arose Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 Here's the deal. I have been dating this guy for about 2 years. He is perfect for me in almost every way, and i have found myself thinking many times that he could be the one. When we are together i couldn't he happier. The problem is that throughout the whole relationship i have found myself feeling like i want or need more out of the relationship than he does. We see each other about once a week on average. If i had it my way though i would see him a few times a week, or at least spend the night together more. (we do every so often). This leads me to constantly feel that he doesn't feel as strongly for me as i do for him (which i don't think is true, but it's still a horrible feeling) I don't want to force anything though either. Do i give him some time and hope eventually we get on the same page, or say goodbye and hope that i can find someone just as great as him that has the same needs as me?
Mz_sassy_77 Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 My EX always wanted more from me then I could give. The relationship deteriorated because of it. We never talked about it though. It just festered until it became such a big issue it ended us. If you really love him you need to sit down and have a discussion about it. Dont let what happened to me happen to you. I feel if we had discussed our issues we could of worked through them. sitting back hoping it will change wont make it so. If you sit down and talk about it you both may decide its not going to work and you want different things. Otherwise he may have no idea you are wanting more and may want the same but doesn't know how to bring it up. 1
funnylilfrog Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 I'm sorry but if he's not suggesting to meet more often, he probably isn't that into you. Once a week is very little especially after two years, unless you live far apart and are talking on the phone every day or so. If you have to initiate the talk, then most likely the guy doesn't feel the same.
KatZee Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 Uh, I'm confused. It sounds to me like you've NEVER communicated your needs/wants to him. You've been with him for TWO YEARS and you can't find courage to say, "I love you and I've love if I saw you more often" ? You also don't have to wait until he's the initiator of plans. How about YOU call him up and ask him to get together? Seeing someone once a week after being together 2 years sounds a bit ridiculous. If you've never said ANYTHING to him, he may think you're perfectly fine only seeing him once a week, and probably thinks this is what you want/need from the relationship. You would just walk before even opening your mouth to say something? 2
ponchsox Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 If he doesn't want to see you more than once a week, that's a problem. That is a red flag that your relationship won't end well. Eject and move on.
JRaynolds Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 my girlfriend just broke up with me after we dated for almost 4 years because of this issue. She wanted more than i gave her. She started complaining about it about 2 years into the relationship but i never thought it was serious. I just thought its normal and things are find. She was feeling more distant with time until she finally broke up with me about a month ago. And only now i realized that what i had to do to make her happy, but its too late.
Author arose Posted October 27, 2013 Author Posted October 27, 2013 Thank you everyone for your replies. Katzee, i have mentioned it to him in the past that i would like it if we could see each other more during the week. And he has made somewhat of an effort to make that happen. We will have dinner or something together every so often. But it still feels like i am pulling teeth to get more time with him. We are both extremely busy, but i'm sure other busy couples find time together, even if its just being around each other while they do their day to day stuff. So that shouldn't be an excuse. I think i'm going to talk to him about it when i see him today.
aybc123 Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 I was about to say it sounds fine everyone has these doubts sometimes just work through it until i read that you only see each other once a week. Unless there is a very specific reason for this (you live 100+ miles away) then i think you have a problem. Seeing someone who is nearby once a week is not a relationship, it's dating. After two years you both should be wanting much more. Talk to him about it first obviously but if it doesnt get resolved in a way you want then move on and find something better. 1
Never Again Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 Communication. Be overt. Tell him it's a potential deal breaker. All couples have "lulls", but it's important to not let it stay that way. A small part of why I feel my relationship fell apart was because of this, except there was no communication. We saw each other 2-3 times a week for the first 8 months, and then tapered down to once a week for 2 months when things got crazy busy. I never thought it was an issue because we had built a connection. As long as I talked with her everyday, I was comfortable seeing her once a week. Now, my relationship was much shorter than yours, but I can tell you that I was very into this girl. I'm just independent. It doesn't mean I wouldn't have given her what she wanted/needed if she had only told me. You cannot beat around the bush, be nice about it or be subtle. Sometimes people are oblivious until you hit them in the face with a sledge hammer. It's hammer time. 2
Author arose Posted October 27, 2013 Author Posted October 27, 2013 lol Pfenixphire! IT IS HAMMER TIME! for sure.
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