LuvsTrucks2 Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 LS, How long does it take before I can stop looking at the clock during certain times of the day and think about STBXH and thinking about his schedule and what he would be doing? It's like my mind is programmed to look at the clock for his lunch break and when it's time for him to leave work.
MrE_UK Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 Hi, The time it takes to go through the motions of a separation and divorce varies from one person to the next. My post about the stages may help you: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/separation-divorce/427748-stages-separation-divorce To stop obsessing, you need to keep busy.
Author LuvsTrucks2 Posted October 23, 2013 Author Posted October 23, 2013 MrE, Thanks for the post. I have been keeping busy but I guess 10 years of programming isn't going to go away over night. I'm more curious to see if others found a particular event or moving on to another relationship is when this usually occurs. I do keep bouncing back and forth between the different stages. I know it takes time.
2sunny Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 MrE, Thanks for the post. I have been keeping busy but I guess 10 years of programming isn't going to go away over night. I'm more curious to see if others found a particular event or moving on to another relationship is when this usually occurs. I do keep bouncing back and forth between the different stages. I know it takes time. Do you work? Do you volunteer? Stay so busy that the thought doesn't even occur to you what time it may be.
dienstag Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 Totally agree with the comment above - stay busy, this is the cure. Too much time is the problem. 1
Author LuvsTrucks2 Posted October 23, 2013 Author Posted October 23, 2013 I think I'm keeping pretty busy, I work full time, have long hours, and commute long distances each day. My job is very chaotic. By the time I'm home on weeknights, I'm exhausted. I don't have this issue too much on the wekends, but the work week I do. Most of it comes from previously looking forward to his phone call check-ins which no longer occur. I guess I just need to stay away from anything that tells the time while at work and set my alarm on my cell to let me know it's almost time to go home.
TheBladeRunner Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 MrE, Thanks for the post. I have been keeping busy but I guess 10 years of programming isn't going to go away over night. I'm more curious to see if others found a particular event or moving on to another relationship is when this usually occurs. I do keep bouncing back and forth between the different stages. I know it takes time. I bounced back and forth between stages as well for the first 6 months. After that my bouts with the situation subsided. I still occasionally will some anger but this is few and far between these days. I was strange; right at about month 6 I just woke up one morning on a Saturday and I felt at peace. That's when I reached acceptance of what had happened I think.
TheBladeRunner Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 Totally agree with the comment above - stay busy, this is the cure. Too much time is the problem. I agree, stay busy. Find new hobbies and interests or re-visit past ones. Getting out of your own head is a must. My darkest times were when I was by myself, my daughter was with her mom, and it was just me and the TV....not good. Reconnect with yourself and try new things, I found it really helped me.
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