Jump to content

After Nearly Four Months, EX Says She Wants To Meet Tonight - What Could This MEAN??

Tarleton82

By Tarleton82
in Breaks and Breaking Up

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Tarleton82 Member

Tarleton82

Posted
Posted

So, my ex fiancee of five years left me for good back in August, it was really nasty. A lot of fighting, nasty, horrible words were said, she kept my cat, all kinds of things. I've posted on here before but its just too long so I'll give you the gist of it.

 

I was DEFINITE, I mean FOR SURE that I was NEVER going to even hear from her again after she got the last of her things. The last time she saw me, when she got the last of her things, she couldn't even look at me in the eye, she was incredibly awkward with me, and just generally overall uncomfortable. And I have been an absolute WRECK. And then, out of nowhere, out the blue, I get a text from her last night saying this:

 

"Hey, do you want to meet up for a drink tomorrow and talk about a few things?"

 

I have no idea what to make of this. I really, really do not want to get my hopes up but what else could it be? I mean, she denied and ignored every past request I made to meet with her during the breakup and said she wasn't even comfortable being around me. (I was never unfaithful or abusive either, so I don't understand). Anyway I don't want to think that this could just be some business-only type meeting, you know, to discuss something of a non-emotional nature. I mean, wouldn't she call me for something like that? Or text? What does this sound like to anyone?

Never Again Established Member

Never Again

Posted
Posted

Best to not expect what it could be.

 

She could just want to relieve some guilt for anything she may have done or said.

 

It may be entirely business.

 

Your cat may have developed hyper-intelligence and be preparing to assassinate a foreign dignitary.

  • Like 3
Assasda Established Member

Assasda

Posted
Posted

If I were you I'd either

 

A. Tell her I dont want to meet up

 

B. Go and meet with her, be totally aloof, just listen to what she says and go back home. and add nothing to the conversation.

  • Author
Tarleton82 Member

Tarleton82

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Lol, good one, Phenixphire.

 

No, I mean, its usually very unlikely that she would, I mean, she's NEVER been the type to initiate much or arrange a meeting of any sort. I don't know. It would seem to me if she wanted to actually meet in public then there must be something there, but, again, I don't want to get my hopes up.

Mario79 Established Member

Mario79

Posted
Posted

Ill get my hopes up for you. :p. But please let us know how it turns out. I mean assuming you are going???

  • Author
Tarleton82 Member

Tarleton82

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Unless she cancels out on me, then yeah, I'm going. At least, I do plan on it.

cavalier99 Established Member

cavalier99

Posted
Posted

That is fuc*in crazy. You shouldnt not go under ANY circumstances. F*ck her. Otherwise your in for a world of hurt guaranteed. Cav

  • Like 2
  • Author
Tarleton82 Member

Tarleton82

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Do you think? Really? Why do you think this?

Mariposa10 Established Member

Mariposa10

Posted
Posted

You should've said you were busy. Not to play games, but to really think it through...

 

Did you instantly say yes?!

KatZee Established Member

KatZee

Posted
Posted
Do you think? Really? Why do you think this?

 

Experience my friend. Experience.

 

She's asking you to get together for most likely one reason: to unload her own issues, her own guilt, and her own feelings that have been simmering for 4 months. She wants to relieve guilt, know you don't hate her, and to get that release so she can move on with no "what ifs."

 

Highly doubt she's contacting you to get back together. She's probably going to pull the, "can we be friends?" card.

  • Like 7
Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

Posted
Posted

KatZee said it all! I wouldn't tell you anything different.

  • Like 1
cavalier99 Established Member

cavalier99

Posted
Posted
Do you think? Really? Why do you think this?

 

Listen bro. Im sorry.. i know i hurts. I can tell you it is best to ignore her completly. trust me. she doesnt want back and if she did shed try a looooottttttttt harder. worry about your recovery. and that includes complete and 100 percent NC with her. if she suffers and cant releive her guilt ...so bet it. now it isnt your problem. who f*ckin tore your heart out in a million peices?????. Dont forget. Stay NC Cav

h0000 Established Member

h0000

Posted
Posted

maybe just text her " what do you want to talk about, I will see if im interested." and if its nothing substantial just say to her " sorry im not interested. have a good day"

aybc123 Established Member

aybc123

Posted
Posted

she probably regrets how things ended and wants to mend some fences so she can move on guilt free.

 

it may be that you want that to happen too down the line so it might not be such a bad thing. providing you have enough emotional distance after 4 months for the disappointment that it isn't her coming back for good to set you back.

 

you're going to go no matter what anyone says so just be prepared for it to be her asking to be friends and not for her tearfully begging you to come back.

organizedchaos Established Member

organizedchaos

Posted
Posted
maybe just text her " what do you want to talk about, I will see if im interested." and if its nothing substantial just say to her " sorry im not interested. have a good day"

 

Yeah. If my ex ever sent me a text like that my response would be something along the lines of "why?"

Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

Posted
Posted
maybe just text her " what do you want to talk about, I will see if im interested." and if its nothing substantial just say to her " sorry im not interested. have a good day"

 

 

Well, I wouldn't put it like that myself. I would do something like, "Umm... a little busy, what's this about?"

 

If she says, nevermind. Then, it wasn't important. Move on. If she says "for closure" Move on. Basically, she just wants to reaffirm that the relationship didn't work and it was entirely your fault and you don't need to hear that crap

 

Personally, I can tell you that she does want to unload her guilt and try to friend zone you. I would just ignore and move on. Thing is, if she REALLY wanted to talk to you, she knows where you live. Nothing is stopping her from knocking on your door.

KatZee Established Member

KatZee

Posted
Posted

I would love an OP update on this.

  • Author
Tarleton82 Member

Tarleton82

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I'm so hurt. She was cold the entire time, like this arrogant sort of face but yet very awkward. She asked if I was seeing anyone and when I said 'no' she told me she was seeing a couple people and one of them was my former friend who I suspected her of liking anyway. I can't believe this. Why would she drag me out in public to tell me that? She also wanted to ask me if I was making enough money to help pay back a debt her mother helped us with when we were together (I was against her mother being involved in that and asked her NOT to cover it for us, but she did it anyway). When I asked if her mother was hounding her about it she said, 'no, not at all'.

 

Why would she do this? What is her motivation for this? She was also dressed extremely provocative. She was the one who dumped me, why would she do this to me and hurt me in telling me about my friend?

cavalier99 Established Member

cavalier99

Posted
Posted
I'm so hurt. She was cold the entire time, like this arrogant sort of face but yet very awkward. She asked if I was seeing anyone and when I said 'no' she told me she was seeing a couple people and one of them was my former friend who I suspected her of liking anyway. I can't believe this. Why would she drag me out in public to tell me that? She also wanted to ask me if I was making enough money to help pay back a debt her mother helped us with when we were together (I was against her mother being involved in that and asked her NOT to cover it for us, but she did it anyway). When I asked if her mother was hounding her about it she said, 'no, not at all'.

 

Why would she do this? What is her motivation for this? She was also dressed extremely provocative. She was the one who dumped me, why would she do this to me and hurt me in telling me about my friend?

 

Sorry. This is why we dont break NC under any circumstances. It just hands your hard earned power and self respect your gaining right back to them..and for what??? Sucks. Sorry but this is why we give the adivse we do.

 

Weve all seen how these things go over and over again. Now just stay NC for good. Lesson learned. Rock on! Cav.

  • Like 1
shortee Established Member

shortee

Posted
Posted

She has a lot of nerve stealing your cat and then try to hit you up for money. Get your cat back at least. Do not vive her any money. Call her back and tell her to givi your cat back. She sounds really selfish.

aybc123 Established Member

aybc123

Posted
Posted

take it as a complement OP, seems she wants to hurt/ mess with you and 'win' the break up so she at least you actually matter to her. Don't meet her again though.

  • Like 1
BC1980 Established Member

BC1980

Posted
Posted

Jeez, she sounds awful. I'm so sorry that happened to you. All you can do now is go NC and move on. There's no point in ever revisiting this.

  • Like 1
Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

Posted
Posted

Please go NC and never entertain something like this ever again. These meetings are typically brutal, but this one sounds worst than most.

  • Like 1
h0000 Established Member

h0000

Posted
Posted

it seems some exs do like to show their former partners that they have got someone else. I actually dont understand what it gives to them?

why do they have to flaunt to make themselves happy?

  • Like 1
h0000 Established Member

h0000

Posted
Posted

lol are you sure you arent being a little bitter here?

but what you said makes some sense ..it seems they are seeking outside validation that they made the right decision. and if they are truly happy they shouldn't need to go out of the way to let their exs know that they moved on.

i wonder how it would make they feel if the ex actually didnt care anymore..

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...