rumbleseat Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 Have you ever been in, or had your relationship affected by, a sociopath? From what I understand, sociopaths are not that uncommon, and can often be very high functioning. They are able to put up a front of being very kind and caring, but they are anything but. Many people feel that a sociopath is not capable of empathy, but the exact opposite is true. In many ways, they are the ultimate empath, and are able to intuitively know how a person feels and what they need to hear, an they use this to their advantage. This is not to say that they can empathize or understand how they feel, but rather that they can and will use someone's emotional against them to meet their own needs. Since they are relatively common and often hard to spot right off, what is some advice for someone who finds themselves in a a relationship, or is having their relationship affected by, one?
cocorico Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 Have you ever been in, or had your relationship affected by, a sociopath? From what I understand, sociopaths are not that uncommon, and can often be very high functioning. They are able to put up a front of being very kind and caring, but they are anything but. Many people feel that a sociopath is not capable of empathy, but the exact opposite is true. In many ways, they are the ultimate empath, and are able to intuitively know how a person feels and what they need to hear, an they use this to their advantage. This is not to say that they can empathize or understand how they feel, but rather that they can and will use someone's emotional against them to meet their own needs. Since they are relatively common and often hard to spot right off, what is some advice for someone who finds themselves in a a relationship, or is having their relationship affected by, one? I'm not quite sure what kind of R connection your OP is hoping to elicit, but my brother was diagnosed as a sociopath while in prison. He is currently going through yet another D, as his latest partner has reached her limit. My advice, based on my experience with him, is to trust nothing he says or does, question everything, insist on evidence, build a solid support network and remove yourself from the situation.
acrosstheuniverse Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 I've noticed a lot of cod psychology thrown around lately about sociopaths, how there are a certain percentage in every group of people, lots of scary 'facts' about how they act and what they're capable of, etc. Sociopathy/Psychopathy aren't even recognised terms anymore, they've been merged into 'Anti-social Personality Disorder' in most medical settings, which I find funny in a way because it just makes it sound as though somebody is a bit of a loner! My brother is an undiagnosed sociopath. I believe him to be one because he fits every single last one of the diagnostic criteria, down to the letter. He has never been in a position where he would be diagnosed. He doesn't give a sht about anybody other than himself. He is actively cruel at times, in a passive aggressive way. He flaunts rules. His first choice in any given situation is violence, something he acts upon often. He has a vast lengthy criminal record for crimes ranging from hooliganism to racially aggravated assault, public affray to simple actual and grievous bodily harm. No concept of guilt, never given a single apology for a thing in his entire life, always ready to point the finger of blame at people in scenarios so ludicrous it's impossible not to smirk when you hear of how he's managed to divert attention from himself. Past incarcerations. The best advice I can give is to get away, and stay away. After the death of our mother in 2010 he and I became very close, we hung out a few times a week, I learnt how to be a proper Auntie and take care of my nephew, got very close to them both, felt I had a proper family for the first time in my life. Then when my ex left me, my brother cut me out. I never found out why and never will, he refuses to admit to my father it's happening, says I'm being hysterical. Never gets in touch, EVER, even though we were really good friends for two years and supported each other through the death of our mum. To gain a brother, a nephew, and then have that ripped away from me after losing my mum and my partner and his family, was by far the worst thing anyone has ever done to me. I scrabbled around in shock for several months trying to work out what I'd done wrong until I realised the whole relationship was an illusion, and I had to start accepting that the fantasy was gone. He caused a lot of problems in my last relationship, he insulted my ex's dying family member immensely and refused to apologise, he basically turned on him too before me, and left it so that my ex said he couldn't stand to be part of his life in any way ever again, that if we ever had kids he couldn't stand the idea of them being near my brother. Etc. Now, he's history. He's taken away the most important thing in my life, my nephew. As a brother he was supposed to be there for me, and he abandoned me at the worst time in my life. He's dead to me, I don't even acknowledge his existence anymore. Nor the existence of my toddler/baby nephews, because it's too painful. 1
Sanman Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 OP, The topic statement is the title of a national best seller by Martha Stout. Any chance you read it?
Author rumbleseat Posted October 25, 2013 Author Posted October 25, 2013 OP, The topic statement is the title of a national best seller by Martha Stout. Any chance you read it? I did (actually, I listened to the audiobook, as I was reviewing it as part of my work). It was pretty chilling, and it did give some advice about how to deal with a sociopath. The one thing I took away from it is that the usual methods that someone would try and use when dealing with people simply won't work. It's best to get away if you can, and if you can't ( say they are your boss or co-worker) try and stay on their good side and be of value to them. It's just too bad people can't recognize them sooner. It seems that so many have a view that they are violent, but most are not. They are every bit as hurt though.
jlola Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 Sociopaths are charming,use pity play and come off as the man everyone likes. Till you are in his web.
Got it Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 I am not sure, potentially my dad's mother. I was young so I didn't have any real direct evidence but the stories told there is a good chance. As with his sister though I suspect she is just a narcissist. And he has emotional attachment issues so just a lovely cheery crowd!
salparadise Posted October 26, 2013 Posted October 26, 2013 The topic statement is the title of a national best seller by Martha Stout. Any chance you read it? I read it. It's a decent, easy to understand explanation of the garden variety antisocial personality. I was hoping for more insight and wouldn't mind reading another book on sociopathy if I could find a really great one.
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