Jump to content

Dating A Single Mom


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted (edited)
Best advice I can give... and this is coming from a 51 year-old guy who was once married to a single mother, is to avoid them. They're usually nothing but trouble.

 

Plus, you have three strikes going against you right off the bat. The first is that single mothers always put their children first, and you end up in last place. Second, many single mothers are essentially married to their children so that they really don't have room for a man in their lives... despite their protestations to the contrary. Third, children usually resent their stepparents, especially if they harbour fantasies about 'mummy and daddy getting back together'. You'd be surprised at the number of marriages that break up because of step-child - step-parent issues.

 

The only time it ever might make sense for a man to get involved with a single mother is when any of the following conditions apply:

 

1) The man has children of his own, and the woman doesn't mind creating a blended family.

 

2) The children are truly up and out of the house and on their own - or very close to being so (i.e. within a year or so).

 

The danger is that if you marry a single mother, or cohabit with her long enough, you could end up getting stuck with support payments that will mean you are supporting another man's children. Could you handle that for the next 18 - 25 years? Having your future foreclosed?

 

The thing to be aware of is that many single mothers are behind the eight ball financially and often seek out men who will support them. They often rationalize their actions away by saying they want a partner, etc. but in the end it often comes down to money.

 

In short, don't do it. You're young and have lots of time ahead of you. I'd kill to be 24 again... but with the same wisdom that I have now. Since the two are mutually exclusive concepts, (i.e. wisdom and youth) even if time travel was possible, it ain't gonna happen.

 

I am slightly offended that you think we're trouble and other things in your said comment.

 

I am 27 single with a 6 year old that just came out of a 5 year relationship firstly I was very sweet and put him first so many times my family disliked how much of the money I spent on being sweet to him when I really couldnt spare it, I always did something special for him at least once a day, also my kid adored him they were the best of friends and when it ended he and her were both sad she still mentions him sometimes but I always kept it friend status in no point did I ever force or pressure him to take up fatherly responcibilitys I only requested he befriend her, when we broke up I did not go after him for any forms of payment for he does not owe us that just for dating me.

 

At no point in our relationship did I ever ask him to help me pay for my things if he did it was on his own, he never once complained about me being a parent all I wanted was his love.

And if you're wondering why we broke up I chalk it up too me just being his first gf and him not knowing he had it so good.

 

Yes it would be nice to have finacial help one day but I have always been able with just me maybe not the richist but my kids very happy with all I have to offer.

Edited by Omei
×
×
  • Create New...