SMALLTOWNBLUES Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 (edited) Hey Gang, This is where my user handle rings true. Living in a small town, obviously my ex and I would have to split mutual friends. What I'm bothered about is that my ex's new bf and I have a lot of mutual friends (w/o actually having met ourselves). That is not really a big deal but my oldest friend that is a girl has befriended my ex and they are all up on each other's social media and it was really weird b/c I went to visit my friend the other day and she wanted to go places my ex and her new guy hang out at alot and I said I wasn't really wanting to go there and my friend said, "don't worry, Kelsey (the ex) is out of town," and I said "oh." She said it in a way that was like they had been hanging out the night before. This hurts b/c my ex cheated on me and ripped my heart out and this friend has been acting like she is totally there for me....the other thing is my ex was very jealous of our friendship and always talked trash on this girl... I don't really want to say anything to my friend about it....but I am considering just not hanging out with her anymore. Thoughts? Don't want to be childish but don't really sit well hanging out with anyone who is buddying up to my ex. Also thoroughly annoying she hangs out with the "friend" my ex cheated on me with regularly...they hang out regularly and she has told me I should forgive him. I get that people make mistakes but I've been friends with this girl for 15 years. I thought loyalty came into play somewhere... Edited October 25, 2013 by SMALLTOWNBLUES
Janni Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 Sounds to me like your friend doesn't understand how you are feeling and what you are going through. Based on that, I personally would distance myself from her. I have a friend who's started saying hurtful comments about my absence in class. I've talked a lot with her about what I'm going through - Called her crying a lot of times. And it seems she doesn't get it any way. So I am distancing myself from her, because it only makes me hurt more, that someone I thought was a good friend, acts as if I should get on with life and blames/insults me.
Lost_Dragon Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 It all depends on how much value you put on your friendships. If someone that you value is hurting your feelings then open up to them before going cold on them. Otherwise, do the math. I've been there..
Author SMALLTOWNBLUES Posted October 25, 2013 Author Posted October 25, 2013 I told her once before I didn't like it and she said she was a grownup and could be friends with anyone she wanted and that she had cheated on her bf before and that if she hadnt been given forgiveness she wouldnt have been able to make friends or move forward....which I understand. I'm more personally pissed she hangs out with my ex and her new bf and the guy she cheated on me with more than me. I kind of don't like being around anybody that is friends with them and could tell me at the drop of a hat how crazy head over heels she is for her new guy or how cool she is, cos I know the real her. I know what she's capable of. She twisted some things to make herself appear like a good girl and maybe she is one now, but I just don't feel good about so called friends treating me like im the one who needs to get over it. I want to and am trying, just bc my ex hopped from relationship to relationship in 3 months after our breakup doesnt mean that I should do the same.
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