together f/1.5 years...bf leaving for school.. what is the ring thing to do?

[chutney]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half. Unfortunately, he is leaving to go to grad school and plans on spending his full summer traveling. From the get go, he told me that from his previous relationship, he learned that he is unable to ever do distance in the future. Whereas before him, I had a long distance relationship with someone and we broke it off, but we're still best friends.

 

Bf and I both intially thought we woudln't fall for eachother so worrying about distance woudnt' be a problem. A year and half later, we love eachother and I'm crazy about him. Now as June nears, I feel extremely sad and I dont know what to do. He says that a lot of couples stay togehter until school is over, then break up because they can't physically be together.

 

But my view is, Why are we breaking a perfect thing?

 

Am I being too emotional and irrational?

[tattoomytoe]

Why are we breaking a perfect thing?

 

then do not. breaking up is a couples choice. it is what will work for both of you, not what others do when they break up.

[chutney]

he had a relationship and after that he doesn't want to get into another long distance. I on the other hand am not against a long distance b/c i like him that much. He says everything would be much easier if I broke it off...That way he doesn't have to do it when he leaves.

 

i just dont knwo what to do.

[Miss Perfection]

Hes going to have a lot of "FUN" while hes in school.

[chutney]

and that means what?!!!

[tgrace]

This just recently happened to me. I started dating a guy August 2003 and wasn't looking for anything permanent. He told me pretty much from the onset that he would be relocating to a university on the other side of the state a year from then. As time went on, we pledged true love to each other and even lived together for about 5 months (to see if there was anything there to preserve while he was gone). He wanted me to relocate with him but, because of my kids, I didn't want to uproot them. We decided if it was meant to be, it would work.

 

He moved to the other side of the state in July and started school in September. We visited back and forth and all seemed fine. I missed him terribly and started actually thinking that uprooting could be done. When I mentioned that to him he was excited about it at first. Around 5 weeks later, he broke up with me stating that he realized he wasn't in love with me. He loved me but he wanted to be 'in love' with somebody so much that he felt he had put that off on me. However, he still wants to remain friends and calls me a lot.

 

So, I'm not sure if the distance was the problem. He claims that if I had moved over there, it would have been a mistake in the end. However, when he was physically here, everything was wonderful. He told me I never did anything wrong, that there was nothing with this breakup that was my fault. I think I'm still trying to make sense of the whole mess.

 

Not sure if that will help, but it's a good example of how long distance relationships can fall apart. Before you pack up and relocate, make sure you're clear on where everyone stands emotionally.

[chutney]

I'm not about to move, because i am in school, he's just moving..

i guess i just have to A) either deal with it..or B) do something about it..i.e deal with it or break up.

 

my problem is i dont know which one to do...i can deal with it and think about this all the time..or break up and wonder about the fun we could have had for the small amt. of time that we would have...

what would any of you all do? or what does anyone suggest?