Med12 Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 After 4 months of NC my ex gf saw me in a coffee shop we used to buy coffee together and sent me an e-mail 2 days ago asking " How was my coffee etc." Yesterday I met her in person and we talked about our relationship. She got really upset and started crying. She said she is very sorry for everything she has done to me. I don't understand why after 4 months of NC she is crying and telling me all these. I believe she is very depressed and seeing me again after 4 months wasn't easy for her. This morning I received the following email from her. There is a lot going on in my life at the moment and seeing you again made me realize how wrong I acted towards you, which you didn’t deserve. It made me upset that I put you through that, when I was the one at fault. There’s a lot going on with my life at the moment. Who knows, maybe it was all wrong timing – how and when we met…I am grateful though that I met you, you made me realize theres more to me and that there are decent guys out there…I felt awkward yesterday. It just didn’t feel right. Do you think she still has feelings for me? After receiving above email I sent her an e mail a few hours ago. I want to know what she wants. If she doesn't want to reconcile, I want closure from her and walk away. Here is my e-mail. I don’t know what to say at this point in time. I totally understand your family issues and don’t have any intension to put any stress on you. Every word you read in this email is nothing but the truth, just simple old fashioned honesty. I know sometimes we can be confused, we are human. We can do wrong things in our life, afterwards we realize…why I even did that. It’s all learning process. I know you need time and space to sort out your family issues and I respect that. You have shown me many possibilities and challenges in life and many great things. You have made me smile, you have made me happy, you have made me sad…above all you have made me love you..and that’s what life is..and I will never forget this. I just want to you to be happy in life…and if by us not working out makes you feel happier, so be it. After seeing you in coffee shop and the way you looked at me triggered lots of good memories we had together. I am not here to stress you emotionally but I strongly feel that we still have feelings for each other and it won’t disappear any time soon. Not sure if you can say it today or sometime near future - all I want to hear from you is to say “ I don’t see a future between us, I wish you all the very best”. This will honestly help me to move on in my life. I like to finish this email saying that “ if you truly love someone, you need to be willing to set them free and…I think you know the rest of the saying goes. Take care I just like to know your thoughts about her email and my response please. What to do if she says NO. I guess I go NC again. Thanks
Assasda Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 She doesnt want to be with you. I dont know why you're still begging for it, just leave it alone
Author Med12 Posted October 27, 2013 Author Posted October 27, 2013 She doesnt want to be with you. I dont know why you're still begging for it, just leave it alone Thanks Assasda. It seems that i have no chance. I will go NC again and see how it goes. I didn't think i was begging in my email. Should I send her an email saying goodbye or leave it as is?
Author Med12 Posted October 27, 2013 Author Posted October 27, 2013 She was the one broke up with me. Any other thoughts please. I am not trying to give my self any false hope. I like to know what to do and what is my chance please?
conf Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 you made me realize theres more to me and that there are decent guys out there…I felt awkward yesterday. It just didn’t feel right. I think that's your answer :S
Author Med12 Posted October 27, 2013 Author Posted October 27, 2013 Thanks. I still don't understand why she contacted me after 4 months. I hope i will get my closure and walk away...
Survivor12 Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 Sorry to say but she contacted you because she wanted/needed someone to feed her ego and knew that she could depend on you to do it. Unfortunately, your adoration is all that she wants from you. I will add that it sounds as though she does like you and would like to reciprocate your feelings for her but simply doesn't. As we all know, it's impossible to "make" ourselves feel an attraction. In fact, trying to force it often results in feelings of resentment (which may be why she treated you poorly when you were together). My advice is to walk away and wait for someone who doesn't have to work at manufacturing feelings for you--and, hopefully, when you do, you feel the same about them! Good luck!
Author Med12 Posted October 27, 2013 Author Posted October 27, 2013 Sorry to say but she contacted you because she wanted/needed someone to feed her ego and knew that she could depend on you to do it. Unfortunately, your adoration is all that she wants from you. I will add that it sounds as though she does like you and would like to reciprocate your feelings for her but simply doesn't. As we all know, it's impossible to "make" ourselves feel an attraction. In fact, trying to force it often results in feelings of resentment (which may be why she treated you poorly when you were together). My advice is to walk away and wait for someone who doesn't have to work at manufacturing feelings for you--and, hopefully, when you do, you feel the same about them! Good luck! Thanks Survivor12. She hasn't sent me a response yet. If I don't hear anything from her in a week time, I may send her another email saying don't contact me in future. She's depressed and I can't deal with her anymore.
Fufu Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 If you are hurting now... my advice is not to reply because if she did not reply you, you may get even more hurt. If she replies you more and it's about the same thing again, you will also get hurt.
Author Med12 Posted October 27, 2013 Author Posted October 27, 2013 If you are hurting now... my advice is not to reply because if she did not reply you, you may get even more hurt. If she replies you more and it's about the same thing again, you will also get hurt. Thanks Fufu. Agreed, if she doesn't reply I will leave it and move on and don't talk to her again - NC. She is confused and doesn't know what she wants in her life. Never ending issues and problems...
Author Med12 Posted October 27, 2013 Author Posted October 27, 2013 I feel like, I made a mistake by replying her email. See what happens...
Assasda Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 You did make a mistake replying to the email. You dont need to send any "goodbye" emails at all, because it is already done. You need to put yourself in her shoes, and think how pitiful you would look sending a goodbye email, after I didnt even respond to your first email. She is not better than anyone else. She is not better than you. Just try to see different women
Author Med12 Posted October 29, 2013 Author Posted October 29, 2013 My ex sent me a text last night to say this. "For a long time I genuinely wanted to apologize to you for my actions and the way I treated you. Over the last few months I have had a lot of time think about who I am and it didn't sit well with me that I hurt you in the process of trying to find my self again. Yes we had good times and I am grateful for meeting you because you restored my faith in people. I honestly don't see a future for us. Please accept this." Don't know why but I felt really good after receiving her text and have no intention to do anything with her in future. I feel like sending her this - " I agree with your decision and really believe this is the best thing for both of us." YES/NO - Any thoughts please
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