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There is light at the end of the tunnel, people!

aaron11892

By aaron11892
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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aaron11892 Established Member

aaron11892

Posted
Posted

If you want to know about my break up then check my previous threads.

 

Anyway...I'm feeling happy! I just wanted to write this thread letting you all know there is light at the end of the tunnel and today I have found it.

 

It's been 1.5 months post BU and can honestly say I am 99% healed and feel just like my old self. Confident, happy and ready to get back out there.

 

My ex left me to GIGS, which is what I think anyway but it doesn't matter now. I am over her. I am at the point now where I can just picture her with another guy and smile to myself knowing she'll never find anyone as great as me. Back then it would have made my stomach turn and make me feel down in the dumps, not anymore!

 

The very reason I got here was by what almost everyone preaches, no contact. I did the begging, pleading for 2 weeks after the break up and also sent her a handwritten letter (seems pathetic thinking about it now) which was 5 pages long expressing all my feelings lol

 

That was the last contact I had with her. All the begging does is push them away further, I realize that now and will remember this for the future. Break ups are a learning experience and I know I will never repeat my mistakes I made in the relationship or after the break up.

 

No contact has allowed me to start thinking rationally again and realize my ex was never good for me anyway. If she came back to me, I honestly can say I would not take her back.

 

You'll make a lot of mistakes because you love them. You're a human, and you loved well.

 

Well the very reason for this thread is, I'm just here to tell you that the pain eventually goes away and when the clouds clear up, you'll have the best feeling in your life circulating through your veins and you will see the world in a beautiful way. I Know that idea scares you now, but you just have to believe me that it will all be ok. You're amazing. You're worth it. It will all make sense eventually, and in the words of Bob Marley, "every little thing, is going to be alright."

 

Good god I feel so powerful now. I am no longer on the string - and you'll be there with me sometime. Just remember to tell your friends that go through this one day that they are worth something, they are great, because in the end, that is really what we want to hear. Believe me. We just need to feel like we are all worth something - that's what this problem is all about. It really has little to do with your ex.

 

I wish you the best. You'll be fine.

 

At the end, she'll want you because you see the world again, but you'll know that it isn't worth it because she wasn't there when things got tough. You're good friends will be there for you when things are tough, and that is what Mrs. Perfect will do for you.

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  • 2 weeks later...
killershaft Member

killershaft

Posted
Posted

Aaron.... mate this is one of the best replies for ppl with a broken heart whove lost all hopes on this forum.... wonder how come no one has commented on this.... I went thru the exact same feelings you went thru... only difference being my break up happened a year ago.... as usual when i reflect back on my break up now its all so funny... i infact grinned at my ex when i bumped into her.. btw i was dumped by her... she was all so confused at my reaction.... may be she expeted me to be pissed off with her or something.... i really appreacitae you btw mate... youve moved on so fast within a very short span of time... keep em going.... move on and kick ass :)

ayudorama Established Member

ayudorama

Posted
Posted

It's a good place to be, isn't it? It took me longer than you, but it was all well worth it.

 

You're an inspiration though, I enjoyed reading your post.

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aaron11892 Established Member

aaron11892

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Aaron.... mate this is one of the best replies for ppl with a broken heart whove lost all hopes on this forum.... wonder how come no one has commented on this.... I went thru the exact same feelings you went thru... only difference being my break up happened a year ago.... as usual when i reflect back on my break up now its all so funny... i infact grinned at my ex when i bumped into her.. btw i was dumped by her... she was all so confused at my reaction.... may be she expeted me to be pissed off with her or something.... i really appreacitae you btw mate... youve moved on so fast within a very short span of time... keep em going.... move on and kick ass :)

 

I haven't moved on completely, I think it takes much longer than 2 months, which is where I'm at now. But overall I'm feeling much happier and like my old self. I wish I could bump into my ex just so she can see this big smile on my face and then walk away lol

 

But yeah I still have the odd dark day where I miss her like crazy but they are far and few between and when these days do come around, I always remind myself how I'm better off without her. She smoked a lot, has a few health problems (beyond her control of course but still focus on these negative qualities so I remember why she doesn't deserve me) argued with her mum everyday (if we had married I could see her being the same with my mum which i would NOT stand for).

 

So overall I'm feeling better and better each day and as each day passes by, you get a day closer to meeting someone who will deserve you and won't leave you when things get tough but instead will sit down and resolve issues together as a couple should!

 

And when your ex finds out and sees your new woman, she is gonna be hurt! And will regret throwing you away...then you can just smile at her and say "your loss" :)

  • Like 1
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aaron11892 Established Member

aaron11892

Posted
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Brace yourself

 

What do you mean?

MoooOinkBaaa Established Member

MoooOinkBaaa

Posted
Posted
Brace yourself

i was about to post this too...

theonlyjuan Established Member

theonlyjuan

Posted
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I know you mean well but some people do recover quickly. Just because it's taking you ages to recover or you had set backs after feeling good, doesn't mean it will happen to them.

 

I was told the same, it never happened to me. I have recovered from my breakup and it was pretty quick too.

 

So yeah, nice one

Never Again Established Member

Never Again

Posted
Posted
What do you mean?

 

Relapses happen.

 

They're never as bad as the initial plunge, and there's no guarantee that you'll experience it, but they can happen.

 

Especially if you get breadcrumbed.

 

I thought I was mostly healed, had to spend an entire intimate evening with her, and was sucker punched by reemerging feelings.

 

Just keep your guard up.

  • Like 1
killershaft Member

killershaft

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Don worry Aaron... its a natural process.... I can sense that youve gained control of yourself... i still miss my ex a year after my break up and NC... have never contacted her post my break up.... its normal to feel the way your doing... very soon you'll start to get the refreshing feel of being single again without any regrets about your past.... and being a dumpee is advantageous in the long run... so start reaping your rewards now... And watch your dumper go crazy with your progress.. (im sure she already does in your case). what ever happens never show your weak and fragile to your ex... thats a cardinal sin... she will never want to come back to you (incase she wants to)..... Have fun mate.... good luck

  • Like 1
dolita Member

dolita

Posted
Posted
Believe me. We just need to feel like we are all worth something - that's what this problem is all about. It really has little to do with your ex.

 

well said :)

  • Like 1
greenfairie Established Member

greenfairie

Posted
Posted

Wow! That's amazing you've moved on this quick. I have a question. When you think about your ex, do you have positive thoughts about her or negative thoughts? I just wonder if guys would have ill feelings towards their ex girlfriends even if they broke up and were never in contact.

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aaron11892 Established Member

aaron11892

Posted
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Wow! That's amazing you've moved on this quick. I have a question. When you think about your ex, do you have positive thoughts about her or negative thoughts? I just wonder if guys would have ill feelings towards their ex girlfriends even if they broke up and were never in contact.

 

When I think about my ex, I feel indifferent. I think about the good times we shared and I am grateful for the experience. At the beginning of the break up, all I could think about were the good times and I put her up on a pedestal thinking that she was perfect.

 

After a while, I began to think more clearly and realize she wasn't as great as I thought and I hated her for what she had put me through and ending the relationship by text message, a massive cowardly move. Right now I don't hate her and I don't love her, she's a stranger to me.

 

Like some guys have said, relapsing is a possibility especially if she gets in contact and starts sending breadcrumbs. I used to wish she would contact me so we can try and resolve things but now I wish she would contact me just so she can see how happy I am without her, but she doesn't even deserve to know.

 

I actually don't want any contact from her now, but if she did contact me, I'd like her to pour her heart out telling me she made a mistake and wants me back. I wouldn't take her back but it would give me a huge ego boost knowing she misses me and I hold all the power once again.

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