stormy_1011 Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 Ive been seeing this guy off and on for about a year and a half now. We don't have a title or anything but have wicked chemistry and are amazing friends. I will sleep over, we cuddle all night, he kisses my forehead and stuff like that. When we've talked about sex in the past, we would say.."I wanna f*ck you' or something similar. Last night he said he wanted to 'make love'. Does that mean he has feelings for me given that he doesn't need to sweet talk me to get me into bed? Please help! Link to post Share on other sites
ls32ssibm Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 Sure, why not? I'd ask him where you guys stand. Tell him what you want and see if your on the same page. Link to post Share on other sites
jphcbpa Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 what are your feelings? Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 LOL. Semantics. He wants sex. After "cuddling all night", you bet your sweet ass he does. I wouldn't read too much in the different phrasing. It's just a slightly different angle of attack. Not that I blame him, though. But what do you want? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
happydate Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 (edited) Ive been seeing this guy off and on for about a year and a half now. We don't have a title or anything but have wicked chemistry and are amazing friends. I will sleep over, we cuddle all night, he kisses my forehead and stuff like that. When we've talked about sex in the past, we would say.."I wanna f*ck you' or something similar. Last night he said he wanted to 'make love'. Does that mean he has feelings for me given that he doesn't need to sweet talk me to get me into bed? Please help! He was checking to see if he is investing in a romantic relationship or a platonic relationship. He's using a 2 strike rule. The first strike was in the past when he asked you to have sex with him and you didn't want to. So right now, he's asking you again. If you have answered no again, then he knows for sure that you are treating this simply as platonic -- no sex. Either he will walk away from the investment or dial down his friendship with you and look to date other girls with better romantic prospects. But you know. If you only want a platonic relationship, you should tell him outright. It's not fair to dangle a carrot right in front of him when what he really wants is more than a platonic relationship! Some men employ a 3 strike rule, but 2 strike rule is the norm and is actually employed in the business world as well as a determine whether a customer is a TW (Time Waster) or a prospect. Hope this helps. Edited October 25, 2013 by happydate Link to post Share on other sites
jba10582 Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 My weak and feeble mind cannot comprehend why it matters HOW he says he wants to have sex if: 1.) you cuddle all night 2.) he kisses you on the forehead 3.) you have some kind of relationship for 1.5 years. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stormy_1011 Posted October 25, 2013 Author Share Posted October 25, 2013 He was checking to see if he is investing in a romantic relationship or a platonic relationship. He's using a 2 strike rule. The first strike was in the past when he asked you to have sex with him and you didn't want to. So right now, he's asking you again. If you have answered no again, then he knows for sure that you are treating this simply as platonic -- no sex. Either he will walk away from the investment or dial down his friendship with you and look to date other girls with better romantic prospects. But you know. If you only want a platonic relationship, you should tell him outright. It's not fair to dangle a carrot right in front of him when what he really wants is more than a platonic relationship! Some men employ a 3 strike rule, but 2 strike rule is the norm and is actually employed in the business world as well as a determine whether a customer is a TW (Time Waster) or a prospect. Hope this helps. I AM having sex with him is the point already so he doesn't NEED to say it in a more romantic way because he's getting it already without saying it like that! I am just asking if this means he is developing FEELINGS for me..he has the sex with me already...so the way he said it leads me to believe he might be getting feelings. Thanks for all of your responses Link to post Share on other sites
Author stormy_1011 Posted October 25, 2013 Author Share Posted October 25, 2013 After "cuddling all night", you bet your sweet ass he does. I wouldn't read too much in the different phrasing. It's just a slightly different angle of attack. Not that I blame him, though. But what do you want? Actually we cuddle AFTER sex not before lol Link to post Share on other sites
RogerWallace111 Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 I don't get these other responses... Pretty clearly a significant, conscious decision on his end to word it like that. What's the other option ? After a year and a half he arbitrarily and without realizing whats coming out of his mouth is suddenly "making love" and not "f*cking"? Not saying he's madly in love with you or it means anything crazy, but I think you can take that obviously intentional new phrasing as some sort of message. Unless he was hammered Link to post Share on other sites
Author stormy_1011 Posted October 25, 2013 Author Share Posted October 25, 2013 I don't get these other responses... Pretty clearly a significant, conscious decision on his end to word it like that. What's the other option ? After a year and a half he arbitrarily and without realizing whats coming out of his mouth is suddenly "making love" and not "f*cking"? Not saying he's madly in love with you or it means anything crazy, but I think you can take that obviously intentional new phrasing as some sort of message. Unless he was hammered Yea that's more along the lines of my thinking...a sudden change and doing stuff a bf would do! I guess I could just say...so if we're making love does that mean you love me LOL Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 "Make love" doesn't necessarily mean something romantic to everyone. I wouldn't assign your feelings about a phrase to him. Maybe he just saw a movie where someone said that and it turned him on. Never over-analyze someone's words. If you want clarification about what he's feeling for you, talk to him directly about it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
happydate Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 (edited) I AM having sex with him is the point already so he doesn't NEED to say it in a more romantic way because he's getting it already without saying it like that! I am just asking if this means he is developing FEELINGS for me..he has the sex with me already...so the way he said it leads me to believe he might be getting feelings. Thanks for all of your responses Sorry for the confusion, but your question was a bit vague. Friends With Benefits type relationship I assume? If that is the case, my advise still stands, because when people are fishing for something, they are afraid of jeopardizing the relationship so he may play it safe. So obviously this bothers you. It bothers you because you are not seeking a romantic relationship from this man, but he may and you enjoy the way it is right now? You can always ask him! Why ask us? If he says no, then keep enjoying the no-strings attached friendship with sex. If you think sex = love; you have a long way to go to understand the real meaning of love. Best of luck. Edited October 25, 2013 by happydate Link to post Share on other sites
ponchsox Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight! Ha! Maybe this guy is Chef and he just wants to make sweet love down by the fire. Link to post Share on other sites
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