longjourney Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 So, I have been talking to WH's coworker to get info on what he does, where he is while working, (free private investigator kinda). We began feeling bad talking behind my WH back, so we told him. WH was furious, and assumed I liked his coworker. I told WH I flirted a bit, to get the coworker to trust me enough to tell me the truth. So ever since then he's been suspicious, I definitely have zero interest in this coworker, like I said I thought of him as a free PI. Anyways, my WH and I got into an argument yesterday and just to piss him off and hurt him, I told him I did have a crush on his coworker because his coworker knew how to make a girl feel cared for, unlike him. He blew up! Called me a dirty slut, a bitch, is saying I had phone sec with him, is avoiding my calls. I am losing it, all this stress with no support, I asked him to be home this weekend cuz I needed a break from the kids. At first he said he will be, but after yesterday he says he is won't be. He called a lawyer. I haven't even seen a lawyer yet! He is acting like I am the one that cheated and betrayed him. He is soooooo angry! I feel like I ruined everything for myself. I am the definition of stupid.
Goodbye Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 So, I have been talking to WH's coworker to get info on what he does, where he is while working, (free private investigator kinda). We began feeling bad talking behind my WH back, so we told him. WH was furious, and assumed I liked his coworker. I told WH I flirted a bit, to get the coworker to trust me enough to tell me the truth. So ever since then he's been suspicious, I definitely have zero interest in this coworker, like I said I thought of him as a free PI. Anyways, my WH and I got into an argument yesterday and just to piss him off and hurt him, I told him I did have a crush on his coworker because his coworker knew how to make a girl feel cared for, unlike him. He blew up! Called me a dirty slut, a bitch, is saying I had phone sec with him, is avoiding my calls. I am losing it, all this stress with no support, I asked him to be home this weekend cuz I needed a break from the kids. At first he said he will be, but after yesterday he says he is won't be. He called a lawyer. I haven't even seen a lawyer yet! He is acting like I am the one that cheated and betrayed him. He is soooooo angry! I feel like I ruined everything for myself. I am the definition of stupid. He is being defensive because he is guilty. If he creates a horrible scene, then you'll back off...or so he thinks (I assume). Not cool. 1
underwater2010 Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 So, I have been talking to WH's coworker to get info on what he does, where he is while working, (free private investigator kinda). We began feeling bad talking behind my WH back, so we told him. WH was furious, and assumed I liked his coworker. I told WH I flirted a bit, to get the coworker to trust me enough to tell me the truth. So ever since then he's been suspicious, I definitely have zero interest in this coworker, like I said I thought of him as a free PI. Anyways, my WH and I got into an argument yesterday and just to piss him off and hurt him, I told him I did have a crush on his coworker because his coworker knew how to make a girl feel cared for, unlike him. He blew up! Called me a dirty slut, a bitch, is saying I had phone sec with him, is avoiding my calls. I am losing it, all this stress with no support, I asked him to be home this weekend cuz I needed a break from the kids. At first he said he will be, but after yesterday he says he is won't be. He called a lawyer. I haven't even seen a lawyer yet! He is acting like I am the one that cheated and betrayed him. He is soooooo angry! I feel like I ruined everything for myself. I am the definition of stupid. I guess you are to laid back, because I would have thrown all those names right back in his face. In other words, "I thought that is what you wanted, since you where the one that cheated." You should thank god you are rid of him.
AlwaysGrowing Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 So, I have been talking to WH's coworker to get info on what he does, where he is while working, (free private investigator kinda). We began feeling bad talking behind my WH back, so we told him. WH was furious, and assumed I liked his coworker. I told WH I flirted a bit, to get the coworker to trust me enough to tell me the truth. So ever since then he's been suspicious, I definitely have zero interest in this coworker, like I said I thought of him as a free PI. Anyways, my WH and I got into an argument yesterday and just to piss him off and hurt him, I told him I did have a crush on his coworker because his coworker knew how to make a girl feel cared for, unlike him. He blew up! Called me a dirty slut, a bitch, is saying I had phone sec with him, is avoiding my calls. I am losing it, all this stress with no support, I asked him to be home this weekend cuz I needed a break from the kids. At first he said he will be, but after yesterday he says he is won't be. He called a lawyer. I haven't even seen a lawyer yet! He is acting like I am the one that cheated and betrayed him. He is soooooo angry! I feel like I ruined everything for myself. I am the definition of stupid. Where did you learn that it is okay to use people to soothe yourself? If you wanted to hire a PI, then do so. To use a co-worker, by flirting no less is wrong. To involve another third party, is also sooo very wrong. Did you think at all how this co-worker would feel, if they knew what you said to your husband about them. Personally, I would be highly offended that I was used to hurt another. You used the same wayward thinking that your husband did. If it was wrong of him, it was just as wrong for you.
cozycottagelg Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 He is being defensive because he is guilty. If he creates a horrible scene, then you'll back off...or so he thinks (I assume). Not cool. Exactly this. 2
Quiet Storm Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 Two wrongs don't make a right. You shouldn't have lied to your husband. Now he will feel justified for cheating. You took the focus of of his actions, where it should be. Now the light is shining on you. You sunk to his level instead of taking the high road. Your integrity should remain intact, regardless of his actions. I know it is hard sometimes, but this kind of stuff always backfires. 2
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