Things I would've done differently after breakup

[Sugarkane]

-Put off dating longer

-Quit my job, as they refused to make me full time after several years of working there. But were happy to make new people full time

-Not taken the high road with mutual friends. It made no difference

-Gone travelling while I could

-Gone to more meetups

-Kept my own friends, not be friendly to people who would eventually side with the cheater

-Gone to the police when the rebound was harassing me

-Told the rebounds girlfriend or whatever she was, I was going to the police

[aybc123]

- Wouldn't have been convinced to stay best friends, or friends at all

- Would've made sure i handled my ****, at least around her so she didnt know how much i was hurting/ didn't get pushed away by me

- Would've taken longer to start dating, doing it too early is just pointless and has made me feel worse

- Would've made sure i set up my 'stupid text to send dont do it' vetting system before i sent the first stupid text.

[Dinozzo925]

-Traveled

-Put off dating

-Kick her to the curb as soon as I found out

- Started NC as soon as I found out

[theonlyjuan]

- Wouldn't have punched a lamp post when I was drunk and annoyed.

 

Other than that I actually did everything really well. Quite please with myself for picking myself up and moving on so quick

[ponchsox]

Wouldn't have texted her of out of anger.

 

Should have started NC immediately.

[faithfully]

Would have gone NC straight rather than beg, cry, not sleep or eat.

 

NC is the wayy

[Lizrd3000]

-Should've went NC instead of helping her out with her ''depression''.

[Mariposa10]

-Wouldn't have sent him an email saying, "I will always wait for you." (I still can't believe I said that when I knew he was interested in another girl. That only shows my mental state, everything after the breakup was pretty much a blur because I was not thinking rationally at all!

-I would've distanced myself from him sooner.

[sambo77]

Just out of interest, those of you who say you'd put off dating...what makes you say that? Am interested to know?

[Simon Phoenix]

Just out of interest, those of you who say you'd put off dating...what makes you say that? Am interested to know?

 

Dating too early, or hooking up too early, can be detrimental to the healing process. It's way too easy to compare to the ex and usually at that point, you have your ex on a pedestal. That's what happened to me. I hooked up several times right after my break to try to force her out of my mind/prove that I was a catch and it just made thoughts of her come back stronger. Kind of like a really annoying itch. I dated a few girls several months later and while the reactions weren't as severe, I still found myself comparing the women I was dating to my ex, which did set me back a little bit.

 

I'm sure dating/hooking up can help some people, but I think a lot react the same way I did.

[sambo77]

Dating too early, or hooking up too early, can be detrimental to the healing process. It's way too easy to compare to the ex and usually at that point, you have your ex on a pedestal. That's what happened to me. I hooked up several times right after my break to try to force her out of my mind/prove that I was a catch and it just made thoughts of her come back stronger. Kind of like a really annoying itch. I dated a few girls several months later and while the reactions weren't as severe, I still found myself comparing the women I was dating to my ex, which did set me back a little bit.

 

I'm sure dating/hooking up can help some people, but I think a lot react the same way I did.

 

That makes good sense Simon. I was mulling over getting back in the game for the same reasons you mentioned. But the thought makes me nauseous, which ain't a good sign.

 

Guess fully detaching, remembering who TF you are/were outside of your ex is relatively useful groundwork to put you in a position to start again healthily.