shorts to impress me and I ruined that happiness for her. I ruined so much for being threatened by things that really don't matter in the long run. So I lost the best love I'd ever had because she saw how young and immature I was. She loved me intensely but it's not enough if you can't accept and respect the choices she's made in the past even if they were poor choices. You can't just pretend to respect them. It has to be sincere. Otherwise you will resent her forever. ps. about penis size, thats just life man. You don't have to be huge to hit the right spots. Edited October 27, 2013 by AShogunNamedMarcus
Author JOJOJO2 Posted October 27, 2013 Author Posted October 27, 2013 Thanks for the reply Yes i totally understand, before this woman I did not care about those things, any sexual encounter I had I did not feel the need to be threatened by penis size or anything like that. Ever since meeting this woman I have changed as a person and this is the confusing part about it. After splitting up from my ex of 5 years I lost lots of weight started working out started to look good and I gained so much confidence and I was happy life was turning around for me, I was getting attention off women which made me feel really good. I met this woman fell in love and now I am a mess! I have being completely honest with her and told her how I feel about everything and that I want us to work out. I get jealous over the most stupidest things ever! Like at the moment she is having work done in her bathrooms in the home by a guy who does tiling... she has a Tuesday off work, and I am at work and I start thinking stupid things and then start worrying and causing problems. she has never gave me any reasons not to trust her.
WhiteButton Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 Dont worry to much abut her pass ex size man. If she is telling you that she is happy with you believe her. The thing is you are worrying and creating problems about something that you can not change. That was her past and what are you going to do now? Try to get a sergery and get a bigger gun? If you were not hiting it right, and she did not enjoy it she would have bailed by now. So i would not worry about it. Having said that, i would cauction you to be more carefull going forward with STD's man. That could have very well been HIV instead of chlamydia. Be careful!! Good luck!
Author JOJOJO2 Posted October 27, 2013 Author Posted October 27, 2013 Thanks Yeah she says she is happy with me and i satisfy her more than enough. sometimes think it is bs, I think I am just broken emotionally lol We had the discussion and I told her something was not right down there and didn't feel right but she told me not to worry about it. she then went for a check up regarding a smear and decided to get a full check up whilst she was there and it turned out to be chlamydia which did ruin my opinion of her but I liked her so much and stuck with it. Why do I still hold on to all this stuff? why can I not move past it?
AShogunNamedMarcus Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 (edited) Why do I still hold on to all this stuff? why can I not move past it? Because you still feel threatened by it. Try to look at her perspective objectively. As though you did not know her in person. Yes it's an eff-up, but does it make her unworthy of respect from a decent man? Forgiving doesn't mean you have to like what happened, but you will be haunted until you can forgive. Edited October 27, 2013 by AShogunNamedMarcus
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