StringsAttached Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 (edited) I'm lost, I feel dead and I need help. I'll try to make this as short as possible. Basically me and my ex had a falling out 6 months ago. An awful dismissal. No closure no nothing just a text msg saying she doesn't want to be with me anymore because of religious differences. Mind you she promised me we'd have kids, family, house and we'd be together forever. I'm a person who holds promises very dear. Now we went no contact for 6 months until I got drunk and called her. She begged me to keep talking to her and be friends so I accepted hoping that she'd come around and take me back. Now we've been talking for 2 months as friends and I lean on her a bit ask her if there's any hope between us and she says she won't give an answer. When I press her for a response she tells me she was raped. Basically, not 2 months after our relationship was over she wanted what she had with me with another man. She tried online dating and met a guy, he told her he wanted to meet up with another friend and this dumb pos actually agrees. She meets him, turns out he's a degenerate pimp and rapes her after making her smoke meth. Now at first I blamed it on myself, maybe if I hadn't of gotten her to lose interest this wouldn't have happened. Then I thought maybe this is ****ing karma! I mean this girl ripped my heart out, blindsided me. I was so in shock that I started doing drugs to feel like everything was ok. 6 months of daily drugs (won't say what)...now I feel dead inside. The only girl i've ever truly loved might have HIV...Now I was nice enough, I comforted her and told her im her best friend. But I feel like ****ing destroying something? I have so much rage and im trapped. Do I say goodbye to her. Do I continue being her friend? I love her still, but she gave me up so easily and tried to replace me and look what happened? This is absolute bull**** please somebody help me. It feels like my life is a movie for someone's entertainment. I just want to crawl under a rock and die. Edited October 22, 2013 by StringsAttached
Author StringsAttached Posted October 22, 2013 Author Posted October 22, 2013 Forgive me, but... you're pretty selfish. I ask for help because i'm lost, high and scared right now and instead of advice you say that:(. Thank you very ****ing much.
r321148 Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 You both need professional help... More help than this site can give you. Good luck I hope you pull through but I don't have any advice.
Mcscooter Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 All I see is trouble and she doesn't sound like any good news.. especially how she left you. You just got to ask yourself. Is it worth it? (hint: nothing is worth getting HIV)
Author StringsAttached Posted October 22, 2013 Author Posted October 22, 2013 All I see is trouble and she doesn't sound like any good news.. especially how she left you. You just got to ask yourself. Is it worth it? (hint: nothing is worth getting HIV) She's going to see a dr pretty soon. She doesn't know if she has HIV but says she feels sleepy and tired all the time. This girl is beautiful, I can't believe what just happened to her, thanks for the responses people, this is a sad story I know.
Mcscooter Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 I mean if you could work it out, than do it. It's your life. A life with regrets is a life not spent well at all.
Author StringsAttached Posted October 22, 2013 Author Posted October 22, 2013 I mean if you could work it out, than do it. It's your life. A life with regrets is a life not spent well at all. Yeah man I just feel so disoriented right now, bipolar like whatever step I take it'll be the wrong one. It sucks.
Polak Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 Only thing I'll say is this. STEP 1: Go seek therapy. Go to rehab. You need to get off the drugs and start recovering your normal mind. After that things will become clearer. But you have to start there.
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