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Ex came to my house again today. Why does this make me feel sick?

melell

By melell
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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melell Established Member

melell

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Together 8 years. Bu 5 months. Most nc.

I don't want to get back together.

I don't want to know him.

I don't want to think about him.

 

I am doing so well. I feel good about myself and what I am doing. Genuinely happy.

 

My ex turns up again today, someone else answers the door and tells him I am not here, he leaves.

That's fine.

But that is all it takes to make me feel sick to my stomach. It has been 5 hours since he came here, and I still feel sick.

 

When he tried to come back the other week he told me that he feels depressed every time he thinks of me, and does everything he can to distract himself. That he misses me more and more every day etc etc. I have felt guilty since him saying that.

 

I know I don't want him, I barely think of him, so why am I left feeling like this when he shows up?

 

It doesn't boost my ego, or make me feel like 'haha I win', it just makes me feel like I am going to vomit.

 

Sorry for the long post. I have been spending most of the day waiting for this feeling to go, frustrating.

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melell Established Member

melell

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Someone make me feel better

mtnbiker3000 Established Member

mtnbiker3000

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It's extremely difficult to just 'turn off' emotions for someone who has been such a large part of your life for so long. Don't beat yourself up. It's just part of the process and completely normal. You're doing fine. Keep up the good work ;)

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BigGirlPantiesOn Established Member

BigGirlPantiesOn

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You're not responsible for his feelings. He is a human, a man. His heartbreak is teaching him how to do better for the next woman. Let him learn. Pain is essential for his evolution.

 

It's not about you. You are healing and moving on. Your survivors guilt will do neither of you any good. Love him as a friend from afar and pray for his growth. he will get through it. So will you.

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oracle Established Member

oracle

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Roller Coaster rides make most people feel sick..

 

Its natural, don't beat yourself up

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aybc123 Established Member

aybc123

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probably because you dont want him to be hurting but there's nothing you can do because you just want it to be over and done and closed. give it time you're through the worst just got to keep going.

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Mz_sassy_77 Established Member

Mz_sassy_77

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I can relate. I only need to hear my EX's name from mutual friends and I feel sick. I do believe that in time it gets better. In the future I hope to not feel anything and just be ambivalent about us and our relationship. Think the only thing that makes this better is time unfortunately.

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melell Established Member

melell

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It really is no fun at all. Thnx everyone.

hurts2death Established Member

hurts2death

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we could go for a ride or a coffee or whatever...but you are on the other side of the planet...

 

dont feel sorry cause it will make you vulnerable...

 

next he comes just talk and explain to him ....maybe he will understand not to bother you....

 

-john

 

Someone make me feel better
Mariposa10 Established Member

Mariposa10

Posted
Posted

How are you doing, OP?

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