mehim Posted December 11, 2004 Posted December 11, 2004 how do i tell my bf of two years, that i think that he really needs to go to the dentist, and get his teeth checked. its so ironic how teeth are such a bid deal to me when it comes to meeting guys, but for him i didnt care, i guess it doesnt matter when u love someone. anyways, i seem to notice it now more and more, and its bothering me, like the last time i saw him, i wanted to tell him that i dont want to kiss him until he gets his teeth checked. they are not so bad they just need the plaque removed and cleand up. so how do i tell him without hurting his feelings, i know it will bother him in a way but how can i do it without hurting him. any suggestions would be so great. i dont even know how to approch him about it.
Barby Posted December 11, 2004 Posted December 11, 2004 Try mentioning that you're thinking of seeing the dentist and mention "when was the last time you had a check up" then maybe offer to set it up for him... Either that or just be honest about the way you're feeling and why you're feeling that way.
Author mehim Posted December 11, 2004 Author Posted December 11, 2004 i actually have tried telling him to go the dentist before, that was a little while ago. and what ya think he did, yup u guessed right, he didnt go. in way i want to make him feel guilty about it, which would make him do it hopefully, but yet not in a hurtfull way, if i make any sense.
Missy1171 Posted December 11, 2004 Posted December 11, 2004 I am a teeth person too! I met a guy a couple of weeks ago, very nice, great looking, but had no front teeth! He kept asking what it would take to get me to go out with him, I really wanted to say "Get some teeth first!!
femme Posted December 11, 2004 Posted December 11, 2004 LOL Missy. mehim, I'm in the exact same situation. I've always been a teeth person, but it hardly mattered when I fell in love! I love everything about him, but sometimes I wonder if it's going to start bugging me later on. I do hope he'll go and get his plaque removed. He needs a good cleaning. His teeth aren't all that straight either, but I don't mind at all. Once or twice he's asked me if he should get braces, and I told him he should for his own sake. He said he asked in case it bothers me. I told him it didn't. I guess a good way would be to make an appointment together? Maybe you could make an appointment and tell him to go with you, and suggest while he's at it, he should get his teeth checked as well.
johan Posted December 11, 2004 Posted December 11, 2004 Being a dentist is one job I would NOT want. There's a guy at work who is a great guy, real fun and good sense of humor, but his teeth are disgusting. I don't know what my boss's problem was when he interviewed him, but he must have been blind that day and no sense of smell. I wouldn't have hired him. On a bad day he can fill a meeting room with his breath in one sentence. If I was his dentist I'd hose it out from across the room with a pressure washer. I don't recommend a sit-down and talk session where you encourage him to take it real seriously and to get embarrassed. I think you should tease him about it gently. The most successful relationships are the ones where these things don't remain unsaid for long and that is the best way to deliver the message without making things uncomfortable. Hopefully he has a sense of humor and can get the hint.
indigo_moon Posted December 11, 2004 Posted December 11, 2004 There's tons of great info online about the risks of gingivitis / peridontal disease......how putting off getting one's teeth cleaned and scaled...and getting them cleaned below the gum's surface can cause majorly painful receeding gumlines and actual BONE LOSS to the bone in the jaw where the teeth go into..which is serious stuff! I myself hated and I mean HATED going to the dentist......and I put off getting a cleaning done for 3 yrs..by the time I forced myself to go, it was more than just a basic cleaning (and I'm someone who brushes 2-3 times a day, flosses fairly regularly)........they had to actually freeze the gums to get deep enough below the gumline...and xrays show a fair bit of gum recession........even BONE LOSS that's irreversible, I'm only in my mid 30s so this freaked me out. So tell you were reading about this chick on the net (me) who found this out and how it freaked YOU out......and tell him you're going to go get your teeth checked and cleaned....and you want him to, also. Tell him how painful it was for me.........it was horrid...the first hygienist was too stupid to anesthetize my gums..and i tell ya, I had tears in my eyes from the pain of her shoving this pointy probe down under the gumline - I asked her about freezing the gums, she didn't think it was necessary........I was in agony......she spent 1 hr JUST doing the top teeth/gums.........I dreaded going back for the bottom.....I requested to never have her again, wanted a different hygienist...and the 2nd one was awesome (much older, more experience)..she insisted gums be frozen...it was a zillion needles, up in the roof of my mouth.........very painful..........and that was another hour's worth of work..............all because I hadn't had it done for 3 yrs........................nobody should go through this pain, it's so avoidable, I learned my lessen. Tell him this...hell, don't just tell him some chick on the net told you this...tell him a "friend" (well we're all just friends who haven't met, right? LOL) shared her experience..and it's freaked you out...................and you want him and you to both go..................that's what I'd do.
reasontosigh Posted December 11, 2004 Posted December 11, 2004 How old are you and your boyfriend, mehim? Does he have dental insurance through his job? The high costs these days I have heard (in addition to the physical pain....) do keep a number of people from going.
yellowrose Posted December 11, 2004 Posted December 11, 2004 I was dating a guy with bad teeth. There was one big issue for him. He had no insurance. What I did was kind of go on a subtle "awareness campaign", using teeth whiteners, keeping a big tube of Crest with "EXTRA WHITENING POWER" on the shelf in the bathroom right in front of the sink, big ol' bottle of Listerine... just things that put that suggestion in his head that I take teeth seriously. Even going so far as to make teeth brushing time in the morning a cute bonding moment. I'd be in the shower and ask, "Hey sweetie! Will you put some toothpaste on my brush for me when you're doing yours? I'm really in a rush this morning." I don't know if it worked, but it seemed to me that he got better about the general care. Maybe some things like that might be a helpful nudge. DO NOT guilt trip him though. It does not work to guilt guys into stuff. And even if you win one small battle, you'll lose the war. Men *do not* dig staying with women who guilt trip them. Nuh uh. Good luck!
Author mehim Posted December 11, 2004 Author Posted December 11, 2004 well im 19 soon to be 20 and he is 21. the idea of me and him going together is not going to work, the work scheduels, and the way he is, it wouldnt work on him. we dont really see each other at our houses, cuz we live with families, so we dont get to share the bathroom or anything. i actually myself had a root canal done few months back, but at that time we werent together and so he doesnt really know about it yet. so i think i might just tell him, that the dentist did a ****ty job and im going back and im gonna get my teeth cleaned, not that they need any. and that maybe he should do it to. but i know he wont do it, i need to push him a little bit, and i know that is not a good idea. im pretty comfortable about hinting him somehting about the teeth, but i dont know if he would take it seriously enough to take action. and it didnt bother me before so much, but now i think its building up, and i can see it, God i dont want to think about it anymore.
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