Lost_Dragon Posted October 26, 2013 Posted October 26, 2013 My need to know she would never leave me, Caused me to put her through hell to see what would happen. I have the answer now. Now I know. She is gone.
lindsay1990 Posted October 26, 2013 Posted October 26, 2013 My need to know she would never leave me, Caused me to put her through hell to see what would happen. I have the answer now. Now I know. She is gone. It's okay, we all do similar things at time. Maybe you could elaborate on what happened? I felt very much like that at the beginning of my break-up but slowly started to realize there was a reason why I started to need more reassurance. Granted, fishing for it negatively wasn't the ideal way to do it (could have fared a lot better had I 'pushed' proactively or just calmed down and see what would happen) but I remind myself that: 1. I was coming from a sincere place. i.e. no matter how immature it was, it wasn't just to create drama or conflict but because I sincerly didn't feel secure and wanted to feel safer in my relationship 2. At any given point in time, everyone (ourselves included) are doing the best we can we the tools and knowledge we have at that point 3. Like someone wrote me in another thread, when you are in love there is no such thing as a dumpable offense, so they would have stuck with us if they had loved us in the way we wanted all along. Not that they had to, but it's what we were striving for I think. Every situation is different but it's worth a thought 2
Author Lost_Dragon Posted October 26, 2013 Author Posted October 26, 2013 It's okay, we all do similar things at time. Maybe you could elaborate on what happened? I felt very much like that at the beginning of my break-up but slowly started to realize there was a reason why I started to need more reassurance. Granted, fishing for it negatively wasn't the ideal way to do it (could have fared a lot better had I 'pushed' proactively or just calmed down and see what would happen) but I remind myself that: 1. I was coming from a sincere place. i.e. no matter how immature it was, it wasn't just to create drama or conflict but because I sincerly didn't feel secure and wanted to feel safer in my relationship 2. At any given point in time, everyone (ourselves included) are doing the best we can we the tools and knowledge we have at that point 3. Like someone wrote me in another thread, when you are in love there is no such thing as a dumpable offense, so they would have stuck with us if they had loved us in the way we wanted all along. Not that they had to, but it's what we were striving for I think. Every situation is different but it's worth a thought Thank you. Yes, I needed more reassurance towards the end. Not getting it made me push more. I had my doubts for a long time unable to accept them. She would cry saying she would kill herself, or go live on the streets whenever I would try to leave her. Hang ups and ignoring her until I knew she was moving on. How could she do this? Why isn't she fighting for me? She made me miserable. Why would I want to keep her? Am I doing all of this for me or for her? Is she the one testing me all along? Did I fail her test? Does she need me to chase her? Have I made a big mistake by not fighting harder? So many unanswered questions it all seems unfinished.
Lizrd3000 Posted October 26, 2013 Posted October 26, 2013 Listen, love isn't about testing each other's love. I was very insecure myself and she'd never show me actions showing how much she loved me, but I sucked it up. she was the one testing me in the end, and I got sick of it. (she tried to make me jealous mutiple times) which made me even more insecure. I've never tested my ex though, I think it's the most immature way to handle things. learn from this and move on. you don't make your loved one go through hell and back just because you're insecure, you deal with the insecurity yourself.
Lizrd3000 Posted October 26, 2013 Posted October 26, 2013 Before you get back with her by chance, or have a relationship with ANYONE, you have to work on your insecurity, you can't have a healthy relationship if you're so insecure you have to ''test'' your love. don't get me wrong, I know where you're coming from, I myself was very insecure in my relationship, but I've learned from it and I'm working on my insecurities. don't let this get you down, you'll find better love down the road, as long as you keep making progress for yourself as a person. Keep going
Author Lost_Dragon Posted October 26, 2013 Author Posted October 26, 2013 My mistake was ever taking her back. I was too passive. She played me like a drum. She changed me into a monster but I allowed it. I'm glad its over. The lies are over and I don't have to be the way I was when I was with her. That person was not me. Thanks for the words of advice everyone! 1
Lizrd3000 Posted October 26, 2013 Posted October 26, 2013 Sounds familair! high 5! You'll miss her, but you know it's for the best 1
Author Lost_Dragon Posted October 26, 2013 Author Posted October 26, 2013 Sounds familair! high 5! You'll miss her, but you know it's for the best Bro fist bro! LOL!
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