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Thoughts on this age gap...(13 years apart)


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Posted

I'm just curious of people's thoughts...I'm 24, almost 25 year old male...I've become goods friends with a 37 year old...we really connect...I'm not at the point of being romantically interested but I do feel like it could happen...she has given hints that she may be getting to that point and we have discussed being honest with each other if one of us gets to that point. I'm curious of everyone's opinion on that age difference. Again, I'm not interested in that way...just curious of people thoughts on that age gap.

Posted

A 13-year age gap can be a big deal or nothing, depending on the people involved.

 

With a 37-year-old woman the question of children could be an issue, since she's getting to the age where she's going to have to make decisions if she hasn't already had kids.

 

As a 38-year-old woman, the vast majority of 25-year-old guys wouldn't interest me, because of their immaturity, but I'm sure there are ones that I could be compatible with.

 

My BF is 27 years older than me and it does complicate the relationship. Our relationship is worth it, but I sometimes do fantasize about what it would be like if I could change history and meet him back when he was closer to my age.

 

Large age differences definitely complicate contemplating a future together.

  • Like 2
Posted

For a bit of fun, or a relationship? I've dated with that age gap, in both directions. In the long term, I prefer someone closer to my age.

 

You might find she's fine with it for a fling. It would be unusual for her to want a lasting relationship from it.

Posted
A 13-year age gap can be a big deal or nothing, depending on the people involved.

 

This is more of a female point of view. Most men, if they're honest and older than you, will tell you it's a big deal--i.e., a bad idea.

 

As men age, they are naturally drawn to younger women. I know this upsets a lot of people (especially women), but it's the truth. The difference may not faze you now, because she's still in the child-bearing years which is what we're drawn to, but it will change as you get older. If you're single when you're 50, a woman who is 63 will be invisible to you. You won't even be interested in other 50-year-olds; you'll be checking out women in their mid/late 30's, or *maybe* early 40's if they're in good shape.

 

I don't say this with any joy--it's sort of a curse, really. But there's no point in denying nature.

 

I know there are guys who are with older women and appear happy. I think it's possible, if you have an incredibly strong bond and lots of love, that you can overlook the challenge of your partner aging before you do. But it's a big risk.

 

BTW, I do online dating and I would say the majority of ads I see from women 40+ are looking for younger guys.

Posted
For a bit of fun, or a relationship? I've dated with that age gap, in both directions. In the long term, I prefer someone closer to my age.

 

You might find she's fine with it for a fling. It would be unusual for her to want a lasting relationship from it.

You don't know that.
  • Author
Posted

She already has two kids in their teens. She is gorgeous, but personality is much more important to me than looks. Keep the responces coming though, I appreciate the opinions! Thanks.

Posted
You don't know that.

 

I know. Hence the words "might" and "unusual"

Posted

Do you want kids?

 

If not, go for it.

 

If so, there's no point starting a relationship with someone, falling in love with her, and selling out on something you really want in your life.

Posted

If you really love each other I don't think age difference should be an issue.

Posted
I know. Hence the words "might" and "unusual"
I'm not a native English speaker. When I read "unusual for her" I had the impression you were assuming how she feels about the age gap.
Posted
Do you want kids?

 

If not, go for it.

 

If so, there's no point starting a relationship with someone, falling in love with her, and selling out on something you really want in your life.

 

Are you assuming she won't wish to have more kids?

 

Or that due to her age she will not be able to?

  • Author
Posted

I can say that I do not want kids...at all.

Posted (edited)

Im 36 met a girl at the front desk of my gym. She is 23 really sweet and tombish in school to work on cars and loves drifting racing. I think long ago she hinted that the age gap was no bigdeal. Ive talked with women in my age group most have kids or greedy monster syndrome want materialistic crap to keep up with others. i almost feel that she is my soulmate in many ways. And when you love someone you want whats best for them often

times while i look in her eyes while talking i start to tear a little knowing that in 10yrs ill be 46and she will be 33 . I know my hair will be greying and face wrinkled she would eventually meet someone younger and ill be all alone agian. I dont want to use her for sex

so it leaves me in a state of depression...

 

its hard for me to click with women she is so eazy to talk to. most women are fake like they are reading from scripts or acting. with her its a conversation not

a game or script just natural talking....

 

She is 5'4 125Lbs brown hair brown eyes so natural and untouched no fake fingernail

makeup gobbed on maybe a little lipstick that when she smiles

in on her

two front teeth like a little girl playing dressup

Edited by charlietheginger
  • Like 1
Posted
I can say that I do not want kids...at all.

 

This might be a really good relationship choice for you then, since it will probably not be an issue with her (and given you can handle the demands of her older kids). I don't think 13 years is that big of a deal. I would prefer no more than 10 years difference in either direction, but this wouldn't be a deal breaker.

Posted

I've dated with that age gap but we both were older. Age gaps shrink as you get older. He was divorced with a kid, didn't want any more and I've never wanted kids.

 

Synchronicity -- I was just thinking of that particular guy. Hmmm...

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