So why are you single?

[ltjg45]

because nobody wants me. i am always the rebound chick, the chick who is around until they get the one they really want, the fallback chick, or the sidepiece. i don't know what i am doing wrong. i give up.

 

If I saw you in public, that would be the last assumption I would make of you. You are way too pretty to be going through that kind of crap.

 

Also, I disagree on the last statement. There is at least one male who wants you or someone similar to you. I just wish I can actually meet one of you.

[Imported]

I have only had 3 relationships in my life that lasted longer than a year. Longest was almost 4 years. I don't think I did anything wrong. Or at least wrong enough to deserve what two out of that three did.

 

Of people that stay together for long, I see the same. Infidelity, resentment, unhappy and stuck. They get fat. The edge is worn dull. I see guys that are paying for their ex-wife because they made the mistake of marrying her. I see guys that are married, living a lower quality of life because of money, even though they make @ the same as me.

 

I firmly believe that for me to commit (and eventually marry) to someone will result in a whole lot of sacrifice and a one sided financial risk on my end. I don't think that is fair or equal. I don't believe in a pre-nup even if they actually make any difference. If I commit, I love and I trust. But I have seen what love and trust did for me with two relationships I had. I don't really trust my judgement here.

 

I am slowly coming around to thinking of a "relationship" as a temporary deal. The more temporary the less risk for me. Get in, have fun and warm feelings. Don't take it too serious. Get out and move on. Eventually I won't be able to do like this anymore, but eventually is a long time away.

Edited November 5, 2013 by Imported

[Emilia]

I am slowly coming around to thinking of a "relationship" as a temporary deal. The more temporary the less risk for me. Get in, have fun and warm feelings. Don't take it too serious. Get out and move on. Eventually I won't be able to do like this anymore, but eventually is a long time away.

Not everyone wants to get married. It needn't be an 'all or nothing' situation.

[dj572]

I am divorced and even though it's been 4.5 years since she left I weigh the good and the bad of being in a relationship and it doesn't balance out for me. The benefits of being in a relationship don't even out with the benefits of being single. I am independant but I made compromises while being married because I was committed to do what I needed to do to make things work. It didn't work out for me in the end so now I don't compromise. That doesn't work well for being in a relationship. I don't play games anymore. If I die alone I am ok with that. I tried it and it didn't work out. Being alone isn't bad if you enjoy your own company.

[Heart of the Desert]

I am single, that's all I know. Sometimes it feels like a choice I am making, sometimes it doesn't.

[skydiveaddict]

I am single, that's all I know. Sometimes it feels like a choice I am making, sometimes it doesn't.

 

I can for sure relate to that.

[TintedChrome]

I could have married long ago, if I wanted to marry just anyone, and ignore my instincts and standards.

 

I'm one of those guys that seems impressive if you describe me on paper. But, I'm not short, skinny, young, or cute. I'm tall and athletic and just look intimidating. I just don't have the ability to turn on the charm all the time. I just can't yap endlessly and put on an impressive performance for strangers. I can't read a woman's mind and know what she's thinking or what she'd be interested in hearing about. If I walk into a bar or nightclub alone I'm like Uhhhh.... okayyyyyy.... what am i supposed to do here....how does this place work???

[FrostBlaze]

I am single because i don't like most girls my age, personality wise, i can barely give a hoot about looks. (if u wanna talk about looks, face/smile is most important to me)

 

Those RARE ones that i find and like, don't like me back(or just friendzone), those that liked me and i didn't, i never gave them a chance so that's that.

I figured why hook up with someone if i don't like them... sometimes i regret it, i could of used the experience, now i am old and only dated 2 girls in my life and not for a very long period.

 

+ I got no game, i end up from hot to cute with girls, wich means they lose any romantic feelings toward me xD.

[Valen]

I am single because i don't like most girls my age, personality wise, i can barely give a hoot about looks. (if u wanna talk about looks, face/smile is most important to me)

 

Those RARE ones that i find and like, don't like me back(or just friendzone), those that liked me and i didn't, i never gave them a chance so that's that.

I figured why hook up with someone if i don't like them... sometimes i regret it, i could of used the experience, now i am old and only dated 2 girls in my life and not for a very long period.

 

+ I got no game, i end up from hot to cute with girls, wich means they lose any romantic feelings toward me xD.

 

This is how it is for me too. And sometimes those rare ones that I find are usually in a relationship. I have a principle that I don't pursue any girl that has a bf. I think it will come down to luck if I ever meet someone who reciprocate my love. I know the right girl for me is out there and I don't plan to settle down with just anyone. I rather be single with freedom than be in a miserable relationship.

[Tayla]

You say you are attractive or your friends say you are

 

You or your friends say you are fun to be with, funny smart etc

 

you like to work hard and play hard etc

 

you've tried OLD

 

you say you are looking for a relationship yet.... you are still single?

 

yes men and women both play games, lie, cheat, flake etc.

 

Why do you remain single? Why haven't you found someone ?

 

My answers in order:

1:Why sure my friends would say that, because its true! Funny , witty and generally thoughtfull too!

2: Work hard, play well with others. yup!

3: tried old?? heck sunshine I am old , and love'n every memory of it!

4: I'm looking and sadly the pickins are slim, So looking and sight seeing will suffice for this ole grey mare.

5: Cool -- both play games! I love games,. like jeopardy, wheel of fortune...and sometimes I even win at tic tac toe

6: I remain single because all the above are true. And who needs to be "attached", "linked"...it sounds like the days of linking prisoners together so the other doesn't run off...Sorry I respect relationships far to much to be "attached".

 

And my final answer is simple- I love being single..able to go where I please , hold myself 100% accountable, and go out and help in the community without being asked ...where ya going??

[Biscous]

-Picky

-This isn't a 'singles' city for sure

-Focusing on my career and goals

[Nikki Sahagin]

Hmmmm...

 

Mine are a mixture of reasons:

 

1) I am interested (STRONGLY interested enough to be motivated to desire a relationship) in men VERY rarely.

 

2) Powerful physical and sexual chemistry is important to me and I refuse to have a relationship without it. Unfortunately, this can lead to a lack in other areas of the relationship i.e. general compatability, similar values etc.

 

3) I get bored very quickly.

 

4) I believe I fall in lust and infatuation moreso than love which means I can be a jealous, possessive and insecure partner, which is not always so attractive

 

5) I can be very moody and indecisive

 

6) I do not think I want marriage/children so my motivation for relationships is different

[Rudolph]

Long-time lurker here, with answers in order:

 

1. I don't think of myself as attractive just completely or slightly below average. To my knowledge, my friends haven't mentioned or pointed out my level of physical attraction so I figure I must be in the 'completely neutral' for them.

 

2. I work as hard as I can as I look for jobs but so far, two years jobless continue rolling by without a missed beat.

 

3. Tried OLD several years back, listened to opinions from friends and received feedback from strangers to improve profile. Result of this was a beaten and completely battered self-esteem that took a while to rebuild while cutting OLD completely from my life.

 

4. I have never been involved in a relationship, regardless of my own efforts and help from my very small circle of friends, I have no clue as to how to proceed in a relationship or dating for that matter. It's all a jumbled puzzle that makes no sense to me.

 

5. Both genders do it so that fact is not surprising at all, really.

 

6. Like mentioned before, I'm single because I have no idea what to do.

[msat]

1) I lead a busy life that includes being a full-time student and working part time. This aspect alone leaves little time to be out and about dating and what have you.

 

2) I have very particular tastes. Physical attraction to me is important seeing as how it establishes an initial interest. However, I also place quite a bit of importance on intellect, thus when a woman possesses looks but no intellect to match, I rarely consider her as potential "long-term" material.

 

3) Generally speaking, I am plagued by an inferiority complex surrounding insecurities I have regarding my own self image and how I rank compared to men within my demographic. One way of looking at it is the standards upon which I judge women and what I am in search of. It would be hypocritical of me to actively search for the woman of my "dreams" when in reality I am by no means an example of what a "dream" guy is. Therefore I actively resist dating women while I ply my trade and actively work to improve my status. I should make it clear that I am in fact confident regarding my physical attractiveness to a certain extent. When conditions are right, I have a great sense of humour and possess the ability to charm a wide range of women. I suppose I am my biggest critic in that those qualities, while nice, aren't the ones that will provide and care for a spouse/family in times of need.

 

4) Of late, I have come to embrace my celibate lifestyle as a means of avoiding emotional stress and the need to compromise. No matter how attracted I am or how well I get along with someone, the other person will eventually become a hindrance to my freedom. A relationship entails compromise and the acceptance of another individual's choices and needs which won't always coincide with what I want. I suppose this is a selfish conclusion to come to, but in the end I value my ability pursue things without having to explain or face criticism concerning my choice.

 

5) I have abandonment issues related to my mother. At the age of 15 my mother had an affair and it was I who uncovered her extra-marital adventure. This resulted in me being estranged from her for 13 years. We re-established contact a couple of years ago and have since formed a reconciliation of sorts. Many questions have yet to be answered(or even asked for that matter), however, whats important is that I have her back in my life seeing as how she is my mother.

[Confusedguy81]

because I'm a crazy loon

[SerCay]

I have moved cities A LOT, and while with my ex I was a major homebody. Those habits are hard to break.

 

So I have no friends at all where I am- I mean not a single friend. And I am really intimidated at the idea of trying to make friends.

 

I think I am single/will be for a long time, because I never meet new people.

 

I do have this idea in my head that I need to be 'better' somehow before putting myself out there. :/

 

All of these, exactly these things. I love being home...plus my bf and I break up and make up every month, but yeah we wont be long i guess.

 

and also:

 

EVERYONE has someone...but like EVERYONE

 

And also, I LONG for intellectual, well read men..

Honest to god a main reason I want to remain in touch with my bf even though we must break up is the intellectual friendship..

 

Too many men of my age and time are shallow shallow shallow..

 

I'm a nerd...a true nerd, not only do I love sitting at home, I love reading..heck I'm doing a major in literature

Next to this, I so want somebody to match my looks of course, and thats the hard part.

 

Nerdy guys are usually not so handsome..and guys that do match my looks are not so smart most of the time..

Edited November 12, 2013 by SerCay

[Zezima]

Because im short, an aspie, and shy around girls. Iv'e never had a GF and I reckon I won't be getting one for a while.

 

 

whats ur superpower?

[secret admirer]

I'm single because I'm too big of a chicken to ask a girl out. I lack confidence (working on it!!), and that is the worst thing to lack if you're "single and ready to mingle" because there's no mingling without approaching a girl first.

[Disillusioned]

I am single because i don't like most girls my age, personality wise, i can barely give a hoot about looks. (if u wanna talk about looks, face/smile is most important to me)

 

Those RARE ones that i find and like, don't like me back(or just friendzone), those that liked me and i didn't, i never gave them a chance so that's that.

 

^ That. That. That. ^

[haribogumsnickers]

Being single is not by choice...i just don't f'n know why. I mean I do but to "enhance" myself (not my member but that wouldn't hurt to) is too much work. Why can't love be easily attainable for poor smucks like me?

[Marcus89]

No money..

[Leigh 87]

Because the people I have felt chemistry for and I - we did not last, so I am patiently awaiting the right person to come along.

 

I would greately prefer to go through life with a partner. However, if it doesn't happen I will still be a person that is rich with love and happiness.

 

I do not have unrealstic standards. I am pretty positive I will end up with at least one more great love. If not more.

[mysunflower]

I don't have the personality to have a gf..or even a hook up. I can't hold a convo with a girl for more than 2 minutes without her getting bored of me. I'm introverted and girls my age like to go out and socialize. Overall I'm just not the type of person people call to hang out with.

 

I'll probably grow old with out ever having a gf..but this realization doesn't bother me as much as it used to. Besides, I'd rather be alone than to be with someone that has lost interest in me and would probably only be with me because of kids...that's how most of my friends relationships/marriages are. I also don't want kids..like ever. And I know most women(and guys too) eventually want kids/family.

 

It's a biological need which means It'll always be there in the back of my mind..and it's an urge that'll have to stay repressed for the rest of my life.

I'll just try to make the best of my situation and be happy.

 

I am definitely not the kind of person to hang out with. I''m extremely introvert and will never stay with anyone who doesn't show interest on me. I don't want kids (and not sure if I can have them). I'm not pretty and not rich at all. It sounds like we are very similar. But I''ve never been single long enough to understand the feeling of being single. So I guess gender makes the difference?

[Big Blue Box]

You say you are attractive or your friends say you are

 

You or your friends say you are fun to be with, funny smart etc

 

you like to work hard and play hard etc

 

you've tried OLD

 

you say you are looking for a relationship yet.... you are still single?

 

yes men and women both play games, lie, cheat, flake etc.

 

Why do you remain single? Why haven't you found someone ?

 

Simple, I have made too many mistakes in life which are numerous red flags to women. I do not have any relationship or sexual experience plus I lack a driver's license. I have tried OLD with no luck. The women that I have dated in the past either ended up telling me "Let's just be friends" or there was something wrong with them (nitpicks every little thing I did such as posing on a couple Facebook postings even though I didn't reply to every post she made) which resulted in me breaking up with them. As a result every woman will have some red flag attached to me. Because of that I am done chasing waterfalls and wasting my precious energy in the process since I know it will be a futile attempt. With less than 1 year before turning 40 I have more important things to do with my time and energy and it isn't dating.

[napy666]

I am too picky with the type of guy I want hahahaha. But I know I will find that guy I want, I have gotten close at times but nothing yet.