Dinozzo925 Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 Mike's right, one month is nothing. Especially for an engagement. You don't have a choice in whether you are going to suffer, but you do get to decide how long you suffer. No-contact is really that big first step. Delete her number, get off Facebook, etc. Right around the first month of my breakup I remember after my ex-fiancee and I had the final "never again" argument I waited near her work and smoked a cigarette, just to see her. I think I was there for an hour. Two weeks later she tried to reconcile again and I didn't let her. It gets better, you'll be ok. Keep trying to go out on dates and meet new people. You need some confidence and you need to see that there are plenty of other girls out there, some are even nice.
Author Mario79 Posted October 25, 2013 Author Posted October 25, 2013 Thanks guys. But right now I am more like Mike said, not ready for a date or anyone. I also feel at my age I should be already on my way to have a family and buying a house and all that stuff.
headinthecloud Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 Stop torturing yourself! Looking at her status and FB, any social media, is counter productive to YOUR recovery. You have to focus on you. Be strong. You can do it. Will power!!
flight E Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 Try to accept its over. Once you do that even if you think of her it won't matter. Was also hopelessly in love with someone. I first accepted that it's over beacuse I had tried my best and it was getting too hard to tedious too demanding and demeaning I broke it off. I still think of her every day. I accept the pain felt.m then I when I think of her now I just try to feel nothing. It has started workin I don't really feel any pain. I have accepted that it natural for me to think of someone I loved. It's a human process so there is no need to be anxious it will pass too
Author Mario79 Posted October 25, 2013 Author Posted October 25, 2013 Thanks for the sentiment. Will power. I wish I could just forget her.
Author Mario79 Posted October 25, 2013 Author Posted October 25, 2013 Thanks man. It is one thing I have been wondering. I sometimes don't know if I have really accepted it. I face the reality of it all the time but I dont know how well I have accepted it. Sometimes I get a text and hope its her. Sometimes I ll get home and expect to see her, like it once was. Just hoping. I wish I felt nothing.
seekingpeaceinlove Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 Sorry you're going through this, Mario, but you will get better. I am about 2.5 months post break up and I have to say that I am doing great. A month after the BU I was struggling to get through the days. I pushed myself to go out and meet friends and family but I felt sick and empty. I couldn't eat, sleep..even breathing felt difficult. I literally felt like I was dying inside. I would drive by ex's house and freak out if I thought he was out...I was a mess. Now, I'm good. I've gotten off this emotional roller coaster and I'm cruising along now. I miss my ex and the companionship but I am moving on. I don't feel the sadness and pain anymore. For the first time in months I'm smiling and it's genuine. I've accepted wholeheartedly that my ex and I weren't right for each other and that we're better off this way. There is no anger or bitterness...just acceptance. I still have bad days but I am doing just fine. 1 step back and 2 steps forward. My best advice is to do everything you can to have good moments and focus on now. Don't worry about tomorrow and do the best you can to not dwell on the past. Keep reading and posting on LS...we're all in this together. You will get through this and heal.
Author Mario79 Posted October 25, 2013 Author Posted October 25, 2013 I am glad to hear that. I do feel better to a point knowing other people hurt like I do, but do wish they didnt. I just cant find my passions, I had plans and goals, but at the moment I try do them and they feel so difficult to get through.
seekingpeaceinlove Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 You're going through the motions. Totally normal..totally understandable. Go through the motions and be honest how you feel. Cry if you need to and be angry if you feel it. Take it day by day and everything you do now to make yourself feel better will add up and make a difference at some point. You may not feel it now but it will. This is all a part of the process and there is no right and wrong way to go about it. I can't say exactly what made me turn the corner but suddenly at the 2 month mark I was better. Again, I focused on having good moments. Eventually those good moments became more frequent and turned into good days..etc. Love yourself, baby yourself...be selfish and greedy if you need to. This time is for YOU and to find yourself again and I promise you will.
Author Mario79 Posted October 25, 2013 Author Posted October 25, 2013 Thats good to hear. I just still have these fears and they eat away at me. Like right now. I just fear I will not find someone. And I just regret so much. I dont know what to do.
flight E Posted October 26, 2013 Posted October 26, 2013 What you are feeling is normal. I have also felt the same things but just know that if you are ready to let it go even these feelings will fade away
Author Mario79 Posted October 26, 2013 Author Posted October 26, 2013 I just wish so much I could just forget. I am doing this to myself. I sometimes feel so upset I punch walls hard. I dont have many friends and even less people that can help me with something like this. It would be nice if we could all hang out. Its so tiring to feel like this. These last months have felt like years, so much these emotions are just too much to handle at times. I want to move on. Since she already did. My biggest fear is just that I will never find someone. Or find someone and compare her to her. I feel like everything is hazy today.
flight E Posted October 26, 2013 Posted October 26, 2013 Mario I also don't have many friends. Don't know if I will find someone like X but the truth is not being with her is better than the hel that I was in because of the breakdown of our relationship. I want to move on so I just endure the feelings as I know there was I time I didn't know my ex. I mean b4 I met her and I was still living and happy 1
Author Mario79 Posted October 26, 2013 Author Posted October 26, 2013 Thank you Flight E. I sometimes have my rational moments and sometimes I have my crazy moments where I want to reach out. I want to find my way out.
flight E Posted October 27, 2013 Posted October 27, 2013 It will pass. Am thinking of mine right now but the fact is I know it will lead me nowhere. Short of becoming crazy. There is nothing I can do about it. I don't want anything that will keep making me anxious and put me on edge. I want someone thatt will compliment me and make me feel gud about me. I am not going to chase anyone or give any one an ego trip. If she wants back she has to come begging. Even if it kills me I won't reach my ex. It's just our emotions playing tricks on us and am ready to beat this emotions at it own game. Am a winner. I won't let anyone percieve me as a needy loser. This is the spirit. The pain can be endured and it will pass. Just stay strong. And logically understand that you gain NOTIN from reaching an ex that dumped you
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