ConfusedInOC Posted December 11, 2004 Posted December 11, 2004 Uhhh, man, she just IM'd me asking all sorts of questions. Ins't that nice?!
bebop Posted December 11, 2004 Posted December 11, 2004 After a bit of a hassle last year with an online pest met through another forum, I ceased doing any and all I.M.s, AIMS, ALL of it. My life is so peaceful now. I was happy before all this stuff was invented, and I'm even happier now to have gotten rid of it. It's so bleeping intrusive. I love your sig line, by the way.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted December 11, 2004 Author Posted December 11, 2004 Originally posted by bebop After a bit of a hassle last year with an online pest met through another forum, I ceased doing any and all I.M.s, AIMS, ALL of it. My life is so peaceful now. I was happy before all this stuff was invented, and I'm even happier now to have gotten rid of it. It's so bleeping intrusive. It's ok, her tune has changed a lot. It's amazing what 5 days of Eff Yew will do to someone when they fear you've forgotten about them. I love your sig line, by the way. Thanks. It rings true.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted December 11, 2004 Author Posted December 11, 2004 Oh jeez is she apologetic or what? ! I thought maybe this would happen after a month, not 5 days. She's apologizing, saying she misses me and you know what? I am playing hard to get...
tokyo Posted December 11, 2004 Posted December 11, 2004 Yeah, be careful, people who don´t know what they want always seem to play games. Unless she´s proposing to you, be cool 1
alphamale Posted December 11, 2004 Posted December 11, 2004 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Oh jeez is she apologetic or what? ! I thought maybe this would happen after a month, not 5 days. She's apologizing, saying she misses me and you know what? I am playing hard to get... playing hard to get is a good idea, if u take her back to quickly then she won't have to do any work and your percieved "value" will plummet.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted December 11, 2004 Author Posted December 11, 2004 Originally posted by kooky Yeah, be careful, people who don´t know what they want always seem to play games. Unless she´s proposing to you, be cool That's the plan. Trust me, she was in tears when I was through with her last night. She felt like crap. But she needed to understand my pain. She knows she is on thin ice. No communication with her for 5 days woke her up. We'll see.....
tokyo Posted December 12, 2004 Posted December 12, 2004 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC That's the plan. Trust me, she was in tears when I was through with her last night. She felt like crap. But she needed to understand my pain. She knows she is on thin ice. No communication with her for 5 days woke her up. We'll see..... You´re aware, you´re not supposed to blackmail her into a relationship. And better stop applying so much pressure. Just because you are starting to feel the winner, doesn´mean she´ll come back and if you start to misbehave, be sure she´ll be out before you can say: I do.
scoping Posted December 12, 2004 Posted December 12, 2004 i just have a quick question about no contact.. If my ex is on my messenger, and i sign on so that we're both online at the same time.. but don't talk... is the fact that in a sense we kinda know what the other is up to (ie. when we're online and at home etc) still no contact?
Author ConfusedInOC Posted December 12, 2004 Author Posted December 12, 2004 Originally posted by scoping i just have a quick question about no contact.. If my ex is on my messenger, and i sign on so that we're both online at the same time.. but don't talk... is the fact that in a sense we kinda know what the other is up to (ie. when we're online and at home etc) still no contact? I stayed hidden from her view for 5 days. On the fifth day, I made myself available. It's up to you. I didn't even know she was online (she was hidden too) but she made first contact. Kooky, I'm with you. No blackmail, it was more like "I'm tired of the BS games" speech.
bebop Posted December 12, 2004 Posted December 12, 2004 Originally posted by scoping i just have a quick question about no contact.. If my ex is on my messenger, and i sign on so that we're both online at the same time.. but don't talk... is the fact that in a sense we kinda know what the other is up to (ie. when we're online and at home etc) still no contact? Good question. Think of it this way - At a party or gathering, if you are in one room and the ex is in another, and you both know that, it gets squirmy. Absolutely the same for online. If you're aware of each other then it's a secondary form of contact. No contact means exactly that - I'd get invisible in a hurry.
scoping Posted December 12, 2004 Posted December 12, 2004 hmmm verrrryyyy good point bebop, thanks for that perspective! i guess i didn't really think of it that way. u mentioned that u don't use any of the IM's... i wish i could get rid of them too, but its become sooo addictive :S Also just wanted to say.. confusedinoc.. congrats on her msging you. play it smart
DESI Posted December 12, 2004 Posted December 12, 2004 My ex is always online, I go on, and see him online. I never im him. We did maybe 3 times, never about anything important and the last one was a fight. I have blocked him so that he can't see that I am on, did that for about a month, but now he isn't blocked anymore. My parents think I am stalking him, because I go online and he is online, that is not stalking!! When we first broke up he had all these away messages that sais stuff like I wish you were here with me, or getting ready for my 2 hour mack session, I knew he was with someone else. That was after we were broken up for about 1 week. I guess it is comforting when I see him online for hours, I mean if he is talking to a girl he could always just call her, when we were together we never chatted online. It was always through the phone. I thought maybe he took me off his aim list, but I signed on his a few months ago, and I was still on his buddy list, don't know why, he never calls, or anything.
qismat Posted December 12, 2004 Posted December 12, 2004 My parents think I am stalking him, because I go online and he is online, that is not stalking!! my problem is that sometimes i actually go on, just to see if he's on... we haven't talked for a while.. but i feel kind of stalkder-ish when i actually check up on him like that. i don't know how i get any comfort from it... actually i don't... but its become such a habbit to do it every now and then :S
bebop Posted December 12, 2004 Posted December 12, 2004 It can and does get addictive. I'm lucky in that I'm old enough to have spent most of my life without all these little communications toys - people always dealt with each other face to face or on the phone B.C.T. Before Communications Toys. I like it that way. I got thoroughly sick of AIM, etc., in a hurry. Every single time I went on the comp. there were fifty people there hanging around wanting to yackety yack yack yack. I was on for business purposes. I found it incredibly intrusive and annoying. I felt quite naked as well, what with seemingly the entire world knowing when I was on. Plus I picked up an absolute pest who would not leave me alone. He was harmless but Always There, yuck. I got rid of it all, plus totally changed out e-mail everything, server accounts, etc., and I LOVE it, it's very, very freeing. I see my friends and associates in person, that's my preference.
Pendawn Posted December 13, 2004 Posted December 13, 2004 I'm beggining to think IMs are maybe an okay thing, I just had a similar experience. I nearly always leave my messenger connected and I was away from computer when I my ex IMed me saying hello. I spoke to him but it was the oddest feeling in the world, he was chatting like we were just friends catching up and that infuriated me. I asked him if he was happier now we've broken up he said he was still unsure because he missed me. I couldn't chat for long because it was just killing me. However will have to see him next weekend to exchange stuff, hopefully we can have a good chat then. I want to stay in control and not cry, and if he hasn't changed his mind I shall bring in no contact because I see speaking to him lets him have his cake and eat it too. He gets to be broken up but still have me as his best friend, and that just isn't going to work for me. Not sure if it made me feel betetr or worse talking online. Liked the fact he couldn't see me crying etc and that I was able to ask him things I might not ask face to face, and nice to know he still cares about me. But it hurts a lot.
bebop Posted December 13, 2004 Posted December 13, 2004 I'll bet it does. I'm so much happier without all the e-bells and whistles but that's just me. Casual e-chitchat with my fiance, ex-fiance, whatever the hell he is now, would be totally unacceptable and painful for me.
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