Rosehip Posted October 26, 2013 Posted October 26, 2013 Long story short.Been with him for 18 years married 8. This last year or so our relationship has gone downhill,lots of reasons why but lack of communication by him & me being on strong painkillers for back injury. Our relationship was pretty bad. so he left at the end of July I let him without begging or pleading as I could see there was no point,he'd made his mind up. Even though it broke my heart. I started no contact with him,even before I found this forum, as it seemed the best thing to do. I saw him 2 weeks after he left where he confirmed he was not coming back,he came to get some post so I told him to get his clothes out of the house whilst I was at work which he did. He left me as message on my phone saying he was sorry then I got a text the week later to say if I needed anything to give him a ring.I ignored these. I went on a last minute holiday end of September with a couple of girlfriends & felt much better. Whilst I was away,he did not know I had gone away,he came to the house & then contacted me the week after to come & see me. He came & was all over me but I played it cool,just being upbeat etc. He told me how awful it was being in the house & how he missed me. We arranged for him to move some things from the outside of house & when he came he asked if we could go out for dinner. We went out the next night & we ended up kissing & cuddling,he told me how much he missed me & I stupidly told him the same & that I loved him. We came back to the house but both agreed for him to go & not stay. He then cooled off again,so I left him alone. saw him a couple of more times that week & was trying to be upbeat,no relationship talk. Did not hear from him for a week then he text me to see how I was as I had to go to doctors for some tests. Told him I was fine,we texted each other a couple of nice text,him being the one to send last text. He came to see me on Thursday & asked when could we go out again.So we arranged for tonight,Saturday, but I said I would leave it up to him where we went & to let me know. So I have waited all day for him to let me know about tonight & he has not got in touch. Breaking my heart all over again. It feels like he is messing with my head,which of course he is. We are nearly 3 months down the line & I feel like I am back to the first day as he has done this to me. He obviously doesn't know what he wants. Why do this to me? I will go back to no contact but cannot cope with this roller coaster of emotion. Is there still a chance for us? I have to protect myself from this so what do I do if he contacts me again?
thompkevin Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 Good decision going on no contact again. When he contacts you again, don't reply. However, if you want to get back together, let him know that you want commitment or you are moving on. Be straight forward and tell him that you are willing to give him another chance but if you do, you both should be committed to make it work. If not, then you are ready to move on
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