contacting ex after 5 months?

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

Actually that is working out. I decided not to surprise her but tell her upfront so she can prepare if needed, so not as planned as it always goes, but something good is already coming out of it

 

'If they want you back bad enough', really ? Because it is the legal right of the dumpee to expect the dumper to come back ? Just by going NC instead of for example adressing what according to the dumper were 'issues'?

 

Seriously...

 

lol oh to be naive...

 

 

There is no addressing when you guys are broken up. You guys are NOT a couple. Look dude, SHE BROKE UP WITH YOU. If there were issues DURING the relationship, she could have came to you and fixed them WITH you. She can say that she still loves you and that things are covered in anger or whatever, but the fact is she chose to leave you. If she loved you as much as you claim she does, she would NOT take the risk of breaking up WITH you in the fear that you would be gone. People who are in love dont do that. The talking you are doing now with her is not helping. NO one has moved forward in this nor has anyone really learned ANYTHING. This doesnt just come out of left field. She HAS thought about this. Words are just words. She can tell you EVERYTHING under the sun (you would be shocked from what ex's have said and not said that turned out to be untrue) but actions speak my friend. You are almost refusing to see this, and trust me, this is NOT the first time I've seen a story with this. On the contrary, I've had close friends with the EXACT same situation and SEVERAL people on here as well. All of them end the same.

 

Look, you can get upset that people say NC NC NC like were some robots or whatever. You can get upset at all of that....but the fact remains that talking in circles and keep rehashing stuff ONLY leads to a deeper tear. NC clears YOUR mind and helps you actually see thinks without biased and rose colored glasses. She MADE the decision so RESPECT it and stay away.

 

How is something good coming out of it?

 

ANYWAYS, to the OP (no threadjacking), I still think its wise to stay away currently. If things changed on her end about how she feels, I can assure you that she would let you know. Think of it this way: If YOU were the one who broke up with her and didnt talk to her for 5 months, you obviously care about her and would DEFIANTLY contact her and make no bones about it am I right? Same thing here. If something changed, she would let you know. Keep moving forward brother.

[ColdAlone]

lol oh to be naive...

 

 

There is no addressing when you guys are broken up. You guys are NOT a couple. Look dude, SHE BROKE UP WITH YOU. If there were issues DURING the relationship, she could have came to you and fixed them WITH you. She can say that she still loves you and that things are covered in anger or whatever, but the fact is she chose to leave you. If she loved you as much as you claim she does, she would NOT take the risk of breaking up WITH you in the fear that you would be gone. People who are in love dont do that. The talking you are doing now with her is not helping. NO one has moved forward in this nor has anyone really learned ANYTHING. This doesnt just come out of left field. She HAS thought about this. Words are just words. She can tell you EVERYTHING under the sun (you would be shocked from what ex's have said and not said that turned out to be untrue) but actions speak my friend. You are almost refusing to see this, and trust me, this is NOT the first time I've seen a story with this. On the contrary, I've had close friends with the EXACT same situation and SEVERAL people on here as well. All of them end the same.

 

Look, you can get upset that people say NC NC NC like were some robots or whatever. You can get upset at all of that....but the fact remains that talking in circles and keep rehashing stuff ONLY leads to a deeper tear. NC clears YOUR mind and helps you actually see thinks without biased and rose colored glasses. She MADE the decision so RESPECT it and stay away.

 

How is something good coming out of it?

 

 

I think the difference is that we always have been LC. We talked about things, apoligised. We have put that past us so aren't talking about that anymore. That doesn't mean that feelings didn't get hurt or that trust hasn't been broken. But we aren't starting from 0, as would happen with NC.

 

And now she is working on her stuff there, and I am on mine here. We update eachother on how that goes. And what goes on in our lives. We know that we want to be together. And we try to make certain we don't fall back into the same pattern. Seperate, but together. Me flying there has more to do with one of my issues than wanting to see her.

 

Why in the world would I play with her fear by going NC? And why would I be upset now ?

 

You may have noticed I didn't ask anyone for advice either. Because I'm good with any outcome, at any time.

[Simon Phoenix]

I think the difference is that we always have been LC. We talked about things, apoligised. We have put that past us so aren't talking about that anymore. That doesn't mean that feelings didn't get hurt or that trust hasn't been broken. But we aren't starting from 0, as would happen with NC.

 

And now she is working on her stuff there, and I am on mine here. We update eachother on how that goes. And what goes on in our lives. We know that we want to be together. And we try to make certain we don't fall back into the same pattern. Seperate, but together. Me flying there has more to do with one of my issues than wanting to see her.

 

Why in the world would I play with her fear by going NC? And why would I be upset now ?

 

You may have noticed I didn't ask anyone for advice either. Because I'm good with any outcome, at any time.

 

Honestly, starting from as close to 0 as possible is probably your best hope at a reconciliation. I'm staying away from the "NC, NC, NC" talk because you won't listen anyway, but yeah, the fresher the start the better.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

I think the difference is that we always have been LC. We talked about things, apoligised. We have put that past us so aren't talking about that anymore. That doesn't mean that feelings didn't get hurt or that trust hasn't been broken. But we aren't starting from 0, as would happen with NC.

 

And now she is working on her stuff there, and I am on mine here. We update eachother on how that goes. And what goes on in our lives. We know that we want to be together. And we try to make certain we don't fall back into the same pattern. Seperate, but together. Me flying there has more to do with one of my issues than wanting to see her.

 

Why in the world would I play with her fear by going NC? And why would I be upset now ?

 

You may have noticed I didn't ask anyone for advice either. Because I'm good with any outcome, at any time.

 

As you wrote a thread on here talking about it lol

 

You are totally swinging and missing on what I'm saying. It has nothing to do with NC either. Not your fault, you just dont understand yet. You will sure enough I assure you.

[narixan]

I just want to thank you guys for all the thoughts. I guess I'm not going to contact her.