ex and I playing a game?

[brokenhearted9]

Hi all, so my ex and I were IMing and we apologized to each other about not realizing our potential. Things we did wrong and we came to the conclusion that we never really gave it a shot. he then told me to get offline because I was making him cry at work. he said now I am the whiny pathetic looking person and I knew you would get over it faster then me. He said that I never validated him enough. That I was always talking about my ex how rich and fabulous they were and it made him feel like a chump so that is why he goes on the net wanting to chat with girls. I told him he should not need that much validation. Then he asked me to indulge him with these questions and he asked" am I the best love you have ever had so far" I said yes ( even though I did not mean it, felt bad he was so upset) he said thanks. He said it made him feel better that I actually really loved him and did not use him for all the things he gave me. This guy took me home to france to meet his family and was alwasy taking care of me even when I was super depressed and just lying in his bed all the time. I think he really loved me but I just broke up with him all the time because of my insecrities that I didn't have my act together. Anyways then I tell him I have been dating, gone on two dates but with one of them I kept on thinking about him and how good lying in bed naked withhim was. he said he was happy. I told him I am more carefree and laidback than ever and he said that's all he ever wanted of me was to have fun and not put so much pressure on things. Well in the end he said he would love to go on dates to have that feeling that I am the one he wwants to be with. to validate it because he does not know how he feels right now. I said fine go on dates. I said don'texpect me not to either. he asked me to not do anythign destructive to our potential relationship which I take it means don't sleep with anyone( said if I need to then come to him). Well he is the pervy boyfriend who has gone on those sex websites to try to get laid. I know it's gross but no grosser then men going to bars and having one night stands. Anyways, I checked and he has not looked at those sites for 3 days since Iming me. I think it's a good sign. I want him back. Is the next strategy to not contact him at all so he will worry? What if he does the same thing and we turn it into a game? I am confused. please help

[Miffy]

I don;t want to upset you but it sounds like you are both playing a game. You are either sure or not and one/both of you are going to get hurt. Yes I think you are right in that you should not contact hoim - whats that saying 'if you love them set them free, if they don't come back they were never yours'.

 

I am not an expert at all and would not claim to be - whoaah I've got it wrong before but talking about ex conquests or potentials is only going to cause pain. Who do you think likes who the most?

 

Games are awful - I am not going to repeat all here but if you want to know search on my name you will see that I have been involved in a relationship recently which was like that. You end up getting scewed up because you get more interested in winning the game than the love for each other.

 

I am not on here to critisise and i truly hope it works out for you - I am just warning you don;t get into p;laying games unless you are good at it and your heart is not involved otherwise you will get hurt.

 

Good luck to you.

[mixwell]

I dont know if he is playing games. After all you said that you dumped him. He is just doing what he needs to get by. If you want to be with him then go for it. You never know how things are going to be if you dont give him another chance. Take it slow though. If you go on a date and you think its going good maybe let him know your interested. Flirt a little. He said he wants to go on dates with other people basically to make sure he wants to be with you ? Thats sort of how I was. I would break up with my girlfriend (now my ex. she dumped me this time) and date, only to find out that I didn't want to date anyone else. So its like that saying goes. You never know what you have until its gone. It took me breaking up to realize I wanted to be with her. I know it sucks.

 

Hope this helps you some.

[Miffy]

Yes Mixwells right if its good its worth a go - but be honest with each other - no games. Also remember that men think differently to women and what could be misconstrued as a game could just be the other sex's way of dealing with things:

 

for example - he hasn't called - assumption - he has forgot about me/he has someone else - might just be he was busy or he assumed that because last time you spoke everything was fine, it still is.

 

i hope everything works out for you whatever you decide.