sixt9r Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 Hi all I was recently in a relationship for 5 months. It was going fantastic, great communication, amazing chemistry.. blah blah. Well, it was going pretty damn good. My girlfriend ended it. It was over in a heart beat. She said in her words that she doesn't think that I'm the right man for her. Then poof, she pretty much disappeared off the face of the earth. Deleted me on all social media websites, deleted photographs everything. I've pleaded with her to at least give me some kind of feed back as to what has changed, but she hasn't said anything. I'm still scratching my head about everything.. i have very strong feelings for her and i feel helpless. I'm not going to plead with her, ask her to take me back, etc. I'm just going to try and carry on with my life without her. My question is... has anyone experienced anything like this? If so what are the chances that they will want me back? Is this her getting cold feet? In the relationship i was always following her lead as to expressing emotions because i learned in the past it can scare them away. So i let her express her emotions towards me first as in when she told me she can't stop thinking about me, that she likes me soo much... and always being affectionate.. i'd always follow suite and then express how i feel. She was making future plans for us too. It has crossed my mind that she found someone else.. But she is so busy i know her daily schedule inside and out, she doesn't have time for anything really... maybe thats one of the reasons this has happened?
ponchsox Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 Yes, I am going through a similar situation after we dated for 1.5 years. We had even been talking about marriage topics the weeks prior to our breakup. A couple of things took a turn for the worse in her life and she ended it out of stress and lack of time (she's a single mom). Even if she does want you back, why would you want her back. You need to find someone who will stick with you no matter what, not bail on you when things are inconvenient for them. 2
Philosoraptor Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 She said clearly that she did not believe that you were a compatible match for her, then she cut all ties so that you both could have the best opportunity to heal and move on. You're looking to rationalize what happened, but she made a decision and there is nothing you can do to change it. She wanted to end it and move on, so start doing so yourself. 1
Author sixt9r Posted October 23, 2013 Author Posted October 23, 2013 Yeah you are both right. I over Analyze things... the fact she said she doesn't think I'm right for her i thought that there was a chance she is not fully confident that is the case. As apposed to if she had said I know you are not the right person for her.. Time to forget her and move on. Wish me luck.
headinthecloud Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 Yes, I am going through a similar situation after we dated for 1.5 years. We had even been talking about marriage topics the weeks prior to our breakup. A couple of things took a turn for the worse in her life and she ended it out of stress and lack of time (she's a single mom). Even if she does want you back, why would you want her back. You need to find someone who will stick with you no matter what, not bail on you when things are inconvenient for them. Agreed. Sounds like she just wasn't that into you. And don't play games in the relationship. Express how you feel, don't hide it because you're afraid she will run away. If she does then she's not the right person for you. You should always feel free in a relationship to be yourself. Keep yourself busy and move forward. Go NC. You will ind someone that loves you, all of you. And she won't run away when things get tough.
Author sixt9r Posted October 23, 2013 Author Posted October 23, 2013 Thanks for the replies people! It's killing me. She appeared to be so into me... more so than i was into her! Why can't i get rid of this feeling in my mind that she said those words to escape because she was getting cold feet, has emotional difficulty letting people in etc. I'm already at the denial stage evidentally! Geez!
AnyaNova Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 Thanks for the replies people! It's killing me. She appeared to be so into me... more so than i was into her! Why can't i get rid of this feeling in my mind that she said those words to escape because she was getting cold feet, has emotional difficulty letting people in etc. I'm already at the denial stage evidentally! Geez! Well, as far as mixed signals go, my ex pretty much sent me away while showing really strong feeling for me without giving any real clear reason for doing so. Up to and including continually pulling me closer while we cuddled, as if he couldn't get me close enough to him, and running for a bit behind my car as I drove away for the last one (bit theatrical, in its own way, but for him I know it was real, and felt real and it was so very him). When their feelings change so suddenly, or their actions, words, and feelings aren't lining up right, it really hurts and leaves you with so many questions. I am still struggling in and out of trying to be over mine. :-). Keep posting. There is so much good advice to be found about keeping up with hobbies, and with taking good care of yourself. Definitely do those things. But know you are not alone, and know that many of us are struggling in differently decorated boats, so to speak. :-)
Author sixt9r Posted October 23, 2013 Author Posted October 23, 2013 Well, as far as mixed signals go, my ex pretty much sent me away while showing really strong feeling for me without giving any real clear reason for doing so. Up to and including continually pulling me closer while we cuddled, as if he couldn't get me close enough to him, and running for a bit behind my car as I drove away for the last one (bit theatrical, in its own way, but for him I know it was real, and felt real and it was so very him). When their feelings change so suddenly, or their actions, words, and feelings aren't lining up right, it really hurts and leaves you with so many questions. I am still struggling in and out of trying to be over mine. :-). Keep posting. There is so much good advice to be found about keeping up with hobbies, and with taking good care of yourself. Definitely do those things. But know you are not alone, and know that many of us are struggling in differently decorated boats, so to speak. :-) Thank you, that's great advice. It's just so overwhelming. Her actions towards me did not indicate that her feelings had changed... She was showing me that she liked me more each day and the week that it happened she was sending me messages that she <3's me etc. Not actually saying the words, but it was going that way. That's why it is so hard to accept. I'll keep reading through posts at other peoples experiences to help me through it!
ColdAlone Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 5 months sounds about right to me to determine if someone is a 'match'. If you want to know, try asking her 'would you be willing to share with me why you think I'm not the right man for you'. You can take it from there. Either work on what she feels is important to her, or move on.
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