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What is the difference between a man who genuily falls in love vs cheater?

nicepuzzle

By nicepuzzle
in The Other Man / Woman

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nicepuzzle Established Member

nicepuzzle

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My Xmm fell in love constantly and he hated that. He told me he genuily gets feeling for women and cant help it. Was e cheater or a player?

Philosoraptor Established Member

Philosoraptor

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A man who actually falls in love will leave his current relationship before pursuing another. The act of pursuing another while in a committed relationship is the definition of cheating.

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underwater2010 Established Member

underwater2010

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Sounds to me like he is referring to the brains chemicals that cause you to feel all rainbows and unicorns. Not real love but the bonding stuff that leads up to it.

jlola Established Member

jlola

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My Xmm fell in love constantly and he hated that. He told me he genuily gets feeling for women and cant help it. Was e cheater or a player?

 

He is a "LOVE" or "Romance " addict. They are addicted to the chemical high your brain produces when you fall in love.

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nicepuzzle Established Member

nicepuzzle

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So if a person cant help it and fall in love,means get attracted quickly does it make them bad ? Cheating is a selfish act but someone gets this feeling and feel full of remorse because of them. My Xmm told he felt guilty of falling in love but couldnt help it so he made some rules to justify himself. Like having only impromptou sex and not making it official relationship like dating etc... Btw, he was the most selfish person I have known.

MissBee Established Member

MissBee

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My Xmm fell in love constantly and he hated that. He told me he genuily gets feeling for women and cant help it. Was e cheater or a player?

 

 

:laugh:

 

That's called being a serial cheater.

 

Falling in love requires time and getting to know someone, so he already has no boundaries if he is falling in love constantly, as it's not like the flu where you just catch it because you have a weak immune system lol, although I suppose in a sense, boundaries are one's defenses and protection against certain invasions and having weak to no boundaries is just like having a weak immune system. Anyway, more likely, he hasn't fallen in love, rather, he develops attraction to other women and pursues it inappropriately, which goes back to him having no boundaries. Calling it "falling in love"is silly lol....how are you constantly falling in love??? Even as a single, dating person I don't fall in love with every man I go out with so how can you have it happen "constantly." In any case...he is a serial cheater and this isn't about love but people realize calling things love lends it some justifiable or romantic quality so like to do so. I do believe it is possible and even normal to develop attractions to others while in a relationship, but this is often fleeting, and if you choose to be exclusive you also choose to actively turn down opportunities to have those feelings grow and develop. If he constantly chooses to pursue these feelings, he is not some poor lovesick man, who arbitrarily falls in love like it is some chronic disease :lmao:, but he CHOOSES to pursue these multiple attractions instead of turning it down. Why he does so is way less romantic than he spins it and he seems very impulsive as well as compulsive.

Edited by MissBee
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MissBee Established Member

MissBee

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So if a person cant help it and fall in love,means get attracted quickly does it make them bad ? Cheating is a selfish act but someone gets this feeling and feel full of remorse because of them. My Xmm told he felt guilty of falling in love but couldnt help it so he made some rules to justify himself. Like having only impromptou sex and not making it official relationship like dating etc... Btw, he was the most selfish person I have known.

 

What does love have to do with impromptu sex? :confused:

 

Clearly he isn't falling in love....he is a sex addict!

 

If someone says they fall in love easily and to justify this, while married they only have impromptu sex with others, ummm....that negates the very idea of love, although I would agree with experienced that loving and falling in love are different, the latter more so the chemical feelings and the former about relationships, commitment, choosing to nurture the relationship, care, respect etc. He is falling into other people's vaginas it seems and this, as I already suspected and said before seeing this post, has not a thing to do with love but sure sounds more romantic and understandable when couched in love language....except the truth comes out anyway when in the next breath his idea of being in love is impromptu sex with no strings attached. Hilarious!

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nicepuzzle Established Member

nicepuzzle

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LMAO. Boy, he created all kinds of silly justifications to continue doing what he was doing. He just kept putting more and more lipstick on that pig - but it's still just a pig in the end.

 

So true... Nice justification to self

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nicepuzzle Established Member

nicepuzzle

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What does love have to do with impromptu sex? :confused:

 

Clearly he isn't falling in love....he is a sex addict!

 

If someone says they fall in love easily and to justify this, while married they only have impromptu sex with others, ummm....that negates the very idea of love, although I would agree with experienced that loving and falling in love are different, the latter more so the chemical feelings and the former about relationships, commitment, choosing to nurture the relationship, care, respect etc. He is falling into other people's vaginas it seems and this, as I already suspected and said before seeing this post, has not a thing to do with love but sure sounds more romantic and understandable when couched in love language....except the truth comes out anyway when in the next breath his idea of being in love is impromptu sex with no strings attached. Hilarious!

 

 

So the justification goes: "I am a very good person with high morals and tend to fall in love and feel guilty of falling in love because I am a married man. So I have ONLY sex with women and it doesnt mean anything. I am in love with you and only you and with other women its nothing"

 

HA HA HA HA Joke.

Journee Established Member

Journee

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So the justification goes: "I am a very good person with high morals and tend to fall in love and feel guilty of falling in love because I am a married man. So I have ONLY sex with women and it doesnt mean anything. I am in love with you and only you and with other women its nothing"

 

HA HA HA HA Joke.

 

It reminds me of a line from a movie called 'Baby Boy'. The lead character was grown man with children who insisted he live with his mother. He was juvenile in most aspects of life. He was a cheater and a manipulator. He would tell one of his children's mothers (his main squeeze) that

 

"I make love to you, I want to be with you, but I *expletive* other females occasionally. I don't know why, I just do. That's the situation. You feel better now? That's some honesty for yo butt. I love you enough to be honest."

 

In his mind it made perfect sense. "I make love to you but I just F*&$ the other chicks" type of mentality. It's out there and it makes sense to some people.

 

I don't know about your MM but it's that same immature way of thinking.

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Quiet Storm Established Member

Quiet Storm

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Integrity.

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whichwayisup Established Member

whichwayisup

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So if a person cant help it and fall in love,means get attracted quickly does it make them bad ? Cheating is a selfish act but someone gets this feeling and feel full of remorse because of them. My Xmm told he felt guilty of falling in love but couldnt help it so he made some rules to justify himself. Like having only impromptou sex and not making it official relationship like dating etc... Btw, he was the most selfish person I have known.

 

He is putting himself in situations where this continually happens. He has no boundries.

 

I doubt it's falling in love, it's the process and the newness of falling in love, all that goes with it, the excitement of a new person, a new body. But once it starts to fade and become 'too real' he bails. He is a player and a cheater. And as you say, selfish too.

 

Glad he's your EX MM.

waterwoman Established Member

waterwoman

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There is no difference. Cheating is cheating no matter the justification used.

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