generic person Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 Hey, I turn 25 in three weeks and was dating a girl nearly two years younger then me for three and a half years. We got together when I was 21 and she was 19 things were good and she was the most beautiful, fun, loving person i had ever met, she would have done anything for me. I admit I treated her like garbage at the start of our relationship but as our relationship went on I started to grow as a person becoming nicer, more level headed, (maybe a push over) and would never raise my voice or swear. The more i grew as a person and the nicer/ better partner i became the worse she got. She was living with a relative and was from a different state so she didn't have many friends and the ones that she has chosen are really dull, lifeless and boring, they all have some form of eating dissorders or depression and have been seeing psycologist for years. Her mum (her number one roll model) is on her third marrage and has affairs. We move in together for a year and a half and then her mother moved over from another state, within a month she broke up with me and moved in to her mums house, this we got back together once or twice more but this is when the problems really started. I'm not sure if it was her mum, her friends, or if im just making excuses for our failed relationship. we continued dating for another 12 months and the longer she lived at her mums and the more she saw her friends the worse she started treating me. I remember once i watched a relatives last breaths and she told me she is going to her friends birthday party instead of coming to be by my side, i do admit i was 4 hours drive away but i think i should have known and I really wish i ended it right their and then. as time went on she would always threaten to break up with me and i would talk her into staying which i know is stupid. She recently got back an overseas trip and i decided to have the talk and we both said we can see each other in 5 years time. Things went really well for three weeks then one night after going out she broke up with me the next morning over the phone and said some horrible things. After she abruptly hung up on me i have had no contact with her what so ever, deleted off facebook, no texts, emails, phone calls nothing. The only problem is she hasn't tried to contact me at all either. I am on day 59 and it has really helped me, went on a speratic trip overseas which helped clear my head a lot, have been hanging out with old friends again and getting back into shape. Although now i find myself thinking of her again, i still know i love her but i am enjoying my time alone focusing on myself, work, friends, fun and i am ok with the break up, I will stay strong but i don't totally know how long to hold no contact for, this time i realise if we ever get back together it will be because she realises she made a mistake and she would have to come back to me by herself without me initiating any contact or we would be back to square one. I do find myself hoping she will message me again but after this no contact period I am a much better person for it. I hope you all follow the NC as well because every one deserves to be happy by themselves and a relationship will never work if its held together by one partner begging, guilting and pleeding. Anyway let me know your thoughts on my story and any advice for the future. enjoy Hope this helps some one 2
aybc123 Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 she sounds quite immature emotionally and with role models like her mother she may never mature into the person you would've liked her to be. So I personally dont think you should ever break NC. If she does and comes back after a significant amount of time hopefully it will be because she has changed as a person and grown up. 1
Author generic person Posted October 23, 2013 Author Posted October 23, 2013 I probably couldn't of worded it any better, it's only recently when i have become ok with the break up have i started thinking of her again and wondering but unfortunately your right, she probably won't ever mature into the person she could be. thanks for pointing that out
RoseNThorns Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 NC .....!! She will come back....SOMEDAY! Give her time to realise what she has done... Until then... concentrate on yourself. 1
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