I think struggling guys would be more sucessful if they found the right niche

[HopelessRomantic76]

I think some men who arent blessed with looks go for the wrong look/style heres an example i see all the time:

 

I have a few male friends who to put it politely arent clasically attractive at all yet they try to dress pretty boyish and be very stylish and while they dress well it doesnt work for them.

 

Most women who are gonna be heavy into fashion and style on men are also gonna be women who like pretty boys and ideal looks close to the mainstream so a unattractive or average looking guy will not win that type of women over more then likely over their better looking counterparts.

 

That type of guy will have more luck dressing and being into something more far away from the mainstream and geekish or maybe a goth or metal look because the women who will be into the not so handsome type of men will probably be far away from the mainstream themselves not a women heavy into fashion and vanity so know your core audience and who you can attract.

[PJKino]

lol at this im not gonna turn into somebody i not to try to attract women,i like to dress well and im unattractive i know it doesnt help me with women but neither would dressing gothic or whatever.

[GoodOnPaper]

An interesting topic that's not brought up very often on LS. Should the struggling guy hide/transform his unconventional qualities to try and broaden his dating pool or should he really "own" those qualities and significantly shrink his dating pool but with the idea that if he can manage to pair up with anyone in that pool, it's more likely to be a strong match?

 

To do the latter takes a lot of faith in the there's-somebody-for-everyone theory. Personally, I'm not a big believer in that -- at least where both partners are strongly and equally attracted to one another. I think a lot of us are naturally inclined to try the hide/transform route.

 

In the last thread that I remember on this topic, a lot of women chimed in advocating the latter route, but I suspect that's because it would make it easier for women to identify who to avoid as opposed to finding a better match.

[ponchsox]

I draw attraction from women by being in shape, having a good personality, and doing man things.

[RogerWallace111]

I do see what youre getting at, but in the end one's gotta just be how they want to be.

 

Take free will and personal preference out of the picture, then theoretically yes- less attractive people would probably be more successful with the opposite sex among demographics that don't place such a high value on pretty faces.

[pteromom]

Should the struggling guy hide/transform his unconventional qualities to try and broaden his dating pool or should he really "own" those qualities and significantly shrink his dating pool but with the idea that if he can manage to pair up with anyone in that pool, it's more likely to be a strong match?

 

The second - but at the same time, he can't be stupid about it. "The right girl will love that I never shower and have black teeth." But as far as dressing how he wants, being into what he's into, using the kind of humor he likes, yes.

 

To do the latter takes a lot of faith in the there's-somebody-for-everyone theory. Personally, I'm not a big believer in that

 

I am, as long as he has realistic criteria for a partner.

[runningfar]

will probably be far away from the mainstream themselves not a women heavy into fashion and vanity so know your core audience and who you can attract.

 

I think the bigger concern of dressing like that is not being mentioned here... You might attract a woman who's really into fashion. Ack!

 

I'm more into geeky and sporty (not gym-y) guys... I would say a guy putting too much attention to what he looks like would be a definite red flag for me that we wouldn't get along, because I'm not too fussed about clothes and such things. Though, I wouldn't date somebody I didn't know anyhow.

[ScreamingTrees]

Why do people think that just cause a guy has big muscles, he's going to be a big stiff who spends all his time in the gym?

 

 

I workout all the time and I'm 5'10 220 Lbs but I play football on Sundays and I'm actually pretty damn athletic. I wouldn't mind getting on the dance floor with a girl who would show me how to dance. I can move pretty well

 

I think you need to worry about your brain muscles shrinking away to nothing, brah. Why ask a question and then invalidate it by proving that you fit the stereotype you're questioning?

 

OP: Regardless of your interests, you don't have to dress like a slob/idiot.

 

And I don't think a niche group dressing in an extreme manner will help others to avoid them, you should be easily able to discern if someone is undesirable for you. Can't possibly be that difficult, you have a pair of eyes and ears..

[I-Love-Liberty]

I think some men who arent blessed with looks go for the wrong look/style heres an example i see all the time:

 

I have a few male friends who to put it politely arent clasically attractive at all yet they try to dress pretty boyish and be very stylish and while they dress well it doesnt work for them.

 

Most women who are gonna be heavy into fashion and style on men are also gonna be women who like pretty boys and ideal looks close to the mainstream so a unattractive or average looking guy will not win that type of women over more then likely over their better looking counterparts.

 

That type of guy will have more luck dressing and being into something more far away from the mainstream and geekish or maybe a goth or metal look because the women who will be into the not so handsome type of men will probably be far away from the mainstream themselves not a women heavy into fashion and vanity so know your core audience and who you can attract.

 

What is this? High school? Ain't nobody got time for dat

[crederer]

I hear what you're saying OP. Most guys that complain for not being able to meet women are probably not the most out going and a bit "nerdy" as they say. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with being "nerdy" they are probably the most interesting guys I know. Just saying, I hear what you're geting at.

[crederer]

The reality is, at the end of the day, you just gotta be yourself all around and eventually, the right person will come along. it may take longer than the average guy, but it'll come.

 

That's not to say that trying to dress nice or change up your style means you're not being "yourself". Everyone has to put their best foot forward.