Lansing Posted October 25, 2013 Posted October 25, 2013 I ran into an ex (only dated for like 2 months) about a year ago after not seeing her in like 3+ years. It was a very quick meet up on the bus and I was with a friend so I didn't chat to her much. I ended up sending her an e-mail a few days later to catch up more and she responded but she didn't respond to my follow up. I had ended things with her but I felt like she wasn't really into the relationship and it wasn't going anywhere at the time. However, I would have been interested in being friends with her. Felt like the feelings for friendship were not mutual though.
Author maestrok Posted October 25, 2013 Author Posted October 25, 2013 I ran into an ex (only dated for like 2 months) about a year ago after not seeing her in like 3+ years. It was a very quick meet up on the bus and I was with a friend so I didn't chat to her much. I ended up sending her an e-mail a few days later to catch up more and she responded but she didn't respond to my follow up. I had ended things with her but I felt like she wasn't really into the relationship and it wasn't going anywhere at the time. However, I would have been interested in being friends with her. Felt like the feelings for friendship were not mutual though. I mean I am personally not interested in/can't do friend with an ex of mine as well ... Hopefully he'd respond to me if I eventually contact him though i am still fearing the rejection urgh And don't know how/when i should do it... Seems really random hopefully he wouldnt think its weird or psychotic?
mrs rubble Posted October 26, 2013 Posted October 26, 2013 A couple of years ago an ex bf of mine contacted me through social media after no contact for 20yrs!!! We'd split up due to a LDR not fufilling either of us (we lived on opposite ends of the country) and we were very young. We'd both been married, both had teenage kids and were both single again....now tho....we lived on opposite sides of the world! He did visit me when he made it home and invited me to a party at his family home...we jumped into bed together that night both knowing it would go no further than one night of passion. We remain friendly and email each other eratically. Just was never meant to be I think.
I-Love-Liberty Posted October 26, 2013 Posted October 26, 2013 I can't we are no longer fb friends and almost no mutual friends. It's a little complicated ... I agree with you and the other poster that contacting sooner sounds more plausible but just that I am not exactly in town right now either (though same state) ... Will be moving back into his neighborhood (within 10minute distance) next july.... Is that too long a time to wait around..? Should i still contact just to get things going and start getting to know each other slowly again even though there is no real likelihood we can hang out on a consistent basis until then? I think you should start talking to him now, you're worried he may reject you, so there is no point in waiting until next year to talk to him, because what if you get rejected then? Or he may be with someone. Then you'll be thinking to yourself why oh why didn't I talk to him back then. My situation, I've been talking to my ex for several months now, hung out a few times when she was in the area, but since I live in another state right now I haven't been trying to get with her. Next month when I move back tho I'll see whats up and I think it's a good thing that I've seen and talked to her several times, it works in the favor of building a relationship back. Small steps. You know what I mean? She wants to be around me now.
cif Posted October 26, 2013 Posted October 26, 2013 Small steps i agree are better and the distance will help with that. He wont think your weird or psychotic but careful with your follow ups. And dont get intimate. Keep it platonic until you get back.
kassy Posted October 26, 2013 Posted October 26, 2013 I have had a few ex's contact me in the past. It was nice to catch up over email or text and hear how they are doing but I have no interest in meeting them again for a relationship (when I was single) but I think that was also clear from our interaction. If it was me I'd say something like: Hey stranger, it's been a long time! I just went past ... And it made me thing of you. Just thought I'd see how you are going? Hope you have a great weekend. Kassy Obviusly refer to someplace you used to go or something you used to do together or whatever
Author maestrok Posted October 26, 2013 Author Posted October 26, 2013 I have had a few ex's contact me in the past. It was nice to catch up over email or text and hear how they are doing but I have no interest in meeting them again for a relationship (when I was single) but I think that was also clear from our interaction. If it was me I'd say something like: Hey stranger, it's been a long time! I just went past ... And it made me thing of you. Just thought I'd see how you are going? Hope you have a great weekend. Kassy Obviusly refer to someplace you used to go or something you used to do together or whatever Why would you be not interested in meeting them again for a relationship? Do you think if she? he? did certain things, it would have changed your mind? (Now that I've been thinking about this over and over for days ... maybe he hasn't contacted me all these years because he doesn't want me.. )
kassy Posted October 26, 2013 Posted October 26, 2013 Look just put yourself out of your misery and message him in some way today. He might be thrilled. He might be happy to hear from you and not want more. he may not even respond. But just contact him and take it from there. Only he will be able to give you the answer. No my exes were exes for a reason and while I genuinely am happy they are going well and are happy I have no interest in rekindling the romance. For what it's worth all are either in relationships or seemingly happily married with kids now. So just remember he isn't the last man on earth. But give it a shot what do you have to lose?
Author maestrok Posted October 26, 2013 Author Posted October 26, 2013 Look just put yourself out of your misery and message him in some way today. He might be thrilled. He might be happy to hear from you and not want more. he may not even respond. But just contact him and take it from there. Only he will be able to give you the answer. No my exes were exes for a reason and while I genuinely am happy they are going well and are happy I have no interest in rekindling the romance. For what it's worth all are either in relationships or seemingly happily married with kids now. So just remember he isn't the last man on earth. But give it a shot what do you have to lose? I know I'm acting like a wimp now Tbh I've always thought the same as you: exes are exes for a reason. Never looked back. But I really miss him so I wanted to cut out an exception for him ... but now I'm just very conflicted...I feel so stupid. Ek. Thanks for your input nonetheless!
I-Love-Liberty Posted October 26, 2013 Posted October 26, 2013 maestrok how long were you together with him? I didn't see it anywhere in the posts.
Author maestrok Posted October 26, 2013 Author Posted October 26, 2013 maestrok how long were you together with him? I didn't see it anywhere in the posts. So we were together for a little less than 2 years back in college.
I-Love-Liberty Posted October 26, 2013 Posted October 26, 2013 Break up wasn't bad, first love, you miss him. What you gonna do? I say go for it.
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