elliemay Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 Hello everyone, me and my boyfriend have been together for a year now after meeting on meetme. Not long after we got together I asked him to delete the account as it made me feel insecure. Recently he asked if he could register back on meetme to find his friend fair enough right? So I agreed he could register again. After a couple of days he still hadnt found his friend so, curious, I looked up his profile only to find he'd added over 50 girls, some of which lived near to him. This really upset me, if he was trying to find his friend why was he adding or accepting friend requests from these girls? I looked at a couple of the girl's profiles to find he'd commented on their statuses. One girl's status said she didnt feel well and he'd commented saying 'hope you feel better soon :3' it might seem innocent but if he was looking for his friend why did he care this girl was ill? Anyway after a few weeks of looking he finally found his friend and I asked him to close the account again which he did. I still dont see why she was so important to find? :-/ I found out he had added one of the girls from meetme to his steam account and stupidly made a fake account and searched for her on facebook. When I found her I questioned her about how they had met which she replied he'd added her. Now, when I asked him about the girls on meetme he said they had added him. So, confused, I continued to question her and she told me he hadnt told her he had a girlfriend and seemed lonely. I confronted him about it and he told me he didnt know who she was but I noticed he'd deleted herfrom his steam account. What should I do? :-( I'm insecure from my past relationship where my ex had cheated on me. I love my boyfriend dearly but dont know what I should do? Also is it a red flag that my boyfriend hasnt mentioned his friend since he found her on meetme again? I found out one of the girls he added on meetme was his ex who he hadnt met in person. I also questioned her and she didnt know he had a girlfriend either please help x
TMichaels Posted October 26, 2013 Posted October 26, 2013 Well, it's pretty obvious isn't it? He clearly is not 100% committed to you or he wouldn't be looking elsewhere or lying to you when he gets caught. He's not worthy of your continued attention and you need to make that clear by booting him to the curb post haste. Yeah, you may have invested a year of your life in this guy, but he's a liar, cheater and game-player to boot. Just be thankful that you found out the kind of person he really is and that his word means *nothing* before you wasted any more of your life and time. Best, TMichaels 2
LuvsTrucks2 Posted October 26, 2013 Posted October 26, 2013 I'm sorry you are going through this. You've been handed a red flag, you may have invested a year, but don't let this go any longer. We can't ignore the red flags. You deserve better.
TMichaels Posted October 26, 2013 Posted October 26, 2013 (edited) P.S. And BTW, your Post Subject is incorrect. This guy isn't telling "white lies" -- he's telling whoppers. Lying and cheating behind your back is a BIG deal, not a minor one. Quit trying to find a way to explain his behavior away. What people do and how they act is an indication of who they really are and what's important to them. In this case sorry, but that's *not* you. Furthermore, if you have only met him online and never in person, he's *not* your boyfriend -- he's an online pen pal who can have and live an entirely different life than the one he pretends to have with you and you'll never know the difference as you so painfully have found out. Learn from your mistakes and don't repeat them. And, don't let anyone have a second chance at playing you for a fool. Best, TMichaels Edited October 26, 2013 by TMichaels 1
Author elliemay Posted October 26, 2013 Author Posted October 26, 2013 Thank you both for the advice. :-) This isn't the first time he's lied to me, a couple months into the relationship he lied about his account on motherless too :-/ I think I might confront him first though I am also in the wrong for making a fake account
Tayla Posted October 26, 2013 Posted October 26, 2013 This relationship is imbalanced. Stabilize it by removing the Right to "create" rules for him. Does he have Rules for you? In what ways is it loving to be constantly distrusting?
TMichaels Posted October 26, 2013 Posted October 26, 2013 Thank you both for the advice. :-) This isn't the first time he's lied to me, a couple months into the relationship he lied about his account on motherless too :-/ I think I might confront him first though I am also in the wrong for making a fake account WTF for? You know he's a liar and has been cheating on you. What do you possibly hope to achieve? Get him to admit all, then what? Take him at his word that it won't happen again when his word has already proven to be worth nothing and he's been caught with his hand in the cookie jar before? As far as the fake account goes, quit kicking yourself over that. The guy was acting suspicious, you asked him to explain, and his behavior/explanations didn't ring true. Since you weren't going to get a straight answer (which you deserved) from him, you took matters into your own hands, and what your gut was telling you was right -- the guy was lying to you. You needn't feel guilty or apologize to anyone about that. In fact, you don't even need to disclose what or how you know. The fact that two different girls corroborated that he was hitting them up and conveniently left out the part about he already had "a girlfriend" is evidence enough the guy is a d|ck who deserves not one more iota of your consideration or time. Walk. No explanations, no nothing. And don't cave in. Don't be stupid and give him the respect and courtesy he hasn't shown you. No matter what he may say after you dump him, you weren't a priority in his life -- you were an idle amusement -- and one of many at that. Get some self respect and stand up/take care of yourself. No one else will or should. Least of all, this loser. Best, TMichaels 1
emi Posted October 26, 2013 Posted October 26, 2013 he is looking for another greener grass i suppose. Just cut the douche off your life. HE WANNA TRY SOMETHING NEW, EXCITING? Hell yeah, give it to him
ExpatInItaly Posted October 26, 2013 Posted October 26, 2013 WTF for? You know he's a liar and has been cheating on you. What do you possibly hope to achieve? Get him to admit all, then what? Take him at his word that it won't happen again when his word has already proven to be worth nothing and he's been caught with his hand in the cookie jar before? As far as the fake account goes, quit kicking yourself over that. The guy was acting suspicious, you asked him to explain, and his behavior/explanations didn't ring true. Since you weren't going to get a straight answer (which you deserved) from him, you took matters into your own hands, and what your gut was telling you was right -- the guy was lying to you. You needn't feel guilty or apologize to anyone about that. In fact, you don't even need to disclose what or how you know. The fact that two different girls corroborated that he was hitting them up and conveniently left out the part about he already had "a girlfriend" is evidence enough the guy is a d|ck who deserves not one more iota of your consideration or time. Walk. No explanations, no nothing. And don't cave in. Don't be stupid and give him the respect and courtesy he hasn't shown you. No matter what he may say after you dump him, you weren't a priority in his life -- you were an idle amusement -- and one of many at that. Get some self respect and stand up/take care of yourself. No one else will or should. Least of all, this loser. Best, TMichaels This x100. What is confrontation going to achieve? He's already a known liar so don't expect him to tell you the truth. He's not very interested in you or the relationship. The reason he wanted to search for his friend so badly was so that he could open an account and meet other girls. This is obvious, no? He's got to go. You don't need that kind of "boyfriend" Out of curiosity, how old are you both, and have you ever met in person?
OnlyHonesty Posted October 26, 2013 Posted October 26, 2013 Thank you both for the advice. :-) This isn't the first time he's lied to me, a couple months into the relationship he lied about his account on motherless too :-/ I think I might confront him first though I am also in the wrong for making a fake account I believe that sometimes, confrontation can be an excuse in the hope that the disloyal partner will give us something to cling on to (bread crumbs) or convince us that we were wrong. You were given a red flag early on into the relationship, now you have been given a thousand more. If you remain in this relationship, expect more lies, manipulation and when he gets to know that you will remain with him despite the lies and emotional unfaithfulness, he may potentially escalate that to physical unfaithfulness. Either way, it is highly unlikely anything positive can come out of this. Regardless, the only thing that is keeping you with him is your self esteem levels, fear and I'm sure you can think of a few others. Often we will feel great pain to leave great pain.
devilish innocent Posted October 26, 2013 Posted October 26, 2013 I agree with the person who said this isn't a "white" lie. Guys who are in relationships don't meet a bunch of girls on these sites unless they're looking for some side action. Don't worry about creating a fake account yourself. It's understandable when you've had reasons to suspect him of cheating on you. This isn't about your past history of being cheated on. This is because you're with a guy who's shown himself to be untrustworthy. It's best if you move on.
lishabello Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 Hello everyone, me and my boyfriend have been together for a year now after meeting on meetme. Not long after we got together I asked him to delete the account as it made me feel insecure. Recently he asked if he could register back on meetme to find his friend fair enough right? So I agreed he could register again. After a couple of days he still hadnt found his friend so, curious, I looked up his profile only to find he'd added over 50 girls, some of which lived near to him. This really upset me, if he was trying to find his friend why was he adding or accepting friend requests from these girls? I looked at a couple of the girl's profiles to find he'd commented on their statuses. One girl's status said she didnt feel well and he'd commented saying 'hope you feel better soon :3' it might seem innocent but if he was looking for his friend why did he care this girl was ill? Anyway after a few weeks of looking he finally found his friend and I asked him to close the account again which he did. I still dont see why she was so important to find? :-/ I found out he had added one of the girls from meetme to his steam account and stupidly made a fake account and searched for her on facebook. When I found her I questioned her about how they had met which she replied he'd added her. Now, when I asked him about the girls on meetme he said they had added him. So, confused, I continued to question her and she told me he hadnt told her he had a girlfriend and seemed lonely. I confronted him about it and he told me he didnt know who she was but I noticed he'd deleted herfrom his steam account. What should I do? :-( I'm insecure from my past relationship where my ex had cheated on me. I love my boyfriend dearly but dont know what I should do? Also is it a red flag that my boyfriend hasnt mentioned his friend since he found her on meetme again? I found out one of the girls he added on meetme was his ex who he hadnt met in person. I also questioned her and she didnt know he had a girlfriend either please help x This is why I don't like online dating.
ThisGal Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 (edited) This is why I don't like online dating. Don't fault all online daters because of this bad situation, meeting online or offline does not guarantee you'll be with a great man or woman. One must be careful wit anyone they meet, be it online or offline. People are people. I met my b/f online also and have been together for a little over a year also. I can honestly say it was a great decision for me to have given him a chance. I can say I have no doubts whatever of his loyalty and faithfulness, we are 100% committed in our relationship. Btw, OP, have you two actually met in person... As in face-to-face or is all this based online? You need to leave him. Point blank, he does not take you seriously nor does he respect you. Cut him out of your life, you're just wasting more time on someone who is a deceitful liar. He isn't committed at all. Time to move on. GL! Edited October 27, 2013 by ThisGal
nomadic_butterfly Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 This is why I don't like online dating. Agreed. People still cheat after the initial meeting was in real life too but online amplifies this possibility. It's so easy to meet others and juggle a few simultaneously that it can devalue authentic commitment. You need examine what in you keeps choosing men who are unfaithful.
justwhoiam Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 me and my boyfriend have been together for a year now after meeting on meetme. But you never met him? Sorry, he's not your boyfriend. And whose idea was it to get together? Maybe yours? What about he just wants to date? Not long after we got together I asked him to delete the account as it made me feel insecure. First clue: had he been serious about you, he would have deleted the account on his own. Asking him to do that for you was silly, desperate, and useless. Also, so much checking and you didn't really make it worth it. You could have opened a new account for yourself and asked him questions, even intimate ones. And see what he was up to and how it was dealing with all these girls. What should I do? :-( I'm insecure from my past relationship where my ex had cheated on me. Don't let history repeat itself, when you can avoid that. The first time was bad luck, this second time would be pure stupidity. Also is it a red flag that my boyfriend hasnt mentioned his friend since he found her on meetme again? I can't even count the red flags here. Really. Actually, they're not even red flags. They are open statements which can't be ignored. please help x The person who can help you the most now is you. Yes. Cut him off.
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