vagabonder Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 As fairly new to the dating works as a single mom, I'm wondering what the etiquette is in this situation. There is a guy I am seriously thinking to ask to hang out (not sure if it would be a date or as friends). We've made small chit chat before, but I'm not sure if he knows I have kids. Is it better to disclose that before or during asking him out so if that's a big turn off he's not then stuck on a night out with me? Or fine to wait until we actually get together to let him know?
ponchsox Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 If you ask him out and he says yes, I would tell him you have a kid upfront. Dating a single mom takes a special kind of person. I just dated one for a year and a half and we just couldn't find the time we needed to grow our relationship. It sucks, but it's the reality of dating a single mom. The good news is, if he says yes, he most likely is a good guy with good intentions. 1
todreaminblue Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 As fairly new to the dating works as a single mom, I'm wondering what the etiquette is in this situation. There is a guy I am seriously thinking to ask to hang out (not sure if it would be a date or as friends). We've made small chit chat before, but I'm not sure if he knows I have kids. Is it better to disclose that before or during asking him out so if that's a big turn off he's not then stuck on a night out with me? Or fine to wait until we actually get together to let him know? i disclose straight away......i am a mum......... cant be left .....they need to know........i also let my kids knwo when i am interested in someone before normally i tell the guy them being prepared and comfortable is foremost....they are so gracious even when they know i liek soemone....that they treat the guy no differently..they treat him with respect and acceptance...if i like them they are ok.......i expect the guy i am with to have the same level of acxceptance adn that is why i disclose early.....i dotn want to waste any time with him or have him waste time with me....i dotn date casual....its serious because i have to be....my life isnt the only one to be affected...many lives are affected....including theirs...if i get treated badly or my kids get treated badly it has an affect that doesnt just disappear so i date with discernment.i go out with guys who seem to enjoy the company and have time for kids.....normally guys who want to or do work with kids....are my choice.......i have five...some are now adults...they are still my kids........deb 1
crederer Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 Definately after or during the first date. For some guys it's an automatic "no" if you have kids, for others they may lean towards "no" but if you hit it off they may be looking to over look it. Just go for it, what's the worst that could happen? Either way it needs to be disclosed early. 1
Author vagabonder Posted October 23, 2013 Author Posted October 23, 2013 I definitely don't want to hide it, but wasn't sure if I needed to include it in the asking out or if it could wait until the first date. Like, do I say, "do you want to go get drinks after work? Btw, I'm a single mom."? Feels kind of like an awkward add-on, but perhaps necessary? 1
todreaminblue Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 I definitely don't want to hide it, but wasn't sure if I needed to include it in the asking out or if it could wait until the first date. Like, do I say, "do you want to go get drinks after work? Btw, I'm a single mom."? Feels kind of like an awkward add-on, but perhaps necessary? its only awkward if you are not proud of the fact.....mums rock ...be confident if he walks away ...he wasnt right for you or your kids so why bother going for a drink with him...you rock.your kids rock..rock on with sunnies attached:cool:....deb
crederer Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 There's nothing wrong with moms. We all have them (or did at one point). I completely agree with you concerns. I;d have them too if I was in your shoes. The reality is you wont know how other's feel until you explore it. If a girl swept me off my feet I wouldn't care. But if it was presented before we went on a date I'd get outta dodge. Not trying to be mean or anything, just real talk.
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