nightporter Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 It's been over 3 months since my girlfriend of 5 years left me. Every time I think I'm making progress towards getting over it I start to think about her and then feel I have to start all over again. Is it normal to feel worse as time goes on rather than feeling better? People say things get worse before getting better, is this true? Does anyone have any experience of this? I've tried the whole meeting new people thing but it just feels forced and I end up feeling worse and missing her more. Hooking up with anyone else just makes me realize how special she was. I've been through things like this before and I keep telling myself it will get easier but right now I genuinely feel like the rest of my life will be and endless struggle to keep her out of my head. Im pretty sure she is with someone else now and kills me to think about it ... 1
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 It's been over 3 months since my girlfriend of 5 years left me. Every time I think I'm making progress towards getting over it I start to think about her and then feel I have to start all over again. Is it normal to feel worse as time goes on rather than feeling better? People say things get worse before getting better, is this true? Does anyone have any experience of this? I've tried the whole meeting new people thing but it just feels forced and I end up feeling worse and missing her more. Hooking up with anyone else just makes me realize how special she was. I've been through things like this before and I keep telling myself it will get easier but right now I genuinely feel like the rest of my life will be and endless struggle to keep her out of my head. Im pretty sure she is with someone else now and kills me to think about it ... Its just still too early. Five years is a long time and you are not going to get over it in three months that just how it is. SOME people can, but most don't. My advice: Dont date yet. Dont try and see anyone yet and just keep working on you. When you are ready, you will know. It wont feel forced. 1
Fufu Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 Only 3 months, don't be too hard on yourself. It's totally normal to still miss your ex very much at this stage. You will gradually get over her and the break up. Anyway, you don't have to push yourself to meet new people too, take it easy. 1
organizedchaos Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 It's been over 3 months since my girlfriend of 5 years left me. Every time I think I'm making progress towards getting over it I start to think about her and then feel I have to start all over again. Is it normal to feel worse as time goes on rather than feeling better? People say things get worse before getting better, is this true? Does anyone have any experience of this? I've tried the whole meeting new people thing but it just feels forced and I end up feeling worse and missing her more. Hooking up with anyone else just makes me realize how special she was. I've been through things like this before and I keep telling myself it will get easier but right now I genuinely feel like the rest of my life will be and endless struggle to keep her out of my head. Im pretty sure she is with someone else now and kills me to think about it ... As mentioned, 5 years is a long time and you're not going to move past that in 3 months. I'd give it 6. And yes, it's harder now because the reality that it's really over is setting in at this point.
Chi townD Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 Dude, you're three months out of a 5 YEAR relationship! That's nothing! That's a drop in the bucket! You need to give yourself time! You barely even begun to heal from this. So, don't force it! You don't need to hook up with other girls right now if it doesn't feel right. That's not fair to you or the girl that you're with. You don't need to force yourself on anything. Feeling comfortable around others will come in time. Especially when you're not looking for anything other than going out and enjoying a noght out on the town. 1
Author nightporter Posted October 25, 2013 Author Posted October 25, 2013 Thanks for the comments. The weird thing is I've already been telling myself all the things that you guys have said. I guess sometimes things just make more sense when coming from other people. I need to stop treating it like a competition. Just because she is ready to see other people doesnt mean I have to be, right?? 1
Chi townD Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 Thanks for the comments. The weird thing is I've already been telling myself all the things that you guys have said. I guess sometimes things just make more sense when coming from other people. I need to stop treating it like a competition. Just because she is ready to see other people doesnt mean I have to be, right?? Absolutely! Dude, you need to make positive changes in your life. Get out and do things. Travel around and see different things, different people, different cultures. Now is the time to be a little SELFISH! And it's okay to do that. Re-discover yourself, get to know you again! You've been tied to her so long, you forgot what YOU are like on your own! Now, I'm not saying that you need to be a hermit. Go out on the town! Take a pretty girl with you, but have the attitude that it's JUST GOING OUT TO HAVE FUN AND NOTHING MORE!!!! No pressure, no expectations. Grab some friends and plan a long get away weekend somewhere. Take a cooking class, or photography class. Join a running club or co-ed sports. There are so many things you can do with your time in a positive way.
Mario79 Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 I feel for you, and feel a little ashamed as my relationship was only 2 years and change, I tried going out with someone and just felt strange during the entire time. Ive been apart from my ex for 6 months and but broke NC in a dissastrous way back in September and got shot down horribly. I hope you get better, but itd be better if you dont see anyone I would say as well. It is a constant struggle.
Recommended Posts