Author Busybee1 Posted December 27, 2013 Author Posted December 27, 2013 I had a similar kinda experience too m8. I fell for a Slovakian woman who made a beeline towards me the first time we met. I thought i was the luckiest guy alive. I let her move in with me and we lived together for 15 months. She was totally possessive of me and i seemed to be her life, she was complete. I did nothing but boost her confidence everyday, told her she was bdoesn't ful, taught her English, basically did my utmost to make her feel loved, protected and cared for everyday. She too, (and this is DEFINITELY A EASTERN EUROPEAN THING) hadconcienceFINITELYovakian 'friends' who would call her regularly and message her etc. That bothered me at first, but i vowed not to become Jealous. Anyways, i never questioned her when she stayed weekends at these male 'friends' houses. Fast forward to the 15 month, i could feel the relationship had become a little rocky, lack of communication from us both, and the general recession was taking its toll. At least, that was my understanding. Anyway, she came back from a christening (Special Slovak Christening) that i was not invited too. She was very cold and wouldnt even kiss me on return. I put up with it for a week and did my thing (Working at home online). She was incessantly facebooking what i assumed was a new Slovak from from that christening. Well, curiosity got the better of me and i opened her facebook (THE ONLY TIME EVER I SNOOPED) And BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM. She was heartlessly reminicsing with some guy half her age about the great sex they had, and jovially joking about whether it went undetected..... I was ****ing destroyed... I woke her up and kicked her out at 3 a.m. She wasnt even apolegtic and simply left. After 5 following weeks of calls from her about Nothing, i started NC, that was 14 months AGO. She went from this amazing East European woman who loved this English man to death, to a cold hearted cheating bitch out of nowhere. Some people have tried to tell me, it was perhaps my fault, she got bored etc, BULL****. I was nothing short of amazing to her throughout the 15 months. Anyways, it turns out, that some of these male friends she would 'socialise' with, she was actually ****ing too. While i was destroyed, alone on christmas, mourning, like you, she had already found her new catch, the husband of her best friend..... And they are still together... So OP, realise, these Eastern European woman are culturally very different to us over in west Europe. My experience of them, and i have dated ALOT of them, is they are emotionally detached in relationships, they seem to go from one relationship to the next pretty quickly and they hold different values and morals when it comes to relationships. They are very tough, resilient and strong headed. They are very beautiful too lol. One thing that bothers me still about my own situation, is her other Eastern female friends, who became close to me this last year. They didnt seem to think my ex's betrayals was a big deal, and it was something i certainly should have gotten over in a few weeks/months. Anyways, i hope my own story gives you a little comfort knowing that i have similiar pain and shared grief. You gotta stay no contact man, and accept that she isnt the one for you. Thanks for reply. That at least rests my suspicions that they have a less emotional heartless side. I dont think mine was that bad tbh. But I guess in the long run it wouldn't have worked out. She had been through numerous relationships before and i often heard her telling her friends that she hoped shed finally found 'the one'. I guess i should feel sorry for her next victim. Still, it still doesn't stop the fact I fell totally for her and would never want anything bad to happen to her Will stick to English girls in future. At least they have a warm heart and a concience. Good memories are hard to block out however.
fixing Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 Exactly man. I dont mean to sound racist.... I have had two long term relationships. The first was a gorgous English girl for 5 years. That ended because of my own short comings. When it came to this slovakian girl, i vowed to NEVER make any mistakes like with my Ex. I did everything right. It still wasnt enough! And im a good looking guy, strong, passionate and caring too!!! (Im not arrogant btw lol) But with my Slovakian Ex, it turns out, she has bounced from relationship to relationship the entire last decade. I have dated many many Eastern girls. And, all of them had either just broken up with an Irish guy, or they were cheating on them with me, trying to anyways. (As soon as i knew they were in a relationship i walked) I always felt though too, that the Polish, Lithuanians, Slovaks, Russian girls, they were only ever really interested in their own men for marriage, making families. It always felt that when they dated us English/ Irish (Im in Ireland now) that was only for fun, short term, temp contracts lol!!! Sorry if i come off racist, i do not mean to be. Eastern European woman are bloody beautiful and sexy and cool, but this is my experience and i have a lot!
fixing Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 I just re read what i wrote and it comes across very sexist and racist. I apologise, i should say, this is solely based on my very small experience of dating both sexually and emotionally approx 10-12 woman from Eastern Europe. So i shouldnt be using blanket statements. Maybe, i gravitated towards the more hardened colder types of girls. I dont know. Im quite biased now i suppose.
Author Busybee1 Posted December 27, 2013 Author Posted December 27, 2013 (edited) No don't worry. I know exactly what you mean. I have noticed however, talking to other eastern european girls that they are often quick to judge and criticise others, then get very angry if they themselves get the same back. No analysis or looking from the other persons point of view at all. ... which is a shame. I always like to look from anothers pov if they take offense in something I've said or done. I sent her an xmas card. I cant do any more. She will always be a very nice memory to me. Can't get her out of my mind im probably just another notch on her bedpost. Edited December 27, 2013 by Busybee1
fixing Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 Thats very true. Alsmot all the Eastern girls i talked to, especially here in Ireland, they completely mocked and took the piss out of the Irish men. And criticised the Irish girls. Also, they all seemed to think we are nothing but animals and pissheads. That started to bother me, as it insults me too, even though i dont drink, they are my own countrymen. I started stooping to my ex's level and went overboard a few times and dissed their own countries history (Childish i know, but i was offended) Anyways, i know m8, they do seem very judgemental. I know its hard, but, at least she didnt cheat and run off with someone else etc. So chalk it up to experience. But, for now, force yourself from thinking of the fond memories because you are reliving the pain of not being with her. You will get over this, focus on your son now. Go no contact, delete her numbers and block her. That way, you wont live in hope that the next call could be her. Its hard, but thats life. Better to have loved and lost, then to have not loved at all.
Author Busybee1 Posted December 27, 2013 Author Posted December 27, 2013 Thanks for support. Think it will take a long time however. She was soooo nice until the end .... as my friends keep telling me, her loss. (Although that doesn't really help)
fixing Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 im probably just another notch on her bedpost Lol, sad but true. When my ex was taking the last of her stuff away, she quickly grabbed my only recent photograph of me! I thought that was nice and she must love me still, but in reality, its just another keepsake for her, a memory to look back on! Reminds me, that when i first met her, she went through all of her photos of her ex and an ex before that. So, we are literally gonna be slung into the archives. Try to stay strong man, you gotta stop this yearning for her though. Thats very unhealthy, you are reliving the past, and thats like picking at an open wound. In time, you will look back and see what happened and realise it was not your fault. You did your best, nothing more you could have done. Its her with the issue.
fixing Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 Thanks for support. Think it will take a long time however. She was soooo nice until the end .... as my friends keep telling me, her loss. (Although that doesn't really help) You must realise, that this is so true! Whatever next man she is with, it will never be YOU. He can never fill your shoes. You obviously did something right! Now, you need to cherish yourself, love yourself again. **** her, let her live her life. She no longer has the privilege of having you by her side, to protect and love her, and that, IS HER HER LOSS.
Author Busybee1 Posted December 27, 2013 Author Posted December 27, 2013 You must realise, that this is so true! Whatever next man she is with, it will never be YOU. He can never fill your shoes. You obviously did something right! Now, you need to cherish yourself, love yourself again. **** her, let her live her life. She no longer has the privilege of having you by her side, to protect and love her, and that, IS HER HER LOSS. Thanks thats a positive way of looking at it. I just wish she didn't park near my house often. It makes the healing process that much harder.
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