una_lala Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 Why is this so hard? I have to fight off the urge to write him on an hourly basis. We used to talk multiple times every day. I have gone a week before without talking to him when we were in a fight.. this feels so different.
Lessons Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 (edited) Hi, Una, I'm sorry you are in pain, but you are doing the right thing for both yourself and xMM. It hurts so much because this man has completely owned your head and heart for four years - and his absence is bound to leave a huge, gaping hole in your life. It may be different this time because you are actually starting to face the fact that you have no future with him - and his recent behavior has certainly proved that. NC feels like a death at first - especially when you are accustomed to multiple daily contacts - but it is absolutely the quickest and most effective way to free yourself from the agony that this affair has brought you. At the beginning of NC, you are torn: If he contacts you, part of you is thrilled but you know that you will start the cycle of pain and loss all over again, and if he doesn't, you convince yourself he doesn't really love you and that makes you feel even worse!! That's why BLOCKING him is so important . . . by not knowing how he is feeling (keeping NC or trying to suck you back in), you can focus on your own healing and not have to deal with his feelings, too. It also gives you a tremendous feeling of control - something that is in very short supply when you are in an A. The first week of NC is the hardest, but I promise it gets easier! I am on day nine NC - but this time is SOOOO much easier than every other time we have tried to break up . . . because blocking him has given me the peace of mind to look forward and move on instead of frantically checking my phone/email all day long and wondering what xMOM is thinking/feeling. Stay strong, try to keep busy, and be good to yourself. . . there is a beautiful new life - and a husband you still love - waiting for you at the end of this tunnel. Edited October 25, 2013 by Lessons Remembered the husband 1
Author una_lala Posted October 25, 2013 Author Posted October 25, 2013 Thanks Lessons - I know you're right. I'm trying to stay strong. It's always easier in the morning.
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