jdc695 Posted October 26, 2013 Posted October 26, 2013 My gf and I were together for 1 year, she was my first. When we started dating I was in college. I graduated and worked 60 hours a week for about 6 months. She always hated how much I worked and said I didn't try, to which I told her I do care I'm just very busy. Long story short I moved back in w/ my parents for a few months until I found my current job. Just before I started she told me she had been talking to another guy, strictly talking nothing physical. We agreed we loved each other (first time we said this) and wanted to be together. Three weeks later she breaks up w/me over a text message when I was in Florida and wouldn't talk to me OUT OF NOWHERE. Before I left she loved me and said she didn't want me to leave. The breakup was ugly and I really tried to salvage it, we even met up after..we were all over each other and happy! But the next day it fell apart again and now she wants nothing to do with me. She said "you didn't care enough and now that I found someone who does you want it to work. It's too late." After that she text me saying she made a terrible mistake. When I responded the next day she never text me back. That was 1 month ago. WILL SHE COME BACK? I know this is pathetic but I can't get her out of my head, I'm so in love with her. I feel sick all day every day and just don't get it. Thanks if you actually read all this, I really could use and outsiders point of view. Will I ever see her/hear from her again?
Gooch1980 Posted October 26, 2013 Posted October 26, 2013 Hey brotha. I feel for ya. Going through the same thing myself for about a week after a 2 yr stint with my now ex. I'm in my early 30's. The good news it seems for you is that you're relatively young so you have plenty of time to hurt, find your niche again and then meet others. I know it's cliche and everyone is going to say the same thing but you really WILL get your head out of the clouds sooner or later and the relationship you were in will be nothing more than a badass battle scar. It's hard man and it's just so unreal after you've been through so much with a woman that they can just say 'hey, I'm out' but that's life and even though you may not want to hear it, the same rigmarole may happen to you yet again. Just worry about the things you can control and the things you can't will eventually work out. Just whatever you do, don't show her how much you miss her etc. Go M.I.A. and make her subconsciously think that she made the mistake. By texting/calling/emailing her, she'll keep telling herself that she did the right thing but NEVER EXPECT to hear from her again. I know it's hard, I'm in full no contact mode myself and man is it a bitch. The irony of it all is that when you may finally be completely over her, she'll find a way to make an appearance. Good luck to you, stay strong and embrace the healing. It will get better day by day but these first few weeks are going to be hell and then some.
Assasda Posted October 26, 2013 Posted October 26, 2013 Why would you want her back? I feel like youre leaving something out, its never, out of nowhere. were you jealous, needy? Look for other girls, this girl doesnt deserve anything
Author jdc695 Posted October 27, 2013 Author Posted October 27, 2013 Why would you want her back? I feel like youre leaving something out, its never, out of nowhere. were you jealous, needy? Look for other girls, this girl doesnt deserve anything Not jealous/needy at all. The complete opposite. She insists I didn't care enough, which is bs. I think she cheated on me, but I don't know. I really don't know what happened and that's what kills me. We got along SO well, I don't ever click with women the way we clicked. Then literally in 4 days she went from "I love you" to "I can't do this anymore". She keeps contradicting herself...I finally just gave up trying to talk to her and figure it out. I care bc what we had was awesome, or at least she pretended it was. I just had to work a lot, my life had to change after college
Author jdc695 Posted October 28, 2013 Author Posted October 28, 2013 Working a lot makes you more attractive to girls. They like busy guys. Her talking to a guy nothing physical was a very bad sign. Try to move on. It really sucks when a girl just cuts you out of her life like this. Had it happen to me once with my first gf when I was 22. It was really hard. I look back and laugh about it now though. You'll be ok just hang in there. Ya not with her. She always hated that I wasn't around..but I had to work. She claims I always blew her off and didn't care, she's a student and doesn't get what a 60 hour week entails.. This had been a problem for months. She's been cheated on a lot and always thought I was cheating on her even though I wasn't..then SHE does this lol I guess I'm just not good with needy/high maintenance women. I really did love her.. I don't even think she believes that though. She hated that I had to work bc we couldn't hang out all the time, things were different when we met, my life was different in college. I just feel used and lost. Everyone has been really helpful thanks again for letting me vent
Chi townD Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 Vent away! But, if and when she reaches out to you, ignore it and re-read this. "you didn't care enough and now that I found someone who does you want it to work. It's too late." She's with someone else. Therefore, she has absolutely NO REASON to be contacting you.
llaura Posted October 28, 2013 Posted October 28, 2013 I just got out of a relationship that wasn't as large on the spectrum as yours, but my partner would do the same thing. One day they're all over you, the next something sets them off and they want nothing to do with you, and then they realize it was all just a mistake. Here's the deal- Stay out. It may physically hurt so ridiculously badly, but would you want to marry this person and then have them do the same thing down the line? You may want her back now because it hurts and she's suddenly gone from your life- but really think about it long and hard. Do you want to be with a person who one day says they want you, and the next day says they don't? Do you want to put yourself through the heartbreak of them doing it another time? It sucks, I understand, but look at the heartbreak you're going through right now- do you want that to happen again?
Author jdc695 Posted October 29, 2013 Author Posted October 29, 2013 I just got out of a relationship that wasn't as large on the spectrum as yours, but my partner would do the same thing. One day they're all over you, the next something sets them off and they want nothing to do with you, and then they realize it was all just a mistake. Here's the deal- Stay out. It may physically hurt so ridiculously badly, but would you want to marry this person and then have them do the same thing down the line? You may want her back now because it hurts and she's suddenly gone from your life- but really think about it long and hard. Do you want to be with a person who one day says they want you, and the next day says they don't? Do you want to put yourself through the heartbreak of them doing it another time? It sucks, I understand, but look at the heartbreak you're going through right now- do you want that to happen again? Ya I know, it's just been hard to believe how she can go from loving me to not loving me/leaving me in 4 days..blows my mind. But it's slowly getting better..I'm just not the silver-tongued Casanova that every dude in the bar seems to be so it's scary letting go of someone who truly had me fooled. I'm realizing slowly I don't even know who she is...the last year was a huge lie at my expense. I don't think I could take her back now even if she did try
Sugarkane Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 Sounds odd. You graduated and started working full time, sounds pretty normal and understable to me! What were you supposed to do, not look for work after graduating? Sounds like she's making excuses.
ayudorama Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 I've experienced something similar to this before, and honestly, aside from being so confused beyond comprehension how someone can go back and forth like that so easily within a short span of time; I learned that it is better to let that person go, even if our brains cannot make sense of what this person is really all about. Personally for me, clarity only reached me many months after the separation happened - you can never really understand or know if what you felt (love, affection, wanting to grow old together) for your ex is reciprocated the same way in which your ex feels towards you. It's best not to hold on to words and promises, they're transient and really just vessels, but what holds the most weight are their actions. Sigh. It sometimes makes no sense to me how people can change so quickly, but it's reality.
Salvatore85 Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 You're a good hard-working guy and she left you for it. Don't worry though, the next girl you'll meet will be incredibly happy that your ex was a moron. Move on man, you deserve better!
Author jdc695 Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 It's been 3 months and I'm still really upset. It's interfering with my job/social life. She text me one night and said she made a horrible mistake; that guy left her on the side of the highway at 3am...she said she regretted leaving me etc. when I text her the next day and asked if she meant it she never replied. That was over a month ago. I'm so lost. When will this crap get better? I've really tried to forget about it but i just can't shake it. I can't keep living like this...I'm not a depressed person normally but I've hit lows I didn't even know existed. So pathetic
TanTry Posted December 7, 2013 Posted December 7, 2013 I am really sorry you are feeling this way Have you tried going full NC? Maybe if you do it may help you more If she texts you dont reply! It sets you back I am sorry im not much help as I am 1 week into my BU so not doing well atall But keep posting What have you been up to the kast 3 months to work on yourself?
Author jdc695 Posted December 7, 2013 Author Posted December 7, 2013 I am really sorry you are feeling this way Have you tried going full NC? Maybe if you do it may help you more If she texts you dont reply! It sets you back I am sorry im not much help as I am 1 week into my BU so not doing well atall But keep posting What have you been up to the kast 3 months to work on yourself? I've just been trying to focus on work. I've been dating around and I've been kind of seeing this one girl (nothing serious just having a good time). But when it's all said and done I keep thinking about the ex. I have been doing the nc thing..she hit me up. You're right though it just set me back when she text me. I just feel like I lost the one, ya know? and it was hard to ignore when she contacted me. But you're right I need to ignore her if she does it again
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