Softie Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 (edited) We'd have the odd spat in our 10 months together but we had such a connection, so much in common, we laughed so much & had such good fund, we could when face to face talk through our issues & problems. But the love was there. He would do little things, more practical than romantic but I still struggled to see that he did want me, desire me. He has a shift job, which made seeing each other difficult to arrange but not impossible with some planning and fore thought. I gave him all the love I could, take care of him, made sure he had enough rest, space, love and he knew he was loved. I went to do a charity trek in September and it was hard for me being away from him, that along with being nervous and in pain I was more needy than usual, neediness to hear from him, seek comfort in him, have compassion for what I was going through. When I returned I knew something wasn't right, it turned out it wasn't and he wanted space. I went into panic mode, not knowing what the hell was going on, had he met someone else, did he still want me, I tried to get him to meet up to talk face to face but he was always too busy. In the end after weeks I said I could not wait anymore & had to get on with my life. I said for my short failings in the relationship I was sorry but he had gotten lazy with the desire & wanting to be with me/spend time with me. We met up & I expressed my failings and apologised that he felt I was a nag, but I wasn't doing it to push him away but to guide him (as he'd not had much relationship experience). When I mentioned he got lazy he agreed with everything I said, that he'd had feelings for me that he'd never had about anyone incl marriage. I'd never even mentioned marriage or living with him so this was his thinking not mine. At the end of the meeting, I said so is this it then and he said he just couldn't keep up with my wants, I walked away. But he texted the following to his best mate (a female but no threat) "I really ****ed up (her name) I'm single even though (my name) had sort of made it clear we had come to the end of the line she was also hanging onto an olive branch of reconciliation and I just didn't take it, I donno why I just couldn't. I've really hurt her why am I such a stubborn git. He does tend to such feelings out because of his job and his past. But what should I make of this text? Anything or nothing? I've heard nothing since but I did say I couldn't stay friends with him as it would be too hard. What to do what to do? Looking for some helpful insight really. Edited October 26, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
StillHurting1 Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 You have to understand that his situation is going to always going to bother you. He is always going to be inaccessable, so if that is a deal breaker, you need to let go. But if the connection was so strong that you can deal with going without seeing him, then you need to let him know. But know in advance, it is not his fault if he doesn't have time for you. At this point, you know what you'd be getting into.
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