ShyOne82 Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 I have a coworker/friend who I let stay with me temporarily. I told her all my house rules and for some reason she chooses not to abide by them. No eating upstairs is one of them.. I opened her room door and saw old popcorn bags on the floor, empty containers, crumbs, plastic containers with old food inside. I smelled food in her room once and she denied it.. so she lied. On top of that she is bringing MY glassware and dishes in her room when she has her own. I keep my place tidy to avoid bugs. I can go on and on about the rules she has broken.. but yesterday was the last straw.. I exploded. This fool had a guy friend in the bathroom.. I had to take a shower.. when I walked in there the smell of weed blew me away.. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? She denied smoking in there, yet I saw ashes on the toilet. Regardless if she smoked or not.. There were still weed droppings on the floor. She gave me every excuse in the book. Weed should not be in here PERIOD.. the smell seeped out of her room as well. She has no respect at all. I wondering if I should give her another chance or kick her ass out. I dont think I am hard to live with..every time I snap on her I feel bad afterwards. She keeps reiterating "I get it, its your place" bla bla.. If it soo my place.. It should look like she doesnt live there.. The place has gotten so dingy looking. She doesn't clean after herself or clean the tub after using.. I have to clean her dirt and muck that is left in the tub. Im starting to think that she wants to get kicked out. What should I do and how can I make work less awkward? I didnt say not one word to her yesterday at work.. and she didn't come home last night.. she knows i am upset with her. She needs to get it together.. UGH
amaysngrace Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 She's acting like a creep and you're allowing it. She lies to your face and disrespects your rules. Everyone is entitled to a peaceful dwelling. It sounds like you don't have one of those. Give her a week to find someplace else to live. That's what I'd do. 1
Els Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 The way you go on about 'rules' sounds rather odd to me, IMO. But that aside, you absolutely have the right to kick her out as you're letting her live with you free of charge as a favour, and she isn't even trying to keep the place tidy. I agree with amay, give her a time limit to move out. Frankly I'd never let a friend live with me FOC for such a long period of time unless we were very close, and I'd never ask either. 1
Author ShyOne82 Posted October 24, 2013 Author Posted October 24, 2013 The way you go on about 'rules' sounds rather odd to me, IMO. Why does it sound odd? I only mentioned one which was not eating upstairs.. And my so called rules are basic every day living.. things I shouldn't have to tell an adult.. But since she did whatever.. it had to be enforced.
amaysngrace Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 Why does it sound odd? I only mentioned one which was not eating upstairs.. And my so called rules are basic every day living.. things I shouldn't have to tell an adult.. But since she did whatever.. it had to be enforced. I understand that. You tried to do a nice thing and it ended up causing you resentment. That sucks. Live and learn, eh? 1
CC12 Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 I wondering if I should give her another chance or kick her ass out. I'm wondering why you're even considering giving her another chance, after she's been such a supremely terrible houseguest. Why don't you just kick her out? What is the reason you cannot say to her "This isn't working and you need to move out"? Is she paying rent? Is she on your lease? Are her cousin and your cousin best friends? What is it? 3
Tayla Posted October 26, 2013 Posted October 26, 2013 Be forthright and brief , as its time for this person to grow in responsibility. Make sure that if they leave they clean up the room and pay you in kind for the use of the home. Once they walk out you have less chance of getting things back. I think your Guidelines are fair and worth regarding.
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