After Nearly Four Months, EX Says She Wants To Meet Tonight - What Could This MEAN??

[Fufu]

I'm so hurt. She was cold the entire time, like this arrogant sort of face but yet very awkward. She asked if I was seeing anyone and when I said 'no' she told me she was seeing a couple people and one of them was my former friend who I suspected her of liking anyway. I can't believe this. Why would she drag me out in public to tell me that? She also wanted to ask me if I was making enough money to help pay back a debt her mother helped us with when we were together (I was against her mother being involved in that and asked her NOT to cover it for us, but she did it anyway). When I asked if her mother was hounding her about it she said, 'no, not at all'.

 

Why would she do this? What is her motivation for this? She was also dressed extremely provocative. She was the one who dumped me, why would she do this to me and hurt me in telling me about my friend?

 

 

Never meet an ex unless one is ready to face the consequences. Anyway, be glad that you also see her TRUE SELF. Cut her out of your life and focus on yourself.

[Tarleton82]

I just wish someone, preferably a female could tell me what her motivation for doing this would be. Why would she ask to "meet her for a drink", get my hopes up and then do this? And this wasn't someone I was with for a couple of months, this was FIVE YEARS and ENGAGED. I don't understand this.

[Haydn]

She wanted to rub your nose in it and let you know how wonderful her life is. Yes i would have met my ex as well. Its a very hard time for us in this situation. I feel for you. But i agree with most of the others, dont let her snap her fingers and you go running. I did all these things and trust me your misery will increase. Take care.

[Zoe Lilith]

I can't imagine why she would be acting like that. Maybe she is just testing you, testing your patience...making sure how many times can she walk over you for you to fnally say, "enogh!"

[JDPT]

Just wants to torture you a little. As stated, she will like to disclose how wonderful her life and confirm that she made the right decision and that life is much better now.

[Tarleton82]

Is her life really going that well or is just an act? At this point, I really want some form of revenge but there's nothing I could do that would matter. And I don't really care to hear "Oh, well living well is the best revenge of all."

 

Her life can't be going that well.

[Tarleton82]

You all keep saying that "she just wanted to rub your nose in it" and things like that, but isn't that something the DUMPEE does??? Why would someone dump you, go with a former friend and then rub your face in it? What the hell is her motivation? And I completely handled it so stupidly. I just played right into it and followed her to her truck like a puppy in defeat.

 

I feel so stupid and so hurt.

[shortee]

Shes a jerk. You want revenge. Go take your cat back from her. At least do that.

[Tarleton82]

I can't. I can't just go to her house and get it. It doesn't work like that. Plus, there are no papers for him with either of our names on it because he was a barn cat given to us by a friend as a kitten.

[Tarleton82]

I mean, I'm not trying to be a pest on here but I really would like someone to give a logical insight to why she might be behaving this way. As hurt and angry as I am I would still like to know the logic behind it.

[Chi townD]

You all keep saying that "she just wanted to rub your nose in it" and things like that, but isn't that something the DUMPEE does??? Why would someone dump you, go with a former friend and then rub your face in it? What the hell is her motivation? And I completely handled it so stupidly. I just played right into it and followed her to her truck like a puppy in defeat.

 

I feel so stupid and so hurt.

 

She has to convince herself that breaking up with you was the right thing to do. Plus, you were in NC, she had no way of knowing what you were doing with your life. She knew that she was sleeping around with a couple of people, including your friend.

 

Did you notice that one of the first questions she asked you was if you were seeing someone else? If you were dating? She was hoping beyond hope that your were so she didn't have to feel as guilty by acting like a whore.

 

You can get your revenge though. The best revenge you can get is to lead a damn good life.

 

And another thing? Go into NC and stick to it. Even if she texts or emails...ignore it. Just remember this time and how it makes you feel.

[Tarleton82]

But if she didn't want to feel guilty and I told her "no, I'm not seeing anyone else" (which I'm not) then wouldn't she refrain from telling me she's seeing people??

 

DOes anyone on here think she has ANY, ANY ounce of guilt or remorse of any of this? Anyone? As evil as I want to believe she is, she is human. I asked her if she still cared about me and her answer was "I don't wish any ill will towards you".

 

How can you say that to someone who you were with for five years? I never cheated and I was never abusive.

[Zoe Lilith]

Honestly, few days ago, there was nothing I wouldn't have done to make my ex (who dumped me on the most horrible way possible), come back to me..I even thought making up a plan how to do that and not to look pathetic. I thought of contacting him (after I begged him to talk to me and he refused), to pretend that I don't want his laptop he left here, last time we were together. I thought of thanking him for NOT wanting to recnocile, because I found the most wonderful person, etc. I wanted to do that to see if he cared, if it would make him suffer somehow.....lol...This is so pathetic and sad. I realize that, I always knew that. Luckely, I haven't done that, I was seriously determined to do so, but for some reason I didn't...I think I was interupted by a phone call or something like that..I am being honest, and I know how pathetic I was, I stll don't know whether to cry or laugh about it... I am trying to say, maybe her brain "works" like mine...to think of the most hurtful way to say to your ex, to see how much they care..Whatever the reason, don't bother with that anymore, people like that are not worth any of your tme. Yes, I almost did the same thing, and I will still repeat: Women like that are nasty, rude and don't think clearly...I spoke here honestly and as a woman who desperatelly wanted an ex back.. but not every woman is the same.

[Gretl]

She is very sadistic and recommend that you keep NC and work on yourself. You sound like a great guy and you deserve a lot better than this and I know your mind battles to understand this right now but in due time you will look back and know that you made the right decision to stay away from her.

[Tarleton82]

I appreciate the thoughts and comments guys. What tortures me the most is she's a very sexual person and very attractive. I'm a decent looking fella but I'm not the best looking. It kills me and tortures me so much to know she was flaunting that in my face (hope she's happy, it worked) and to know what its like to be in bed with her, that she's now giving that to others, including someone who was a mutual friend for a few years.

 

I just want to believe that months later, year, or years from now, she will not be like this. I don't understand how she can be like this. She was never EVER like this to me for five years, until the breakup. I don't understand it .

 

I just want to know if she has any guilt or not.

[Tarleton82]

Zoe, I appreciate your insight but it sounds like you were not the dumper. Sounds like you were dumped. This girl LEFT me, after five years AND gave me back the engagement ring. I'm trying to understand why a woman dumper would do this. And I know, she's "sadistic" but I am hoping someone with experience as a mean dumper would understand why she would do that. And if there's any guilt she has over it

 

I know there's no real way to know, but it would help if someone had the same experience from the other end and could maybe explain that person's mindset.

[Simon Phoenix]

I mean, I'm not trying to be a pest on here but I really would like someone to give a logical insight to why she might be behaving this way. As hurt and angry as I am I would still like to know the logic behind it.

 

You are trying to find logic in the illogical. Complete waste of time.

[Zoe Lilith]

I stated that I am the dumpee. But I don't think that matters. She might have feelings for you, she told you that she is with someone else (which I think is a lie), maybe she realised her mistake, but she is not going to admit that, she wants you to make that first step, to bend over backwards (even though SHE dumped YOU) and ask her back or to reasure her that you'll always be there for her. She was expecting different reaction from you, like jealousy or panic, even...If I didn't want any conatct with a person, I wouldn't be asking about the paying back the money borrowed from a family member, because that would be another reason for yet another contact...I might be wrong, I am just sharing my opinion...Women have strange ways of showng ther feelings after realising certain facts (after a break up regardless, dumper or not). They want to get what they believe they deserve, which makes every woman exciting and at times a bit dangerous.

[Tarleton82]

I wish you were right, and to an outside viewer it might seem that way, but it is not a lie, she is really with that former friend of mine. I got confirmation on that. That's a fact and is happening. And i suspected she had a crush on him during our relationship.

 

I did do the begging thing, over and over. And pleaded and begged for her to take me back. Now I regret doing it.

[Zoe Lilith]

..unless she is a psychopath, she regrets it. Then, there is the fact that she asked about a loan, after 5 months?? If it was that important to her, she would have mentioned it much earlier, why is she doing it now...there must be something she wants, maybe to reasure herself once more...Whatever the reason, stay away from her. As someone already said, you do seem like a nice person, and you deserve better. I know you don't want to hear this but, there are amazing, good hearted women out there whose love and intentions are sincere. Let her go, give all the love you still have for that woman, to someone who deserves it and who is going to give their best to make and keep you happy, no matter under what circumstances.

[Tarleton82]

Thanks Zoe. The loan was not necessarily a loan, and she did ask for it before, too. The problem is we had a small amount of debt that we could have handled ourselves in time, but her mother (who IS psychotic and controlling) told us she would pay it and we would pay her back - with "interest". LOL. So, naturally I was dead against this. I didn't want it, and made it very clear to her mother at the time that I did not want that.

 

I even asked her the other night, after not seeing her for so long and she asked me about payments I asked, "is your mother hounding you about it still"? Her answer? "No, not at all, actually".

 

What. The. Frig.

[Simon Phoenix]

What are you trying to figure out here? She sucks. You aren't trying to put together a Rubix cube. It's time to move forward.

[Zoe Lilith]

Thanks Zoe. The loan was not necessarily a loan, and she did ask for it before, too. The problem is we had a small amount of debt that we could have handled ourselves in time, but her mother (who IS psychotic and controlling) told us she would pay it and we would pay her back - with "interest". LOL. So, naturally I was dead against this. I didn't want it, and made it very clear to her mother at the time that I did not want that.

 

I even asked her the other night, after not seeing her for so long and she asked me about payments I asked, "is your mother hounding you about it still"? Her answer? "No, not at all, actually".

 

What. The. Frig.

I'm sorry you're going thru this ritual. It shouldn't matter how beautiful and sexual she is, she just isn't worth all your energy and effort. Don't give her that satisfaction.

[Tarleton82]

I just wish she felt remorse for this. Or will. She has been so horrible to me.

[Simon Phoenix]

I just wish she felt remorse for this. Or will. She has been so horrible to me.

 

The more you concentrate on her, the more you detract from you.