He needs 'me' time?

[J191]

I was dating my ex for currently 3 years. I am 23 and he is 26. We did not live together as I was studying but about 5 nights out the week he would stay over at mine. We had a pretty good relationship Although certain factors really annoyed me such as his job wasn't brilliant so I did have to contribute with money more that I should. But I suppose when I were jobless he often helped me out. although mine was only for a short period of time.

 

Another minor issue was that he had a daughter, don't get me wrong she is a beautiful child but as I have never grown up with children I found this hard, but I tried my best.

 

Anyway the main reason I decided to break up was to focus on my studies and felt like we was going through a rough patch of a few and didn't want to deal with the stress, I often had anxiety about money and other issues so I decided to end the relationship.

 

I did it the cowardly way Changing my number and blocking him from social networking sites. I felt like this was the only way to move on.

 

After a horrible 5 weeks of crying none stop and hardly eating at all, I realised I had made the biggest mistake of my life.

 

I started seeing him everywhere which was heart breaking. I had to eventually get in touch as he had items which he had left at mine.

So I messaged him and after a while it got on to the convo, he told me that the break up was killing him, and that he just wanted me every time he saw me and that he loved me so much, afterwards we kept speaking but to a minimal.

 

one night he got drunk and said he wanted to spend the night together, I had also been out myself so I didn't refuse. It was a really emotional night as I had never seen him so upset, and I was very upset Also, but It just felt right and all the emotions had got even stronger.

 

After that night we have kept in regular contact and discussed getting back together.

The only issue is he wants to take things slow and have 'me' time. I'm just totally confused! I want nothing more then to go back to how we was, I understand I hurt him and deeply regret it. Just things seem to be going at a snails pace at the moment, I just haven't gone through this situation before.

 

I just want to see him so badly. It's been about 1 week since we spent the night together, I haven't seen him yet, am I just being selfish/inpatient?

 

I just know things will be better this time as he now has a very good job, he seems to have really pulled him self together. And I have realised myself how much I care.

 

Thanks for listening guys x

[leafguy]

Take your time with it.

 

Keep in mind you were the one that ended it, so if you want to have him back, it is going to be on his terms and you also need to show that you genuinely want him.

 

Hes likely very hurt, as are you, but he also has to get over the initial resentment and bitterness that you left. I am not sure 5 weeks is a long enough time for that.

 

Just take it slow and try not to push him