Mcnulty Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 She comes back 2 months ago, we get close quickly, meeting, doing things, talking about what we were going to "do" to each other when we had the chance, sexting, the full works. I love her so much, after a month, I tell her i want to be part of her life, she kind of rebuffs it with a throwaway comment,"you'll get there in the end"...What? Last month, she hasn't mentioned it once since, don't see each other as much, i feel a bit of a fool and i tell her this, to which she replies,"it's always about you". Can now go days without contact, whereas the previous month it was every day. Last night, I drive past her car in a strange street. I ask her, "new friend?" She replies "!? old friend actually"..I say I'm sorry for prying and she replies no worries. It's screwing my head totally, can't take it anymore. Why come back??? Why contact me again? For a shag?? Is the old friend a FWB? An old friend with a view to starting something? Christ is it male?? I'm a mess. Just to say, if they come back, then backtrack, get out quick, if you still have feelings, or it will eat you up and spit you out, which is where i'm at today, feel a fool.
Lost_Dragon Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 She comes back 2 months ago, we get close quickly, meeting, doing things, talking about what we were going to "do" to each other when we had the chance, sexting, the full works. I love her so much, after a month, I tell her i want to be part of her life, she kind of rebuffs it with a throwaway comment,"you'll get there in the end"...What? Last month, she hasn't mentioned it once since, don't see each other as much, i feel a bit of a fool and i tell her this, to which she replies,"it's always about you". Can now go days without contact, whereas the previous month it was every day. Last night, I drive past her car in a strange street. I ask her, "new friend?" She replies "!? old friend actually"..I say I'm sorry for prying and she replies no worries. It's screwing my head totally, can't take it anymore. Why come back??? Why contact me again? For a shag?? Is the old friend a FWB? An old friend with a view to starting something? Christ is it male?? I'm a mess. Just to say, if they come back, then backtrack, get out quick, if you still have feelings, or it will eat you up and spit you out, which is where i'm at today, feel a fool. Yes. I let her back and she repeated the same nonsense. I was the fool. Never again.
Philosoraptor Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 This is why you don't eat the breadcrumbs. Just leaves you starving for more when you could have been moving on (healing up) and finding a brand new sandwich. 5
Author Mcnulty Posted October 24, 2013 Author Posted October 24, 2013 But she had the chance a month ago to say, nah, it's not going to work, but no, she kept me hanging on contacting. Then last night i gave her the chance to either come clean or even lie and say, "yes, it's a new friend"...why play games and keep me hanging? I don't understand it at all.
Assasda Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 There are MILLIONS of other women. wtf am i saying BILLIONS of other women. Fill your time with getting with another woman. This woman is going to feel disdain and disrespect for you if you keep chasing. Dont even worry about her "friend". she can keep that to herself, and you dont need to know 1
Mariposa10 Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 But she had the chance a month ago to say, nah, it's not going to work, but no, she kept me hanging on contacting. Then last night i gave her the chance to either come clean or even lie and say, "yes, it's a new friend"...why play games and keep me hanging? I don't understand it at all. She does it because she can and wants to. No need to over analyze everything. This is gonna go on and on, until you stop it. Think about your feelings, focus on you. She's only thinking about herself. 1
AnnaAnna Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 But she had the chance a month ago to say, nah, it's not going to work, but no, she kept me hanging on contacting. Then last night i gave her the chance to either come clean or even lie and say, "yes, it's a new friend"...why play games and keep me hanging? I don't understand it at all. Let's just say it's a new friend. Would it really make any difference? She's playing games and you need to get out and let her go.
Zahara Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/386811-do-not-go-back Is this the same woman that came back in April and messed with your head? The one that left you for your friend?
Mr Scorpio Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 Why come back??? Why contact me again? For a shag?? Probably because she believed you would be there for her, you would be available and ready to listen and to feed her with attention. Perhaps she needed a backup plan.
Author Mcnulty Posted October 25, 2013 Author Posted October 25, 2013 Yes Zahara, the same woman. I've been played like a fiddle. I saw her car again this morning there. I sent a text saying "history has a way of repeating itself, wish you could have just been honest with me". Feel a fool and totally lost....10 years man.
Zahara Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 Yes Zahara, the same woman. I've been played like a fiddle. I saw her car again this morning there. I sent a text saying "history has a way of repeating itself, wish you could have just been honest with me". Feel a fool and totally lost....10 years man. I'm sorry you're in pain. But when are you going to learn? At this point, no one else's fault but yours. You're the only one repeating YOUR history because you know by your past with her that this is who she is. You're trying to change something that just cannot be changed. When is it going to be enough?
Author Mcnulty Posted October 25, 2013 Author Posted October 25, 2013 I've learnt a harsh lesson and the final lesson, she played me, didn't get sex, wanted to keep me hanging on as a back up and then when i call her out, she lies. Then when i call her out today, no reply...she's a player, a user and a damned coward, didn't even have the decency to reply...says it all about her really...feel a fool and a piece of trash. 1
Author Mcnulty Posted October 25, 2013 Author Posted October 25, 2013 She text,"sorry". I went to town on her saying she had no decency and was a coward and a game player. She called me a bastard and that she's been nowhere and done nothing....schyt man, it's all miscommunication and second guessing. I've cooked my goose now, she accepted my apology for the harsh words and apologized for the one word "sorry" saying she didn't know what to put!! A friggin mess, the whole thing...paranoia reigns!
Zahara Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 She text,"sorry". I went to town on her saying she had no decency and was a coward and a game player. She called me a bastard and that she's been nowhere and done nothing....schyt man, it's all miscommunication and second guessing. I've cooked my goose now, she accepted my apology for the harsh words and apologized for the one word "sorry" saying she didn't know what to put!! A friggin mess, the whole thing...paranoia reigns! I don't think you will ever learn.
mtnbiker3000 Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 Oh boy. Man, you're in a tailspin. You need to step back and take some deep breaths. Just reading this made me feel bad
Zahara Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 Your first thread on LS was titled "Flattened" back in Oct 2011. It's now Oct 2013.
Blastoplast Posted October 26, 2013 Posted October 26, 2013 Break contact. Grow a pair of balls and cut her out of your life. I'm being blunt here, but it's the best thing that you can do for yourself. Stop putting yourself through an emotional meat grinder for this woman who is being ambiguous, narcissistic and torturing you mentally. Find yourself a real woman who isn't about playing mind games that will treat you with respect, dignity and compassion.
JoelBarish Posted October 26, 2013 Posted October 26, 2013 You're a mess. Don't say that you CAN'T take it anymore. Can't is victim talk as if you are not in control. Say that you WON'T take it anymore and CHOOSE to walk away.
Author Mcnulty Posted October 29, 2013 Author Posted October 29, 2013 I kept my dignity...2 years ago, let her get on with it, through severe illness I kept my dignity okay. By default and then her choice in the last year SHE came back into my life, I played it cool and then decided 5 weeks ago, nah, I'm going to be direct and tell her, she dismissed my words...yes I should have walked then...faint hope through being in love with someone still. What has happened recently has opened my eyes to her mindset. She is a coward who looks after number one. I accepted her denial of anything going on 4 days ago....the NC started today, I blocked her number and from now, I move on, she can't hurt me play games with my head anymore. Just want to say thanks for the posts/advice, some of it a bit judgmental in my eyes, you love someone, it clouds your mind, being brave isn't a choice sometimes, cutting the chord due to lack of respect and ambiguity is and that is what I have chosen to do. I'm human, i have weaknesses from my past that I protect, as we all do. if you can recognize these defence systems, why you do it, it does give you some perspective that otherwise wouldn't be there...I see my frailties.
Author Mcnulty Posted November 6, 2013 Author Posted November 6, 2013 Just a question. I'm on the bottom at the mo and one thing is nagging away inside. Should I have asked her outright if she was seeing someone or did I do right in just blocking her out of my life without this closure? I'm not thinking straight at the moment and would appreciate any comments, thanks.
Zahara Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 Just a question. I'm on the bottom at the mo and one thing is nagging away inside. Should I have asked her outright if she was seeing someone or did I do right in just blocking her out of my life without this closure? I'm not thinking straight at the moment and would appreciate any comments, thanks. It doesn't matter if she was seeing someone or not, this woman has been toxic for you and after all you have been through, enough is enough. That is your closure. Go back and read your threads. It will be a good reminder as to why this could never work out, even if she wasn't seeing someone else.
Mariposa10 Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 Just a question. I'm on the bottom at the mo and one thing is nagging away inside. Should I have asked her outright if she was seeing someone or did I do right in just blocking her out of my life without this closure? I'm not thinking straight at the moment and would appreciate any comments, thanks. I'm not sure if there's such a thing as closure... to be honest... I guess we all have our different opinions about it. What would you have gained if you had asked her that? More pain probably? False hope? In other words, nothing good. It's ok to feel the way you're feeling. You can always vent here. You have to at some point start blocking those thoughts, or accepting them. You can't go on with your life full or regrets. Learn to let go.
ponchsox Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 Break contact. Grow a pair of balls and cut her out of your life. I'm being blunt here, but it's the best thing that you can do for yourself. Stop putting yourself through an emotional meat grinder for this woman who is being ambiguous, narcissistic and torturing you mentally. Find yourself a real woman who isn't about playing mind games that will treat you with respect, dignity and compassion. Pretty much this. I finally had to say **** her she's a waste of my time. I'm still feeling spots of emptiness but I know she wasn't the one for me.
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