mygosher Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 so my GF of 7 years broke up(I'm 27, she 26) with me in mid August because she said I wasn't giving her enough attention. This was due to the fact that I was in my home country and she was in ATL with her mom. The plan was that I would set up a house for her in my home country(which I have finally finished) and we would start a family, get married etc. but now she' has distanced herself. This all came as a shock to me as the reason why we weren't talking enough for the last couple months was because of me working and trying to sort things out before she moved to me. In the past we had short breaks but we always got back together. Now I'm thinking with the distance and her just recently getting a new job that she doesn't want to come again. I would go fly and see her but I'm not sure. We are both in love with each other. I have given her some space to sort out her feelings. I haven't contacted her in a month now. She knows I want her to come and live with me etc(get a job here) but she just says that I don't care. I do care alot, we have both been through alot and through each others changes and still made it through.I am hoping that she will come around and get back together. She told a mutual friend that "I should just keep doing what I've been doing, not caring," but the fact is I miss her dearly and want to mend things. My friend say not to contact her, which i have been doing. But I feel the need to since my neglectfulness was the reason for the separation. Not sure what to do This girl and I had a good relationship, traveled all over the place, had fun and fell deeply in love with each other.just these past couple months she said I became a lazy bf, not putting in enough effort. Now that she left I sped up the finishing of the house, but maybe it's too late. I took these weeks and figured out what went wrong, I made the necessary changes(I know she won't believe me) but I want her back into my life. She said to a mutual friend that she doesnt know why I am speeding up fixing the house, when I had all year to do it. Work will get in the way of relationships. I've shifted some priorities and will never neglect her again. any opinions on what to do?
ColdAlone Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 I have one opinion. She sais you don't care, you say you do.... Then you don't speak to her for a month. You might wanna think about that one....
Assasda Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 I think she's seeing someone else. You should stop being a doormat, and move on. I'm sure you can do better. She is selfish
Solcita2 Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 I'd say go to see her, you can0t fix anything in the distance... and if you just let her go without goin you will always regret and wonder what if... I'd give it a last chance... Im a believer that LDR should end in person... looking face to face and saying it's over... or it's only the distance speaking... and now that you have a way to end the distance, when better than now?
ColdAlone Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 I'd say go to see her, you can0t fix anything in the distance... and if you just let her go without goin you will always regret and wonder what if... I'd give it a last chance... Im a believer that LDR should end in person... looking face to face and saying it's over... or it's only the distance speaking... and now that you have a way to end the distance, when better than now? Ye, this... I'm LDR at the moment.... I'll be flying wednesday to see what will happen....
conf Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 7 years relationship which started when she was 19? Yeah... She feels neglected (and for sure there is already someone else who has given her attention). I think she is immature and wants to feel the butterflies again. Maybe she does not know that this feeling does not last forever. Many young women believe that the butterflies indicate that someone is "the one". After this feeling fading out (which is natural) they start to have doubts. Then someone else attract them and he becomes "the one" and so on. Finally someday they understand that this is not love but infatuation... That's all dude... Maybe many years down the road she will return, maybe not. For now, it seems that she has to grow... Imho you cant do anything. Just move on
Author mygosher Posted October 24, 2013 Author Posted October 24, 2013 the fact is that this has happened before. and she blatantly said earlier this year that if she comes to me and lives with me she wants a commitment/ring. I was beating around the bush at that time. She came and stayed with me for 2 months(march,april) the I went up to see her in may. So all of this is strange since its all occurred within the last 2 months. I don't think she is seeing anyone per say, but she always said she doesn't want to continue a LDR, thus my reason for preparing a place for us. She already had her chance to go out and see what else is out there, me also. Ans we ended back together. This whole thing happened because of my procrastination. I learned that I do love her and want to marry her.
Assasda Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 the fact is that this has happened before. and she blatantly said earlier this year that if she comes to me and lives with me she wants a commitment/ring. I was beating around the bush at that time. She came and stayed with me for 2 months(march,april) the I went up to see her in may. So all of this is strange since its all occurred within the last 2 months. I don't think she is seeing anyone per say, but she always said she doesn't want to continue a LDR, thus my reason for preparing a place for us. She already had her chance to go out and see what else is out there, me also. Ans we ended back together. This whole thing happened because of my procrastination. I learned that I do love her and want to marry her. Youre a lost cause. Come back here, when she reveals the other guy to you, and you grovel for her to take you back.
MoooOinkBaaa Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 This is sooo similar to my situation, the ages, the distance, the neglect, the month of ignoring, the house, the commitment. I too thought I should keep contacting her because she broke up with me because I wasn't there for her. It didn't work for me and this girl would of done ANYTHING for me at one point, her biggest fear was losing me. But she quit on me. All I would say is don't think you have a reason to keep contacting her because it will still come across to her as annoying and pestering. At least wait a month, I wish that's what I did. Have a talk with her once, get everything out but don't keep contacting after that. If she loves you she will miss you. Good luck dude.
Assasda Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 This is sooo similar to my situation, the ages, the distance, the neglect, the month of ignoring, the house, the commitment. I too thought I should keep contacting her because she broke up with me because I wasn't there for her. It didn't work for me and this girl would of done ANYTHING for me at one point, her biggest fear was losing me. But she quit on me. All I would say is don't think you have a reason to keep contacting her because it will still come across to her as annoying and pestering. At least wait a month, I wish that's what I did. Have a talk with her once, get everything out but don't keep contacting after that. If she loves you she will miss you. Good luck dude. What happened in your situation?
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