StoneRose84 Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 A few weeks ago I was out with some colleagues of mine, I have started a new job and am getting to know my work mates. Anyway, a guy who've I've liked from afar was there and I was talking to him....in a friendly kinda way I said "fancy going out one weekend?" and I suggested a pub that I liked, that maybe we could go there.....he said "yeah!". We exchanged numbers and that was that, nothing else happened, I didn't message him and vice versa. Carried on seeing him at work as normal....it wasn't mentioned again but I didn't feel bad about it I just assumed he wasn't interested in "that" way. Anyway two days ago he asked if I would come outside with him for a "chat". Worried it was something to do with work etc I went...he was just chit chatting. He started asking about my home life and where I lived etc etc, was I seeing anyone and all this. To which I said no. Then he said "not related to that I was just wondering about that drink and if you wanted to go out this weekend?" to which I said "yes I'd love to"....although have realised that I can't make it....so suggested next weekend and he said he might be away. Am I barking up the wrong tree here???
Assasda Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 You are fickle... you offered one day, and then you cant make it. why even bother suggesting anything? Since youre playing this game with him, it wouldnt surprise me if he just goes out with another girl 1
tlegend Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 You are fickle... you offered one day, and then you cant make it. why even bother suggesting anything? Since youre playing this game with him, it wouldnt surprise me if he just goes out with another girl It's a pet peeve of mine to have plans made and then cancelled. As Assasda said, why bother to have made the plans in the first place?
Lansing Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 For the record she said "one weekend" and he said "this weekend"... She accepted but realized she was busy, perfectly acceptable as long as she makes a counter offer. Schedules get criss-crossed/etc. I think he was interested but he figured you would ask him out because YOU brought up the idea of getting a drink and since you didn't bring it up again he decided to ask you out. 2
tlegend Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 Meh, apparently you did suggest the next weekend. Looks like he may be busy.....but maybe you guys can schedule a brunch or luncheon or something? Best of luck to you! 1
Zahara Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 Why so difficult and can't just go grab a drink after work? Why do you both have to wait for a free weekend?
forgetmenot75 Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 you sound like drama It should be easy!
Author StoneRose84 Posted October 24, 2013 Author Posted October 24, 2013 WOW! I know where to come next time for some critique!! I didn't specify a weekend when I first said it, it was a general question. There was no day/date planned....I'd forgotten it because it had gone so long without being mentioned. He asked me about this weekend, I can't do it due to a pre planned family party. I'm not cancelling pre made plans to go on a "maybe date" with someone!! Why would anyone do that? I suggested the following weekend as an alternative, because I REALLY wanna go out with him, he came back and said he wasn't sure. Dating or trying to freakin date is so much hassle I know why I haven't bothered in a year!
Zahara Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 I'm asking again, why can't you suggest an evening after work? Grab a drink? Why so intent on weekend?
forgetmenot75 Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 Wait for him to decide what to do. You told him this weekend you're busy, and proposed next weekend and he said he might be away... Let him suggest another day/time. IF he doesnt propose it, he's not really interested. 1
tlegend Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 Wait for him to decide what to do. You told him this weekend you're busy, and proposed next weekend and he said he might be away... Let him suggest another day/time. IF he doesnt propose it, he's not really interested. I will respectfully disagree. It has come out that she cancelled these plans (did you tell him why??) and suggested getting together in the future, but not a specific date or time. He could have easily taken this as blowing him off, hence his guarded answer of "I may be busy". My 2 cents.
Zahara Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 Agree with tlegend. He has put himself out there twice. Then you cancel. When he said he would be busy, what stopped you from saying, "Well, let me know when you would be free to go grab that drink. I'm looking forward to it!" Instead of going quiet and not suggesting an alternative?
Author StoneRose84 Posted October 24, 2013 Author Posted October 24, 2013 There was no date agreed!! He asked if I wanted to "pop out" I said I couldn't, suggested an alternative and he said he didn't know! I think I'll go with what forgetmenot75 said.... Thank you xx
Zahara Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 (edited) Then he said "not related to that I was just wondering about that drink and if you wanted to go out this weekend?" I thought he was asking you out for that specific weekend? Then you said canceled. Now you say there was no date agreed? Yes, just wait for him to respond. You're making this so complicated. Edited October 24, 2013 by Zahara
tlegend Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 I thought he was asking you out for that specific weekend? Then you said canceled. Now you say there was no date agreed? Yes, just wait for him to respond. You're making this so complicated. Now the story changes? I'm so confused as well. Don't beat around the bush if you want a straight answer. Tell it as it was please. Because at this point, I have no idea what actually happened anymore, as your post is indicating otherwise. Then he said "not related to that I was just wondering about that drink and if you wanted to go out this weekend?" to which I said "yes I'd love to"....although have realised that I can't make it....so suggested next weekend and he said he might be away. If I am getting this straight: 1) You met a few weeks ago, exchanged numbers 2) Couple of days ago, he asks you out 3) You agree, later realizing you have plans, and cancelled while suggesting the next weekend 4) He said he may be busy And now you're going to ....wait until he decides to chase you? He already did, you cancelled, its your turn to SET a time and date. My 2 cents. 1
Divasu Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 This is what happens when women try to take control of the situation and lead. OP you're acting like a hot mess.
Zahara Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 The fact that he pursued/asked you out TWICE and you start a thread asking, "Did he ask me out" is already baffling. Then you ask if you are barking up the wrong tree? Even more confusing? His intent is pretty blatant. Then you can't give a straight story. It almost seems as if you're too afraid to make the next move. The man is showing interest. If you cancel, offer an alternative. Why so scared to make a move? He shouldn't have to chase you. I mean, he asked if you would be interested to meet, twice! Suit yourself. Sit and hide. 1
Author StoneRose84 Posted October 25, 2013 Author Posted October 25, 2013 I'm not very good at writing things as they happen, clearly! Here is a timeline: one night, out with work people, I say to him "Would you like to go to ....(pub)...with me sometime?". He says "yes". There is no time/date arranged. I then said "can I have your number" he says "yes" and gives me his number, and I give him mine. 2 weeks pass with nothing, only work contact, no text, no flirting, no nothing. go to meetings together, talk about work. That. Is. it. I forget all about it, thinking, well, if he's interested, he'll say. 2 days ago he said "if you did fancy that WORK drink then maybe we could go out this weekend?" I said "yes, I'd love to". (so shocked I can barely speak). I then realise I can not go out this weekend because I am out of town. My bad. I text him to say "can't go out this weekend, forgot have stupid family party to go to. Can you go out next Saturday?" he replies "I might be away but I will let you know. xx" I didn't purposefully say yes then no to be some kind of game player. Neither of us want to go out in the week because we are old(er) than 22 and tired, and if I'm going to the pub, then I'm GOING to the PUB!! haha!
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