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Posted

I've explained before in other threads that eventually I would have to break NC in order to solve some issues over bills and stuff. Anyways, this week was being kinda hard. I was missing him very badly. Im ashamed to say it but Im begining to think im developing a drinking problem. A bottle of wine everyday cant be a reasonable amount of alcohol.

Well, the thing is I broke NC just yesterday and he was kind of a jerk. Actually he behaved like he used to when we were together. And then it hit me.

Is it possible that the only reason i feel like i still love him is because i've idealized him in my head? Because the moment i contacted him and he was an ass, i remembered he used to be an ass most of the time. And somehow i sort of forgot how bad he made me feel acting like that.

Dont know maybe im just rambling. What do u guys think? Do i have a point? Has it ever happened to you too?

Posted

Firstly, stop drinking a bottle a day. Secondly, sort out your bills and stuff. I have no thirdly.

Posted

Youve definetely have some kind of strong emotions attached to him. I know how you feel. If he is hurting you are putting yourself in danger and should really consider talking to someone who could counsel you.

 

What I think is your self esteem is low, and are not giving yourself the worth you deserve. I know how it feels to want to break NC, my mom was telling me that it was almost like an addiction where you are trying so hard not to but you just want to so much that once you break contact is like you got your fix of something that you know is not working out.

 

You at least are on the right track if you yourself can see he is being an ass.

Posted

If he used to be an ass all the time, you'll be so much better without him. Don't drink that much. He really doesn't deserve all of your pain.

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