Hattie Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 I have another thread on LoveShack that has me thinking....with my current situation, and having a lot of feedback from all sorts of people (which I appreciate); I would really like to just hear some 'mature' advice on love & marriage for 40 and beyond. I have been 20, I have been 30. Now being 40 and facing some difficult hurdles in my marriage, I would like perspective from those of you have been-there, done-that. Nothing in particular, just something worth sharing.
dichotomy Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 All I can say, if it would help, is that in my 40's I became more focused on me. Self improvement, self focus, what I wanted... while still remaining committed to the marriage and my kids. Improving and strengthening mental and physical fitness, exploring new ways of thinking, feeling, etc... are crucial at this age. My late father offered this advice as I entered my 40's - get in the best shape you can, build up mind, body, and money - for as you enter your 50's you will call upon what you have built up. 4
SimplyMeee Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 (edited) I have another thread on LoveShack that has me thinking....with my current situation, and having a lot of feedback from all sorts of people (which I appreciate); I would really like to just hear some 'mature' advice on love & marriage for 40 and beyond. I have been 20, I have been 30. Now being 40 and facing some difficult hurdles in my marriage, I would like perspective from those of you have been-there, done-that. Nothing in particular, just something worth sharing. When I hit age 42, I had an explosive sex drive increase -which my husband was't sure what hit me, he couldn't keep up... but we worked all through that... and it's been our best years yet...I am new to this forum...but on another I have over 8,000 posts.. thought I'd jump ship for awhile..... Loved the 40's... wish I was this in touch with my inner caged woman - in my younger years... I feel as though I took my husband for granted in some ways... and I much regret these things. What are your difficult hurdles ? Mid Life Crisis's crop up around this phase in our lives...I'd lable mine all "sexual"..... it brought me & my husband to new heights & appreciation of each other. Edited October 25, 2013 by SimplyMeee 1
Author Hattie Posted October 25, 2013 Author Posted October 25, 2013 When I hit age 42, I had an explosive sex drive increase -which my husband was't sure what hit me, he couldn't keep up... but we worked all through that... and it's been our best years yet...I am new to this forum...but on another I have over 8,000 posts.. thought I'd jump ship for awhile..... Loved the 40's... wish I was this in touch with my inner caged woman - in my younger years... I feel as though I took my husband for granted in some ways... and I much regret these things. What are your difficult hurdles ? Mid Life Crisis's crop up around this phase in our lives...I'd lable mine all "sexual"..... it brought me & my husband to new heights & appreciation of each other. I can relate to everything you wrote. Currently we are in the phase where he can't keep up, and there is a little more to it than that.... But I am trying to embrace this new chapter in my life and finally get to put some focus into 'me'. Which means i want to eat better, look better, feel better, love better. At every junction, there are more hurdles. I want my partner right there with me, but once again, he can't keep up. So now I am on a slippery slope...trying to figure out how to proceed with disappointments and without screwing it all up!
central Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 In my 40's I got divorced (second best decision in my life!), and remarried (best decision of my life). I'd also been pretty limited sexually in my first marriage, and this time around has been a great adventure. If you're in a relationship that you want to last, keep the sense of adventure, do new things together in and out of bed, truly show an interest in each other and encourage each other to grow and learn new things. Make their happiness and well-being a priority, as they should yours. And discuss these ideas to be sure you are in agreement. It can really ruin things if only one partner makes the effort or understands the goals. 2
mea_M Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 I hope late 30's counts. Made the choice to STOP being the victim of emotional abuse and moved on with 3 kids to a state of harmony and peace. Best choice I ever made. Zero regrets. :-) Mea:) 3
Author Hattie Posted October 29, 2013 Author Posted October 29, 2013 Why do husbands/men walk around literally moaning & groaning when they don't feel good or have an Owie? I seriously would like to know if there is a medical reason for this? 1
GorillaTheater Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 I am new to this forum...but on another I have over 8,000 posts.. thought I'd jump ship for awhile..... I'm pretty sure I know who and where, and I know what you mean. 1
GorillaTheater Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 Why do husbands/men walk around literally moaning & groaning when they don't feel good or have an Owie? I seriously would like to know if there is a medical reason for this? It's playing the victim card for attention and validation. But I'd hate to think of it as a gender-specific trait.
dichotomy Posted October 29, 2013 Posted October 29, 2013 Why do husbands/men walk around literally moaning & groaning when they don't feel good or have an Owie? I seriously would like to know if there is a medical reason for this? Remind me of a funny discussion I had with my older sister - about me entering my 40's. She is in her 50's. I mentioned that stuff would just start hurting for no damn reason. When you are younger - you fall, get hit, or over do it at the gym...or something that causes pain or aches. Makes sense right ? You know why you are hurting......But when I got to 40's all of a sudden - crap in my body starts hurting and you are bemoaning "but I did not do anything to cause this!". Why are you limping? Hell if I know ! I just got up to make some coffee. walked down the stairs, and my damn foot is hurting!... Then you get the real old persons answer - "well its going to rain soon" or "there is a cold front coming in - my knee is acting up too" 3
SimplyMeee Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 I'm pretty sure I know who and where, and I know what you mean. Well your avatar looks familiar, are you who I think you are too?? Interesting...I guess the name is a give away too. Ha ha 1
GorillaTheater Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 Well your avatar looks familiar, are you who I think you are too?? Interesting...I guess the name is a give away too. Ha ha Well, the "GT" doesn't stand for Georgia Tech, and I have a bunch of kids, so yeah, I'm probably exactly who you think I am.
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