aybc123 Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 (edited) So, Broke up with ex in july from 2.5yr relationship, story is here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/434120-any-hope Basically, the breakup was initiated by her but i had plausible reasons for agreeing to the breakup (me possibly moving away again, LD had been a problem for us during the relationship the first time around) that i used to try to make it seem mutual. Underneath i was hurt but not devastated, mostly because the reason she had given was that she was not healthy enough to be in a relationship (read original thread for more details on her mental health problems) but that if she was, she would want to be with me, so i guess I thought i could agree for now and just deal with being friends and that eventually she would come around. This was fine until she suddenly became very distant a couple of weeks after moving away for a few months for work (about 6 weeks post breakup). After a couple of weeks when she was back for the weekend she told me she had been on a few dates with a new guy but that it was nothing serious as she'd be moving back here. I dealt with this well at the time and then progressively stewed on it and worrying i'd missed my chance, basically panicked, poured my heart out a bit and then when she didnt reply immediately got hurt/ annoyed and ended up deleting her from my phone and social media telling her i couldnt be friends with her for a while that i still had feelings for her and needed to move on as she had. I actually felt better after this but after a week or so felt guilty about acting fairly childishly and also for not even trying to win her back so tried to call to apologise, she wouldnt pick up and just texted asking 'why are you calling? i thought you didnt want to speak to me' i tried to call again but when she didnt pick up i just texted her saying that 'i wanted to apologise for being an idiot, that i loved her and didnt want to just move on or get over it'. After this she basically hasnt responded to me since, i sent a couple of texts and missed calls the next day before i figured out i was being ignored, which came as a pretty huge shock because it was so out of character for her. It's been about 6 weeks since then and i havent heard from her, i've texted her twice in that time, a few weeks apart each, one just asking why she was ignoring me and saying it made me sad and the other apologising for deleting her etc and overreacting, explaining i hadnt been trying to guilt her or anything and that i hoped she would forgive me. I'm about 14days NC now since the second text but i'm getting tempted to text her again. My rationalisation for this is that I haven't made it clear in my last text that i didnt just tell her i loved her etc just because there was a new guy and i was feeling jealous, but that i had felt that way since we'd broken up which she may not realise since i agreed to it so readily at the time and that when she told me I realised i needed to act and had left it too late. This is probably a bad idea which is why im making a post here before I do it. I just feel like maybe she's really angry with me thinking thats why I did it which is why i got ignored so suddenly. I dont want to believe it's the other option that its just too much hassle for her to even bother talking to me and she just wants to focus on the new guy. I also would like peoples opinions on writing a short letter just explaining things and sending it in a card at christmas, i dont have her current address in the city shes in and she'll only be moving back to my town for a week or two in dec before going home to her family for christmas so i'd send it there. Additionally I still have a quite expensive jumper of hers that i couldnt find when we swapped the rest of our stuff back and I lent her my swimming goggles before she went away which i would kind of like back (they were only £20 but i cant really afford to buy new ones at the moment, we're phd students and funds are pretty limited). Edited October 23, 2013 by aybc123
Simon Phoenix Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 No, no, no, no, no. I think that's 10 characters. 1
Author aybc123 Posted October 23, 2013 Author Posted October 23, 2013 (edited) lol, thanks, i think i knew that was the answer. I really regret pushing her away. I didnt even get a chance to say goodbye in person. The last time i saw her when she left things were looking up, she wanted me to come visit her, was texting me good morning every morning, asking to call on skype most nights. The last 2 months since she suddenly withdrew have been like some kind of nightmare and i just want to wake up :/ I keep vaccilating between feeling sorry and regretful about it and wanting to talk to her, and then seething anger at the lack of respect ignoring me has shown. Edited October 23, 2013 by aybc123
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